Commonality in Diversity

(extension of previous post)

I was watching the Tyra Banks Show on bleaching skin (perhaps it was shown today because of MJ's recent demise), and found the content very relevant to my previous blog post. Tyra was interviewing a group of African American women. One of them had really dark skin, which she dubbed "slave-black", and another 2 had skin that resembled that of caucasian women. They were at opposite ends of the spectrum. The dark-skinned lady was lamenting how she felt disadvantaged compared to the Black women with relatively whiter skin. The other 2 were relating past accounts of being ridiculed by their African American peers, and being checked as "White" by a police officer when booked for speeding. These ladies began to dispute about whose plight was more unfavorable, and finally Tyra tried to round up the conflict by getting them to think about their commonalities.

Apparently, some women in a bid to lighten their skin use bleach (those used for clothes!) on their faces and bodies. Others not only bleach their own skin, but also do it for their own children. Other than bleaching, some had contempt for their own hair texture; they found it of "lower class". Tyra also had her producer interview some young Black girls on TV and they all had something in common--a dislike for the typical coarse, fizzy Afro hair. It was so saddening hearing kids talked about being made fun of because of their hair. There was this one girl who said she thought people liked her better when she wears her Hannah Montana wig.

Though I'm not African American and will never be able to understand how they feel, I just felt so sad watching the program. There were obviously larger themes of stereotypes and stigma involved. Whether its actual or perceived, stigma has seeped into how people view themselves and choose to dissociate with their own heritage. Many are banking on Barack Obama's presidency to change such perceptions. Psychologists are trying to understand how his presidency has changed racial attitudes. The picture seems hopeful.

"What does a CEO, a president, and a goldfish have in common?"

This question was posed several weeks ago to the congregation at TSC by a visiting Pastor. Don't think too hard cos' this is no IQ question, neither is it some psychoanalytical question aimed at detecting some of your innermost desires and unconscious conflicts. Think abstract. Yes, they have to breathe to live, they need food to survive, yada, yada, yada. There's nothing shocking really in the answer. They all will face the ineluctable fate of death's grip over their lives.

The Pastor mentioned two points that stuck with me: 1) LIFE IS SHORT (and I'm sure all you oldies out there like myself can fully comprehend and appreciate this fact, as we start to disregard the need for candles on our cake during our special day every year, and notice the inches amassing at our waists!) 2) LIFE CAN BE WASTED. This second point struck me hard. It's bad enough that life is as fleeting as a vapor; worse still, one can look back and express regret over the lost time that can never be reclaimed.

One of my favorite songs in secondary school was this song by Joni Mitchell, "The Circle Game". I used to sing it when I was walking home along Old Holland Road, being extra careful to notice if there were people approaching me from behind (don't worry, I wasn't being hypervigilant or oversensitive about anything). I remember lowering my voice, or pretending to clear my throat, when people approached. I was pretty shy, you know. Anyway, I loved the chorus of this song:

And the seasons they go round and round,
And the painted ponies go up and down,
We're captives on the carousel of time,
We can't return we can only look behind from where we came,
And go round and round and round on the circle game.

Yep, we are captive to the eventual fate of turning to dust and ashes. This may sound moribund and bleak, but it's a truth that we need to resign to. Of course, if you're Christian (like how I am), you'll believe in an eternity that far outweighs the pleasures of life on earth. However, that doesn't mean that your stay on earth should lay to waste. As I look back on my life (I'm still fresh and in my prime, so no complaints!), I recall times when I wished time would just fly by, and other times when I wished that time would just freeze and God would allow me to revel in the state forever. Unfortunately, we're not a "Hiro Nakamura"; we don't have super powers to time travel or freeze time. Man hasn't evolved to a state where we are able to dictate which time periods to fast forward, and which to configure to a slow playback speed---in it's literal sense, that would be pretty hilarious.

Whatever it is the chilling thought that "LIFE CAN BE WASTED" spoke volumes to me that day, and it continues to do so. As I'm in the midst of my PhD applications and juggling research and coursework, I can't help but wonder where all these would eventually lead me to. It's exciting really and I'm glad for the doors the Lord had shut and opened. Yet my mind can't stop dwelling on the paradoxical fact of life: That most of us spend a huge portion of our lives striving hard just to enjoy a piece of respite amidst the labors of life, so that we can retire at 65 and pay our kids' college education, (and in America, pay off our mortgages). Perhaps then we can take our time to do everything we ever wanted...hopefully we still have that energy and zeal to do so.

