WEIGHTY Woes
Siaming the bulge after the festive season?

This has been a year of compensation. Been making up for the lost time over the past couple of years in terms of hanging out with friends, participating in sports, but most of all eating a whole lot of junk as though I were sentanced to hang tomorrow and each meal were my last. Funny thing is we are always advised to spend each day as though it were our last. I'm probably eating as if there were no tomorrow. Perhaps that's just my way of exposing my taste buds and digestive juices to the delicacies before I start putting an end to my rampage for food, and seriously (and I mean really seriously) go on a diet.

Compensating for starving myself in the past, or for religiously depriving myself of Char Kuay Teow or Hokkien mee? I don't know. All I know is that my discipline has waned and my resolve has vanished. Perhaps it's time to start thinking of my future--I can't fit into four pairs of trousers at this rate I'll never meet my target of donning them on again! Somehow, that little voice in me just keeps goading me on to eat more and think less: "no hurry, just put on something billowy. Besides, I'm not dying to find a date anyway!"

All the times of ordering Yong Tau Foo, soup only no mee, has gone down the drain. The religious fast from french fries and McFlurry has been sacredly violated. Good thing or a bad thing? Good thing is it's only right that my taste buds not be discrimated from those of my fellow Singaporeans--they should be given some favourable treatment shouldn't they. I mean, I should learn to enjoy life ya? Bad thing is that it's getting harder to find clothes to wear in the morning, and I definitely don't have enough esteem to put on all the spagetti tops I bought in the prime of my figure!

Another bad thing? My heart's been pounding hard and rapidly. With so much talk about cardiac arrests and marathoners losing their lives on the road (imagine 1 in 50 000 in the US, die during a marathon of heart problems!)My health has taken a toil. This so-called stress reaction has accompanied me for a year now--more frequent nowadays. It leaves me kind of breathless too. In addition, my digestion has been giving me some discomfort. The stomach has probably been overworked badly.

For health and for the practical reasons of getting back into those four trousers...AND losing that additional 4 kg plus I've put on this year (thanks to all the tea breaks, conferences, and office bingeing), I have to resolve myself to achieving a new balance in my life--eating right and eating less. This will be the first resolution. I've got to take care of my health and be responsible with my body. So that means getting back on track with gym, eating healthily (no more snacking out in the kitchen at night!), and seeking help for my heart.

How to siam the bulge after stuffing yourself with turkey and ham (in case some of you were conned into reading this entire article for tips)? Go for light chinese food like soups and porridge; wack the fruits and vege to help you get all the vits and fibre you need (these make you fuller too); go for the grain (wholegrains and wholemeal); and load up on gallons of water (water cleanses the system, and makes you fuller. Sometimes I eat too much cos' I'm thirsty not because I'm really hungry).

In a world filled with temptations--in a Singapore ridden with enticing food--eating healthily is no easy feat! It is one that requires unflinching determination and tremendous discipline. Seek the divine. He hates gluttony (one of the seven deadly sins), and so I've gotta make it a strong dislike in my life too. Weighty woes? My greatest advice would be to pray about it. God is the answer to esteem problems, health issues, and helplessness with them. Amen!

The Nativity Story

Got to watch this movie courtesy of my colleague, Mona--thanks Mona! :) She gave me some free movie passes for this show. Nice to have such friends that bless you in these ways!

Really touched by this show. Right from the start when Mary received the vision from the angel it just tugged at my heartstrings and set the tap flowing. It was so amazing that a woman so young (probably 16) was able to bear the challenge of stigma (of being an unwed mother), of people doubting the calling she received, and not to mention the arduous journey she had to endure to reach Betheleham. I was so in awe of the tremendous faith that the characters had. They truly deserved our awe and admiration, these men and women of faith. Joseph for one was someone who was selfless and righteous (Mary's mum called him a "good man". When I watched the show, I was thinking how I would really want to marry someone like that too).

The most important thing that stood out in this show for me was that all of them, although took divine steps of faith and obedience, were equally "Human". Like us, they had to go through those internal debates and mental distress before they found the courage to act in faith and trust of God. Mary, though a women of faith that was beyond her peers, she was still a teenage girl with her teenage inklings--the way she showed her displease when she was bethrothed. The way Mary and Joseph feared throughout their journey of living out their obedience; Joseph willing to bear the shame of having a baby out of wedlock; Mary's parents putting their trust in their daughter; even the three wise men (who were by the way such a comical trio) displayed tremendous faith in deciding that they will follow the star for more than hundred days! Still, they were humans because they had to go through difficult times of deliberation and contemplation before doing what they did.

