Unconditional Love Displayed Conditionally

It's nicely captured in that title, I guess. Yep, that's how it is with my pup. He's a cutesy, girley, Brenheim (meaning white and brown coat), King Charles Cavalier Spaniel. His name is Chewie, and I think from the likes of it, the name is perfectly apt in describing him--chewing is his favorite pastime now and I hope not forever. He's 4 pounds now and as tiny as a boot. Whenever he sits still in his favorite toy dog position, he looks like a stuffed animal.

Yesterday, as per everyday, I was awakened by his squeaky yelps and moans around 8am (he is definitely the morning lark and not the late-night owl). In my fuzziness, I discovered a "lovely" little mess the boy had made. Because an abruptly awakened person is seldom a happy one, I lost my cool though it was largely watered down cos' at the back of mind I was aware he was still a puppy who wasn't the best at holding his poop and pee. Nonetheless, I was grouchier than Oscar and his Grouchketeers.

So what exactly was the damage? There was poop on my bathroom mat, which was one of his favorite lying spots, and to my horror, I found the same beige mat that I adored to be gnawed and frayed at the corners with stray threads littered beside it. I was mad!! I gave Mr Chewie several spanks on his butt and topped them with a furious scolding. Clearly afraid and guilt-ridden, the young mister hurried back to his crate and lay on his towel with full knowledge that he had done something wrong.

Unconditional love with a conditional display. It's difficult not to love this pup especially when he's cute and affectionate: he seizes every chance to scramble into your lap when you sit on the carpet; he loves to lick your toe (though most of the time he bites with his new set of milk teeth!); and he never fails to amuse whenever he straightens his neck upon hearing the doorbell in the Tacobell ad on TV. It's so easy to love him unconditionally, yet at times I get so mad that extending such love becomes an exceptional feat.

On the other hand, his unconditional regard for me (despite the numerous dressing downs he gets when he sets me up on an anger trail) makes it difficult to not reciprocate that affection. However, with puppies, showing that love conditionally helps them understand their limits and boundaries; it becomes necessary to dispense external and social reinforcers when they behave, and punish, confine or deny them of their reinforcement when they go out of line. Hence, the title "Unconditional Love Displayed Conditionally".

I learn a couple of things from this conditional-appearing, unconditional love that I have for Chewie:

1. Loving something adorable is simple. But when that love object messes up, when that love object shows disdain for you, or even when that love object is simply externally unattractive, the task of loving becomes a chore. But God doesn't treat His love for us like a chore or task; he simply loves us unconditionally although we screw up sometimes, although we make a mess of our own lives, and although we show our disdain for Him. Loving us unconditionally is what He does best.

Chewie, when he was still lying in his bed with the right side up

(now he likes to flip it and lie on the other side!)

2. Chewie always flaunts his unconditional regard for me without hesitation. One could say that that's his natural instinct. Even though I shower him with conditional-appearing love, he still maintains that same regard for me. I'm not drawing parallels between my God and my Chewie (God forbid that!). What I'm saying is, despite my conditional praise and worship for God in my life (I pray when I need help, and sing His praises when I feel like it), God never despises that little I give Him. He always accepts it and He loves me unconditionally nonetheless.

Chewie fast asleep on my lap (Lap-Dog!!)

3. Because of the soft spot I have for Chewie in my heart. I always find it easy to forgive him when he misses the pee pad when he aims his pee, when he bites my toe or chews my mat, or when he knows he's pooped improperly and tries to cover that up by eating his poop (this is just a conjecture but you get the picture yah). And likewise the soft spot God has for each one of us makes it such that He'll always forgive us and love us the same even when we do things that hurt Him or make Him angry.

There's Chewie sitting in his toy dog position on the bathroom mat

4. Finally, sometimes it can seem that God's love appears conditional. When we worship Him with our lives, sometimes (not always of course) things are smooth; when we refuse to demolish the idols we set up for ourselves in our lives, things happen to make us go back to God. Such conditional-seeming favor is present to mold us. Remember God's motive is always to prosper us and not to destroy us. The same unconditional love I have for Chewie exists in spite of the conditional affection I shower him with.

Chewie fast asleep in his bed with his stuffed ring toy

Life is not the same with the pup. Especially with the first few months things get way out of hand. I wake prematurely, the cleaning at home becomes doubled, the distance I have to travel just to bring him for shots (that's a whole story altogether!), and of course the extra expenses I incur, all make me regret getting him at times. But the unconditional love he gives me and the same love I reciprocate makes these thoughts vanish and dissipate. And of course, the hope that this is just a phase helps me get by each day!