Whenever I go on FB, I'm pretty consoled by the photos I see. Perhaps it's just how the yuppies of this generation are able to enjoy life and play hard a little more than the Baby Boomers. Posted photos consist of travel and food and fun and babes and sand and the sea. I guess we all need a little comfort amidst the stresses of life. But at the end of the day, how much of everyone's lives are meaningful, I wonder. In the first place, should that be some higher goal driving our lives, or are we supposed to just drink and make merry since life is short and we are bound to die anyway. Of course again, being Christian, I would take the former view.

The Perils of Living Under Someone Else's Roof!

It's been a while since I've blogged, so I thought I'd just shed the laziness and get back into business. Actually, the truth of the matter is, somehow I am now caught in a situation with too much time in my hands. This is weird because I've been super busy and my to-do list has been lengthening. But perhaps super-efficient me (as always...haha) has managed to complete everything I need to do for now. Or that's what I think... So what to do with too much time in my hands? Blog lor. 

This title came to me this morning not long after I woke up from bed. Don't worry, my landlady's not mistreating me, nor is she restricting me in any way. It's just that everyone living in my apartment shares one bathroom, and sometimes our needs arise at the same time (haha, sounds a little crude).  In the mornings I usually wake up with a full bladder and my first urge is to clear it. And this morning, there was nothing different. I wanted to pee but there was someone in the bathroom. So how? Ren(3) lor.

This little toilet crisis has happened to me several times already. I found myself having to hold my pee, and wait for whoever is inside to finish up whatever business in there. Hai, at home in Singapore I have my attached bathroom. And even if that was unavailable, we have four other bathrooms in our apartment! I miss my room :( and more so the luxury of not having to hold my pee in. It's so nice living in your own place and not having to worry about using the kitchen or lying on the couch in the living room...Can't wait to get my own place! Hopefully graduate housing with a studio apartment...

Notwithstanding, I'm still happy and consider myself blessed to be able to live where I am. At least, my heater's warm, and I don't have roommates who refuse (or pretend to not remember, or maybe genuinely forget--always give benefit of the doubt la-hor?) to wash the glasses in the sink. Speaking of heater, the weather's really getting harsh. The temperature's been dipping A LOT, to almost 0 degrees celsius! I'm starting to wear my down feather coat already. The one that makes me look like an Eskimo. Haha, the hyena fur gets into my eyes and the hood affects my peripheral vision (I really look like a duck when I try to look around before I cross the street lol), but it really keeps me warm. I'm so not looking forward to the Winter!! It's only Fall and it's so cold...I don't even think muggers would want to come out and mug people, unless they are absolutely desperate. I might need to get a pair of boots lined with fleece inside...excuse to shop heh. 

Okay, I'm losing my writer's flow. Gotta stop. Period. 

It's a November Sunday morning!

I woke up a little confused morning. Not that it was a Halloween hangover or something like that. Speaking of which, Halloween over here is a huge thing by the way. It was so amazing seeing adults and kids alike, so enthusiastic about getting costumes and dressing up. Till 7 p.m. on the night of October 31st, people were still walking into stores, trying to grab one for the event. It was spectacular and popular outfits this year were probably the Obama and Sarah Palin one's. I didn't notice any McCain ones, and we wonder why ;) Anyway, it was rather fascinating seeing different characters walking in the street; it really felt as though I was in some Hollywood film. There were kids carrying little pumpkins or goodie bags, going around trick or treating. We tried to catch for this annual parade, which is hugely participated and followed by people in NYC, but the enormity of the crowd that night was just a damper--being short among towering Americans wasn't helpful at the viewing of the parade which was something like our Chingay in Singapore, with floats and volunteers who dressed up and would like to join in the procession down 6th Ave from Spring Street to 14th Street. So we stayed for a while and left, but nonetheless, Halloween was an eye-opener. I had friends talking about what they'll costumes they'll be getting or dressing up in, a week before the actual event. Even my professor put on some crazy red horns and stuck a fake devil's tail at the back of his trousers for class on Friday. It was funny how he tried to use his tail as a pointer heh.

Anyway, back to the confusion this morning-Oh how I deviate a lot! Yeah, so there was supposed to be daylight savings last night. For those of us who live in Singapore and have never heard about it, it's simply everyone living in a certain region, in a unison effort to enjoy more daytime hours, setting their clock ahead by an hour near the start of spring so that we gain one more hour, and setting it back by an hour in autumn when night begins to fall earlier! Basically, it happens so that people can exploit the longer daylight hours in summer. But in close to winter, this is reversed because of reduced daylight. So the latter happened at 2 a.m. last night I think. So just to be sure, I woke up and immediately checked the world clock online. But I guess my confusion came from the fact that everything seems fine: my cell phone clock and Macbook clock all matched the world clock timing. So it seems strange that the transition was seamless, and everything automatically switched. I thought everyone had to manually do these things. Oh well, thank God for the smooth transition. Now we are officially, 13 hours behind Singapore. Okay, I think it's time to go to church now. Better stop babbling here. Period.