The other important thing that touched me was the sudden awareness that dawned upon me: the sudden awareness that if these people didn't choose to follow God's promptings and visions, then Jesus wouldn't have made it to earth (He probably would have somehow but the point is that these people's faith led them to perform amazing acts that brought about the miracle of Christ)! It's little deeds of faith in God and the obedience that follows after that, which can make such a big difference in people's lives. Though I may not be a Mary, whatever I do in faith may make a big impact someone else's life. Small acts can make big differences. The pain Mary and Joseph endured was especially tough given that time and era where society was conservative and traditional, and travelling across places was tedious and dangerous. The things we go through today may be painful for us, but if it means more can be saved, why not?

We need to focus on the goal of eternity with Christ and spreading the salvation message to be able keep us going for the Lord, just like how Mary kept thinking about her child who would become the Messiah and save the world. Let's learn to fix our eyes on the unseen, pursue righteousness in our lives, and live a life that translates the love of God into reality around us. This story has touched me and reminded me of how I need to be faithful and obedient to His calling. It also reminded me that I can be capable of such acts because if Mary who was equally human could accomplish these things, then so could I. If we allow ourselves to be fearful of human circumstances then many things won't come to pass. So let's always think with the ultimate goal in mind.

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Tan Seow Hon wrote an article for the Straits Times in the Review section on 23 Dec (if I'm not wrong), "The 'Scandal of Christmas'", which I felt was a very inspiring and encouraging piece to all believers. Some excerpts below for your reading pleasure:

1. "The more accurate picture of the nativity would be one of Joseph and Mary worn out and dirty, in a dark and dirty manger...as the bible suggests, Jesus is the King of kings and the Son of God, the conditions for his birth were certainly not what most people would expect."

2. "...why choose Mary, a virgin, to bear the child Jesus? She was bethrothed to Joseph, but they were not yet married. Why not let Mary become pregnant only after they were married? That would have seemed less scandalous."

3. "...God stacked the odds against the couple uniting to raise Jesus, and also against people believing that Jesus is who he claims to be--the chosen Messiah and deliverer."

4. It is the humble and the meek who will receive Jesus and inherit this kingdom, hence it would have been counterproductive to overawe the arrogant with the attractive display of worldly power."

5. "The sacrifice and determination of Mary and Joseph in the face of difficulties signal the type of life a follower of this Messiah is expected to lead. The providence of God in ensuring the survival of Jesus despite the decrees of the king to kill all babies who might be the Messiah assures the faithful of God's will prevailing."

"This story means so much to people all around the world. I hope audiences can relate to the film on a personal level and find some inspiration to get through their own challenges and difficulties" ~Director Catherine Hardwicke

Righteous ANGER, Worldly SORROW...

(Was inspired to pen down some thoughts today. Ended up driving a little faster (just a little) than normal so that I can quickly come home and get started to record my thoughts in my blog. There were so many scriptural passages racing through my mind as I drove along the PIE. Now, I'm having difficulty recalling them. Will try my best.)

"How do you know if God is real?"
"I mean...how could Noah's Ark been real?"
"How could Jonas be swallowed by a whale and then later survive?"

We all experience those occasional doubts, where God doesn't feel real. It seems as though everything (well, at least many of the so-called biblical truths we grew up believing) don't seem so believable anymore. We start to question; we start to doubt. Soon, that purpose we once struggled to live for just slips out of our hands, our minds...and our heart just begins to grow cold--to God and to His mission. Have you felt like this before?

A special someone to me (nope I'm not attached--guys out there please do not be mistaken :) Girls out there, I've got loads of time to hang out so call me ya?), asked questions similar to those above--about Noak and his ark, about Jonah, etc. Her queries boiled down to whether God was real. "How can these biblical truths be so far-fetched? And the concepts of miracles? It's just so impossible in the world we live in today. Where is the manifestation of God to prove that He IS real?"

She wasn't the only one. Many of us go through that phase of questioning once in a while. (What does this got to do with my title? Sorry haven't came to the main point yet; let me beat around the bush for a while.) So we assured her that it was perfectly normal to have such questions, but it wasn't alright to allow any indifference and coldness to God's word dominate her life. The answer the rest of us gave was that we knew God was real from the goodness we experience in our lives, which can be derived from Him--the good things he had done for us.