Just being random: Unpacking my dream content...

It's 6.20 a.m. here in the morning and I just woke up from a dream--haha, don't worry not a nightmare! It was bizarre yet I was able to make sense out of it. And amazing cos' I actually remember it quite vividly. It feels like I'm in one of those experiments where they get you to sleep in the lab, very uncomfortably linked to EEG machines so that they can measure the brain activity going on as you shift through various stages of sleep, and then they wake you up at a certain point and get you to relate whatever dream content that you just experienced in your sleep. I suppose that's the only way to preserve memories of dreams--to wake you and record it immediately. 

The dream made sense to me because I see many elements of it comprise thoughts that ran through my mind in the preceding day. Somewhat a manifestation of the Activation-Synthesis Theory regarding dreams that I learnt in my Psych 101 text--I really liked the chapter on dreams; it was fascinating how Freud purported that specific images in your dream (e.g., a horse) reflected certain unwanted contents (e.g., a horse would symbolize sex) that were anxiety-provoking if they found their way constantly into your conscious mind and a defense mechanism that your brain employed was to repress it (that's when it could potentially seep into your dreams). Ha Ha, I don't buy that, but I do admire his creativity and how perceptive he is as a psychotherapist. Despite his controversies, I think he is a brilliant psychologist who was very much influenced by the cultures of his time. 

The Activation-Synthesis Theory, which appears to be more scientific, seems to hold a premise that sounds suspiciously similar to what we say in Mandarin about "ri you suo xi, ye you suo meng" (idioms possess a lot of investigative value in the social sciences realm haha). Basically, scientists noticed that the brain discharges some electrical activity in the night as one sleeps, and it appears to be very random. And one theory says that it could be processing and rearranging the thought material located in the different areas in our brain. It's interesting because there are various sensing organs located in your brain and sometimes when you perceive something in your sleep (e.g., you are falling down a great height), I think (and I emphasize that this is my presumption) that the vestibular area in the brain stem that is responsible for the function of coordination and balance is activated in your sleep. It's been a while since I took Psych 101 so everything I'm espousing now is really based on my memory of what I learnt from Zimbardo (not the man himself--I wish--just the textbook he edited). But I did read it back forth several times!

Oh man, how did I get into such a long discourse about my sleep? I think I really need to put a disclaimer in my posting title. This is really very random stuff. Okay, so here goes the dream (which I must clarify should not be interpreted as having any particular meaning--it's just a mishmash of various things, both important and inconsequential, that probably went through my mind recently). 

So the context of the dream goes like this. I got into a police car (I think it should be a Singapore one--haha, if you didn't know where I used to work you would probably think I was arrested for something), and this may sound a bit moribund but it felt as though there was something to be mourned for (again, this is not prophetic, just a meaningless jumble of stuff). Obviously, someone I know, who is a cop-friend of mine (which I'm not going to reveal cos' I wanna leave you guessing haha), was driving the car. In my hand was a bunch of weed-like plants that I must have plucked from somewhere before I left. As we drove (I think it was day before it gradually became night), I opened the window to the police car (haha, I'll never be able to do what I did in reality--neither can anyone else!) and started to dump the weeds a couple at a time into a plot of the same kind of weed or grass that ran along the road that we were traveling along. The plot was sloping towards my direction so as I threw subsets of what I gathered earlier onto the plot, I could give a quick glance of the weeds that I flung lying there on the ground--the car was traveling slow enough. 

It gradually became dark and apparently the bunch of weeds that I gathered had some kind of flies residing in it and I kinda released the flies into the police car (this is when it starts to take on a movie-like quality haha--I can even remember what the flies resemble!). I was horrified cos' this is not something you want to happen when you are sitting in someone else's car, and your own of course, but this was a police car! Worse, the flies began to emit some substance that solidified into something that looked like a slice of desiccated beehive that was the size of a pencil-case. But somehow I was quite certain that it was made of cinnamon. And they just started multiplying and flying around in the car with that thing attached to them. I began to shoo them out of the window or swat them in the car. Some were smashed against the window and that was a gross sight which I shan't describe. I remember being very apologetic throughout and my friend was very kind in assuring me. We were driving along the PIE towards Bukit Batok then. 

Just when we managed to kill or release all the flies that arose, new ones that were more ferocious appeared (they didn't have funny faces or stings, they just looked like some kind of ordinary flies with nice, leaf-shaped wings). And they multiplied again and we resumed the shooing and swatting. There were some other details that I can't recall now. Soon after, the dream just ended and I woke up peacefully from my sleep. 

As I reflect on that dream, I recognize some elements which were things that either went through my mind very briefly, or were talked about in the day before. The cinnamon part must have came about because I've been eating some apple cinnamon cereal bars recently. The flies probably came about because my prof was talking about mosquitoes and how they transmit Malaria during one of my classes. The police car might have came about because I was telling some new people I met yesterday about my previous job and I clearly remembered thinking about a police car when I gave my reply. And just to wrap it up, I was reading my textbook on PTSD and here was this section on how they measured brain waves in sleep and compared this outcome between combat veterans stricken with PTSD and their healthy counterparts. Ha Ha, psychologists are always so inclined to analyze what they experience...and that's how they derive hypotheses and design good research studies to support their conjectures. 

It's 7.30 am now. Time to stop and decide whether I should go back to bed. The weather in NYC took a drastic change and now its getting really cold. Time to bring out all the sweaters and coats!

~Ciao

Showers in the Big Apple today because of Hanna...

Tropical storm Hanna headed to the US East Coast this Saturday. There were no hurricanes in NYC, just heavy rainfall throughout the evening. Hanna came after Hurricane Gustav, and now the meteorological experts are predicting a new one, Hurricane Ike, to be hitting Florida soon. Can you believe that? Sunny Florida? 

The rain was messy and wet and icky. All the news stations were unanimous in their weather forecast for today, but we still moved forward with our plan to check out Fifth Ave. Haha, to our dismay, it was a horrible experience! Though it was a good break from the summer heat...

Rainy days here aren't like those in Singapore. NYC streets aren't as evenly paved as those at home--LTA has done a good job with our roads. There were tons of puddles--real huge ones--that lined up the streets. And if you weren't alert and stood at the sidewalk just by the street, you could get yourself seriously drenched. Vehicles here don't give a hoot. They just speed by real quick despite the risk of skidding on the streets. 

Fifth Avenue is famous for its designer stores and boutiques that are sprawled over the whole area. So there wasn't any large mall for us to roam about and wait for the nasty rains to stop pouring. So we walked about in the rain, each carrying our own tiny umbrellas that weren't very helpful. And we didn't have the least idea where different stores were located, so we walked on and on in the rain till we found something that piqued out interest. 

We went into Sak's Fifth Avenue--everything in there is way too ostentatious! It is a branded goods haven, so we couldn't afford anything. Then we popped into Abercrombie and Fitch, and there was this half-naked male model clad only in a pair of jeans, who was standing by the door. The store was really dim and music was blasting throughout as though they were trying to create this hip atmosphere! But the clothes were nice; I would probably go back when I feel like spending money. Next stop, we went to Niketown. Ha ha, there were four levels of Nike apparel, which was kinda neat but nothing spectacular. At least the store was spacious and not so cramped like A&F, which seemed like a crowded fraternity house!

Anyway, time for me to create a wish list. To survive the winter and harsh rainfall of NYC, I would probably need these:

1. A pair of rubber boots, Paddington Bear-style to keep my feet dry.

2. A pair of flat and presentable boots to keep my feet warm in winter.

3. A few scarves to protect my neck from the chilly winds.

4. Leather gloves to keep my hands warm in winter.

Autumn is coming soon in a few weeks and I would need these soon. An excuse to go shopping soon!

I ate a cinnamon scone that rolled on the ground!