(Few days later I found a great answer in the bible to that question as well. In Exodus 33:18, Moses said to God, "Now show me Your glory". And the Lord said this, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But, you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." Soon after, God's glory passed Moses by, and He revealed His back to Moses. Moses' prayer was to see the manifest glory of God. He wanted the assurance of God's presence with him, and also desired to know that presence experientially--just like how we often desire to so that we know that He is real and that He is truly with us. But we are infinite and worse still, morally imperfect, so we cannot exist and see God as He is. To see God's back means we can only see where God has passed by. We can only know Him by what He does and how He acts. So what is God's glory? God's glory is revealed in His Mercy, Grace, Compassion, Faithfulness, Forgiveness, and Justice. Those are the manifestations of God in our life!)

Today, as we went Christmas carolling, I found another answer to it! God is in our lives when we experience that RIGHTEOUS ANGER and GODLY SORROW in our lives--when you feel that you are no longer 'part of this world': When you start to dislike things of the world, and feel angry about the human deeds that conflict that of the Word; when you feel that deep sadness when things are not right in your life, and feel a sense of repentance and need for God's forgiveness. That is another form of God's manifestation in your life, when we start to feel that we are "strangers in the world' like what Peter writes in the bible (1 Peter 1:1). Righteous anger can help drive ideals (not idealism) and the compassion to act. Godly sorrow in contrary to worldly sorrow, which encompasses a lot of self-pity and regret, directs us to repentance and change. Sad to say, the Christian walk is a challenging road lined with the awareness that people around you may not hold the same values as you do; the tension you feel when you need to stick to your own; and the need for boldness to be able to act on them. It's a tough road that gets even tougher as you know more and more about God because you become even more sensitive to minor wrongdoings that those spiritually younger may not be aware of.

So here are some bible verses of encouragement to those who are like me, still seeking God for the courage to stand firm and be bold in the face of such a challenge--to conform to the ways of the world or allow oneself to waver during such testing situations. It's hard especially when people will poke fun at that "holier than thou" image you appear to them to be putting on. That's the toughest part to overcome and conquer. And that's when you need to have a lot of self-esteem and confidence not only in yourself as an individual but also in the Lord.

1. The Beautitudes: Matthew Chapter 5, verse 10 says, "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

2. Matthew 5: 14-16 says "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

3. Romans 12:1-2 says "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

4. For those who are aware that they could be vulnerable during testing moments, and may potentially succumb to conformity, remember this: Proverbs 12:26 says "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray." Don't subject yourself to temptation when you know you are weak, just like how you won't walk into Ben and Jerry's when you are on a diet (a weight-loss diet that is; perfectly okay if you are out to gain weight or feast on comfort food)! Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14); evil company corrupts good habits (1 Corinthians 15:33)!

5. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Isn't this verse so empowering!

Rely on these verses in times of righteous anger and challenging times when you face that tension of whether or not you should give in to circumstances. Knowing is one thing, acting on it is another issue altogether. I go through life with that difficulty. However, I know it's something I must overcome to become stronger in Christ. And I know that being aware of it represents a new level of spiritual maturity in my life--the love for God and His word, a yearning to become Holy and pure like Jesus is.

Lord, I want to be more like you. And that means sometimes doing the unpopular, or at times being the wet blanket. That takes courage, Lord. And I need it from You. For blessed are those who are persecuted in Your name. Help me focus on that goal as I run the race for You. I want to follow Your ways for You are holy.

Dear Lord, I want to be that light that shines for You and not for my pride or my friends. Help me to act on my righteous anger and godly sorrow. Give me the wisdom to know how to react in such testing moments; to know how to find the balance in holding my ground yet making my Christian values known without offending others. Challenge me and strengthen me as you help me overcome these testing moments. Thank You, Lord. Amen!

I WANT TO LIVE EVERY DAY FOR GOD!

- Loving Him
- Serving Him
- Worshipping Him
- Praising Him
- Obeying Him
- Trusting Him

Whenever I went jogging in the past, somehow a flurry of ideas would storm my brain, and creative juices would begin to submerge my synapses. I remember always attributing them to God and treating them as inspirations from Him. This once familiar and motivating experience had been absent for a while now, but today it has made a comeback!!

Today, I went for the Stan-Chart Marathon at Marina. Did the half marathon (21 km); flagoff was at 06:30. As I head for the starting point, there were already many people in line, so I was pretty far from the starting point but managed to squirm through as much as I could. Anyway, the important point is that as I began the race I recalled how one of the pastors in my church once gave a sermon on how life resembled a marathon race. Many thoughts just flooded my mind as I ran that race, which were quite insightful--at least for me. Also managed to think of two submissions for SSS.