Ha ha, how's that for a title? Nope, didn't make it up :) The plastic wrapper holding my cinnamon sugar scone fell out of my palm and onto the ground just outside my building. The next moment, I found myself chasing it like a cat after a mouse as it rolled around the floor. At that point, it didn't seem at all funny. But in retrospect, it was a theatrical sight. And rather hilarious. It was a Thursday afternoon. I was heading back to the apartment, struggling to hold onto everything including my wallet, my lunch, some napkins, and my half-a-cup of UN-hot chocolate (ha ha, that's a different story altogether--my order wasn't even a cinnamon sugar scone!). Just as I turned the key in the lock at the gate, this lady with her 18-month-old in a stroller appeared just behind me. Out of courtesy I tried to hold the door for her. Because I did, I had to rearrange everything in my palms...and then it happened--after I closed the gate. The scone dropped out of my hands, leaving the three of us--me, the mother and her 18-month old daughter--watching helplessly as it did a somersault and a series of forward rolls on the concrete ground just outside my apartment. Strangest thing was, I wasn't very much upset. It would be a lie to say that I wasn't the least bit saddened by its loss. But the thought in my mind was simply: "Who cares? I'll just eat it anyway." And I sure did. The ground seemed rather clean and the 30-second disaster didn't leave any signs of damage or dirt on the scone. So I ate it! :) I'm in New York and food is expensive! Besides, it wasn't so great-tasting anyway, so the little incident didn't ruin any special taste it had. As for the little ordering fiasco...Well, just let me put it this way. The guy who served me was a newbie on his first day of work at this mini cafe which is situated just a few steps away from my apartment building. I asked for a current (as in raisin) scone and he wrapped a cinnamon one for me. I asked for a steamed milk (nope he didn't give me a hot chocolate because he was blur blur), he told me it was out. So I changed my order to a hot chocolate, but being unfamiliar with the machine, he gave me one with three-fifths froth and two-fifths of room-temperature chocolate drink(?) Well, I didn't want to be difficult so I took the cup and added skim milk available at the counter to top it up. I knew it the moment I held the cup though it was covered; it was super light!!

The moral of the story?? I'm sure you can come up with many! I'll leave it up to you. Just wanted to blog about something light-hearted and funny (hopefully it made you smile :)). I've had a hectic week, except for Thursday when I spent the entire day on my Macbook surfing PsycINFO, and trying to derive an earth-breaking research idea (which I did not, of course). Classes have started and I'm getting busier. Ha Ha, busy getting lost like a mouse in a maze in Teachers College (actually that's a wrong metaphor to use cos' mice always seem to get out real quick because of the biological GPS system programmed in their seemingly tiny brain matter). This happened to me twice today. On the second time, my friends and I were extremely near the destination, but we derailed and ended up elsewhere only to find no one in the seminar room because the class was actually somewhere else...that was my fault, I gave them the wrong classroom (technically, I wasn't the culprit bringing us on the unneeded tour five minutes before the seminar!). The four of us who got lost together--one African American babe, half-Mexican dude, extremely tall British stud, and me, the stereotypically-petite Asian girl--should start a FB group: "If you ever got lost in TC during your first semester or still do"

What else can I update you about? School's busy and I've been pity-partying again. Citibank drove me crazy today. I was sent on a wild goose hunt because I had problems with my bank account and my tuition fees were due today! Not going to gripe about it over here. But for those of you who aren't so crazy about Singapore and are dying to get out, be prepared for less-than-efficient services overseas. We do have high service quality standards in Singapore u'know. So appreciate it. Amidst the pity-partying, there was learned helplessness. I changed my stance midway through the craziness. I prayed, "Lord, if this is going to mold me and make a stronger, fitter and better person, please give me more trials and problems." Ha ha, call it resignation, but it just makes sense to me. Why bother myself with frustration when it doesn't help? I just formulated a theory (which I haven't tested out of course; just pure speculation now). If Prof Barbara Fredrickson from U Michigan theorized that positive emotions broaden your mind intellectually and named this the "Broadening and Building" theory, then I could come up with something complementary to her theory and name it the "Constricting and Corroding" theory. 

Negative emotions like self-pity constrict and corrode intellectual thought. They erode mental resources and narrow the span of solutions one can derive. An overwhelming dose of negative emotion reduces one's rationality. 

How's that for a theory? Ha ha, the editors of JPSP probably won't buy that! Hee, now is N = 1. Wait till I design an experiment. Please don't take it for real now. I just came up with it. Maybe others have done it so take their word instead of mine. 

That's it folks! Gotta do my work and ace the courses! God bless.

Oh Beautiful Sunday!

I ought to blog about yesterday simply because I felt great about it. And simply because it felt great to go to church and worship the Lord! And also because I experienced something which I haven't felt in a long while--productivity.

We went to Times Square Church in the morning. The church had bought over this old and intricately-designed but well-kept theatre off Broadway (at least it didn't have any musty smell and the seats were not Hole-y!), and converted it into a sanctuary for believers from different denominations to come and worship the Lord. There were throngs of people streaming into the church. Apparently, the church, located in the heart of Manhattan (Duh! The name of the church explains itself yah), is home to approximately 8000 members. There were people from different ethnic groups swarming the church. It was a beautiful sight seeing African Americans, Caucasians, Hispanics and Asians (I hope I didn't leave anyone out) forming this multiracial congregation and praising the Lord in one accord. It was a breath-taking sight!! Perhaps this is what Heaven will be like! 

When service started, the curtains were drawn and this massive choir appeared before us. It comprised people of different races, but predominantly Black and Caucasian, with a few Asians among them. For the whole time, the worship leader led while playing the piano. His voice was good, but what amazed me more was his style of singing. Haha, he was African American so it was very gospel and very spontaneous. He would begin each song and the choir would just join him once he gave the cue. And the way he sang certain songs (and my, they were really old songs; 1990s, 1960s, 1950s and one from 18th century!)....woah!!! I wish I could describe it but you really have to experience it for yourself. Like the song "Righteousness, Peace and Joy" from Integrity music, he began singing it very playfully and out-of-sync with the original melody but it sounded entertaining and mellifluous. I liked it! And for many songs, they just went on and on repeating the choruses in a way that didn't sound at all draggy. You would feel the music just rising up within you and you would end up singing with more and more gusto. I really enjoyed myself. I could just sway, dance and clap. It was really joyful worship!

Haha I could go on and on about worship but I shan't. You really need to be there to fully comprehend and experience what I'm getting at. Some of you are probably very envious right now...heh. I hope to join the choir in the near future and sing Black gospel style. That'll be so cool and I'll be so glad! As for the rest of the service, the Senior Pastor gave a sermon on "Pentecost went outside" (you can find it at this website: http://www.tscnyc.org/sermons.php?hl=1094). He spoke about how our practice of Christianity should model that which transpired 2000 years ago during Pentecost when spirit-filled people just took to the streets prophesying and speaking about Jesus. In essence, he was encouraging believers to allow their lives to be a living testimony of the Word of God, and not to be closet Christians. 

After service, we met up with someone to buy stuff, and to me it was pleasant. It is nice being in the company of someone else rather than simply the two of us all the time. After shopping, we parted ways with our friend, and walked down 50 streets!!! Ha ha we just walked and walked and walked. Halfway we stopped to grab a bite...then we continued. And then we thought, maybe I should get some shoes. So we walked down Broadway and found a couple of shoe stores. I settled on a pair from Aldo, a good pair of walking shoes which cost me USD 70. I think it was a good buy (or at least it serves me well to think that way since I spent that amount on it, which is not too bad actually...heh, I'm doing the self assurance thing again). And before you know it, we were approximately 20 streets from campus? And so, we thought we'll just walk all the way back. Hee that's how we ended up walking 50 over streets...the weather here is fine for walking though it can get a little hot because of the sun. And there are so many stores, you can just pop in to check out stuff you need. Or you can just go into any Starbucks along the way to have a cuppa--every couple of streets there will be one!!! They have even more outlets along Broadway than McDonald's has. It finally dawned upon me why everyone walking in the streets wore flats. I was wearing a pair of heels before I bought that pair of shoes from Aldo! What was I thinking??!!

That night, we met up with one of Rachel's ex-interns at her workplace, Ted, for dinner--a fellow Singaporean studying in Columbia. Again, it was nice being in the company of another, especially someone you feel totally comfortable with speaking your own native accent. We had Cuban food at this place called Havanna Central. After the usual introductions, our conversation revolved around New York culture, Americans, and heh the food places around Columbia, those worth trying and those that you wouldn't want to spend your money on. After dinner, the three of us walked down Broadway for a while before we went back to our apartments. And then I went back to my room to skype with my parents. 

Orientation starts tomorrow!!! And classes start this week. I'm looking forward to studying again and hopefully doing some research soon. And meeting new people!!! Hopefully I will step out and not be a social hermit. Haha, took the MBTI personality test and realized I've become an "I" (Introvert), and have relinquished my "E" (Extravert) self from almost a decade ago. Last time I did that test was probably before or during 1998!

Laundry virgin no more!!!

~Idiots-guide to doing your laundry in America~

Today, I did my laundry for the first time here in NYC. I felt like a fish out of water! For your info, Americans do their laundry very differently from how Singaporeans do. For one, they don't hang their clothes out to dry like how Heartlanders in Singapore do by hanging them on bamboo poles stuck through little pods outside their HDB windows. Americans dry their clothes and fabrics using huge dryer machines in a laundry room. Okay, let me backtrack a little. I'm sure some of you are familiar with how they do laundry here, but for the benefit of those who don't, please be patient while I explain the process. 

Firstly, you gather all your clothes in a laundry hamper that looks like this (hee, this is mine...super bo liao of me to snap a photo of it):

Alternatively, you can put them in a laundry bag that resembles one of those drawstring nylon bags. According to Mrs Shin, my landlady, the laundry hampers are very popular here. Some of them I found in the store have sorters (basically different compartments) for you to put your whites, colors, delicates, etc. separately. Some are more elaborate or made of tougher fabric. 