Go for the GOLD

(some life perspectives gained from my run; tips on raising the score on the meaning metre in your life)

1. "Run a marathon" - I don't mean it literally but rather go do something that you've never done before or something you've been procrastinating about. Be adventurous and challenge yourself. In the past few years I've been looking for opportunities to do novel things (mostly on my own) and with each thing I accumulated wonderful experiences and achieved new worldviews. For example, I tried for Singapore Idol during which I witnessed how God worked for me.

2. "I'm not here to run a 42-km marathon, I'm here to finish 1-km runs, 42 times" - Read this on one of the participant tags pinned to the back of the shirt of this Caucasian lady runner who was on the plump side. It was very mind-blowing for me cos' it is so CBT! She set small goals to accomplish the big goal of completing the marathon. "Victory" may mean different things to people, but the principle of setting small and achievable goals along the way can help us work towards that final success we want for our lives.

3. Remember to take pictures - saw a runner stop to take a photo along the way. Sometimes, we are to involved in the process of "running" in our lives that we fail to stop and reflect back or recall past memories. Of course, not asking you to always dwell in the past. But learn from it and move on like how that runner did. Throughout the race, esp at the beginning when I was still pretty energetic, I really made it a point to enjoy the sights along the way (did some people-watching too). There was this scene that I took of mental picture of - running on the road at Raffles area between two rows of skysrapers with the forward arrow marking on the road before me and a group of runners in front of me - really liked it (suddenly I felt as though I was in Boston). Enjoy the process of living your life; don't just savour the results but also reflect on history and live in the present.

4. People ran for different reasons - There were people who ran so they could eat their laksa after the race (written on some tags). One guy ran for God; another for his dad; saw one that ran for his wife and kids. There was one lady who ran with a tyre, styrofoam box and some aluminium cans, publicising her cause to save the environment. Everybody was doing the same action - running - but everyone did it for different reasons. We love our lives for different reasons; we do things in our lives for different reasons - don't be too quick to judge people by what they do, be gracious enough to give them the benefit of doubt by thinking about possible motives and intentions. Find your reason for living your life; what gives you meaning?

5. "Fancy dress competition" - Though we were all given the Stan-Chart dri-fit shirt as part of our race pack, some chose to be attired in their own sports gear, while others looked real professional with their power gels strapped around their waists and cool shades and MP3 players, what have you. Some people looked real sporty and atheletic with their bright and colourful dri-fit singlets contrasting their bronzed tan and Oscar-like physique. There were people who were "flashier" than others. There were also people who had weird styles of running. You'll see some people who are more outstanding in life. Nonetheless, it is largely a matter of choice, you can also choose to "wear that shirt" and make yourself prominent by adopting a positive attitude and standing out because of that. Of course, sometimes people who try to attract attention, attract negative attention for themselves. You can choose what kind of attention you want to draw to yourself.

6. Sucess stories can boost morale - Parts of the route had two carriageways because there were U-turns and we could see people in front of us running toward the finish line. Kind of 'observed' the recency and primacy effect. People will always pay attention to those that finish the race the fastest - the CEOs listed in Fortune mag, the woman of the year in Her World - the people who rise above their peers and make it big. But there will also be success stories of people who fell but bounced back, or people who hung on to the last minute (esp in races), the "last few runners" will also be remembered for not giving up even though everyone else have finished the race. Seeing some people who were kinda obese press on in the race was very motivating.

7. Supporters and encouragers - The committee organisised a "Runspiration" whereby they get supporters to participate in the marathon by encouraging and ra-ra-ing runners along the way. Of course they were also helpers who lined the route, poured drinks for us and provided deep heat along the way. These people helped in keeping us going. There will be people who are there to encourage us during various points in our lives. Be encouraged and encourage others around. Remember reading someone's tag which said "encourage me if you see me walking". Really wanted to but I didn't. That reminded me that I should keep praying for boldness and courage. If you feel down and lonely in your life, go run a marathon!

8. "Do your stretching!" - It's important to do your stretching before and after the race just like how in life before you plunge into any action plan, do your preparation properly. It is essential to put effort into the preparation. Loading carbs is just like gathering your resources. After that do an After Action Review to see what you've done well, what needs improvement and what opportunities there are in the future. If you don't do "stretching", you'll get your aches and pains the following day.

Whoa, I'm tired now. Finally recorded everything that I thought of on my blog. Can use this as illustration for talks next time. When I was running I reflected and thought to myself about how good my life has been thus far. No hardship or "real" difficulties (praise God!). However, most inspirational speakers have gone through some kind of adversity in their lives and have bounced back (that's why they got things to share) so I can never be one *sigh*. I probably need to accumulate and actively seek experiences to be inspired so that I got something to share. Okay, gotta stop here.