Next, you take your laundry to a laundry room. Most apartment buildings should have such facilities in their basements. If not, there are public ones, or laundry services available. The basement in my building has a laundry room, and in that room there are several washing machines, dryers, and laundry carts for you to put your laundry bags/hampers in. 

You can't use the machines for free; they require some form of payment. At UCLA, where I did my student exchange, I had to slot four quarters (that's 1 US dollar) into the washing machines at my dorm, each time to be able to use them. Back then, I always had to save my quarters (coins approximately the same size as Singapore's 20-cent coin that is equivalent to USD 25-cents) so that I had enough of them to do my laundry. Over here, I use a card with a magnetic strip that can be topped up. And each time I want to use the machine or dryer, I have to slot the card into the card-reader. Each washing cycle costs me USD 1.25, and if you want a super cycle (which I have no idea what the different is!) it costs 50 cents more. Each drying cycle costs 50 cents. If you are obsessive-compulsive about separating whites from colors, and delicates from non-delicates, etc., you might want to put them in different machines, and that means more money!! Looks like I'll be thinking twice about the clothes I buy and wear from now on. 

After loading the machine and making your payment, you select the time of washing you want (they have different settings for whites, etc.). And walah! Just wait for close to half an hour for your clothes to be done, come back and load them into the dryer. The dryer has its own settings for the amount of heat you want (i.e. high, medium, and low). It will spin for 15 minutes. And most of the time, your clothes will still be a little damp like how mine were today. You can choose to dry them in the dryer for a longer time or hang them up to dry naturally like how I did cos' I didn't wanna pay additional cost! 

Okay, this sounds like a boring thread. Sorry folks, running out of topics I guess. But this was something I found interesting. According to Mrs Shin, Korea is pretty similar to Singapore in that families own their own washing machines and hang out their clothes to dry. Haha, things are really different on this side of the world, even day-to-day washing can be so disparate! I really miss the convenience of using a washing machine in Singapore. Back home, I can just dump my clothes into my washing machine without paying a cent, and hang them to dry on bamboo pools when they're done. And most of all, back home I have my mum!!!! Haha...

There's no moral of the story attached to this posting. At least I can't find one for now. But all I can say is things are real different and it takes a little getting used to. I guess it's fun discovering new things and trying out stuff. And it probably helps me cultivate a form of independence I don't develop in Singapore. 

WHOA! What's DISNEY doin' to kids these days?!

Beware: The following thread may sound a little gossipy and angry heh (Just allow me this once yah?)

Again, something I wanted to post a while back. Was aghast and horrified last week by something I viewed online. Okay, I did not chance upon a sexy, raunchy website--for those of you who are letting your thoughts do wild in all directions. I know my nick is SC (I'm not going to say what it means. Some of you are definitely know). 

I was really bored one night. I was so bored that I was driven to surf CNN's website--I'm not as intellectual as I seem; I don't read scholarly journals and TIME mag for leisure (: So I started viewing a string of videos and it was kinda like a loop. So there was this video that came on entitled "Too Sexy, Too Soon" that caught my attention, of course. I mean, truly in this day and age, sex sells. Perhaps (in general, no implication that these represent my thoughts) repressed thoughts expressed aloud seem to generate more attention. Sounds Freudian huh.

This video made my hair stand and sent chills down my spine cos' I was taken aback at what appeared to be rather distasteful advertisements, when they presented poster ads of the popular hit series "Gossip Girl" in the clip. The ads were sexually explicit, provocative, and absolutely parent-repelling/revolting (whatever...). Immediately, it struck me that some of the teens in my youth group were watching this program. Whoa!! 

According to the CNN presenter, the producers of "Gossip Girl" defended their deed, stating that the show targets a television audience of mature, young adults and mainly women in their 30s. However, TV stats show that the bulk of people religiously tuning in to "Gossip Girl" were in fact adolescents. Unethical? Licentious? Unconscionable? Debase? Unscrupulous? Improper? Hmmph! Just venting...but that's Hollywood for you. 

Well, the fault's not totally on them I guess--I must be fair. Society has progressed (or degenerated rather). Debauchery, promiscuity, pervasion, vice, etc. are promoted on all fronts. Forgive me if I sound like a straitlaced, prissy and prudish doctrinaire ( I love using all my GRE words! Never get to use them in scholarly articles and you wonder why they make you master these words?!). I'm not going to do the final judgment but it's just kinda scary cos' we are human and we are not entirely impervious or immune to attacks from all sides and corners. 

Another headliner stealer is Hollywood sweetheart turned Hannah Montana Monster, Miley Cyrus. She's the new addition to disney darlings gone wild (of course, the most distinct one being Britney Spears). Talks are flying about the young lady leaving the hit series. Everyone in the entertainment scene is now debating whether Hollywood has been pushing young starlets to fill the role of sexy sex sirens too soon. There is some truth to it I suppose. It's to do mostly with the pervasive culture and profiteering mindset in the entertainment industry. But that's not to say that what TV portrays has a huge dose of reality in it, and even have it exaggerated manifold for dramatic effect, thus perpetuating such images and lifestyles. And hence, spawning a vicious cycle that spirals exponentially. 

Not defending Hollywood but also accountable for Miley's plight could be her parents. Newfound fame and accompanying power can always stir irrationality. Be it encouraging her to be fully initiated into the unhealthy Hollywood lifestyle, or being negligent in reining her in and protecting her from the unwholesomeness., I believe they are to a large extent responsible for her situation. Come on, would you allow your fifteen-year-old to pose nude (okay, semi-nude, with only a cloth over her frontal body) on Vanity Fair?! And the suggestive scene between she and her dad...hmm...I'm not going to think of me doing it. Okay, maybe I'm like everyone else who is reading too much into that particular sight.

Anyway, there's no way to stop teens from watching and learning vicariously from such shows. Nor is it going to help you score points with your kids for banning then from watching TV. They still need to go out and school ain't going to stop (kids, don't raise your hopes on that and get excited over that possibility; it's nil). They are bound to see adverts and other materials online; they are certain to discuss related issues or come across them in school. The best way is to bring your children up in a manner that builds trust and is based on strong principles that you adhere to as a parent. With that relationship, you can steer them on the right track. Young people are definitely curious about sexuality and other stuff, and rather than making it forbidden fruit and taboo, sometimes it's better to lay it out in the open (of course, not allowing them to experiment, but rather educating them about these things--ok educating sounds a little top-down, which may be necessary but more like a sharing of life experiences and beliefs will do). Yikes, I'm going back to the psychology Q&A track...wasn't intending to sound preachy again.

Anyway, everything's not all bad. There are good teen models in Hollywood. Amanda Bynes? Nicky Blonsky (the cute, plump leading lady from Hairspray. She is talented and not the typical emaciated teenage girl)? They could lead the way for many young girls around the world, yah. I like Nicky. She makes me feel that I don't have to be slim to be pretty. Okay not going into a huge discourse on that for now--evolutionary psychology 101, why do males like females of a certain set of body stats. 

Okay, enuff said. I have rest my case. My bottomline concern is that teens fall captive to the promotion of negative values. Your parents, teachers, church elders, counselors, etc. aren't going to be there all the time, so young people, you gotta make decisions independently increasingly as you grow older. So get the flak or be criticized like Miley for such demeanor? Well, that's punishment by society. Or allow your conscience, beliefs, God to lead the way? Tsk tsk. So many things to think about as a teen. Thank God, I've moved on--more financial freedom and in the prime of my life--no kids, no house mortgage to pay!

Just Musings...

So much has happened recently. Not so much in my life exactly (sorry to those who are expecting exciting life accounts, but my life is kinda boring at the moment), but rather in the world around us. Yes, most of you will probably guess easily that I'm talking about the twin tragedies in Asia--the Sichuan earthquake and the Cyclone Nargis that hit Myanmar. Amidst these, everyone's talking about rising fuel and food prices. In neighboring Indonesia, civilians have taken to the streets to protest the escalating fuel prices, hurling molotov cocktails at police officers and being subdued with pepper spray. American Idol season 7 just crowned David Cook as their latest winner...(okay just to point out the diverse things happening in the world...not that it's a major upset--I like the fella). 

Seeing images of people devastated by the catastrophes has brought me to tears. I'm really a crybaby at heart. Cast aside that confident and poised facade, and you'll see a very vulnerable me. I read the newspapers, and tears can just well in my eyes. When the twin towers were struck in the 911 incident and CNA kept screening the clips round-the-clock, I seemed as though I was on some korean drama marathon, one of those "Winter Sonata-Stairway to Heaven" ones of course, for the subsequent weeks. Not going to start about the time when SQ06 crashed in Taiwan...

As people from all nations rally around the bereaved and help in efforts to reconstruct the country and mend the broken hearts, the resiliency among the adversity is simply remarkable. Grieving is normal in the first instance, but ultimately, most cope, adapt and pick themselves up. You see people who have lost loved ones step up to tend to other survivors--for example, the Chinese female police officer who is nursing several children who had lost their mums. The altruism is equally amazing. Of course, there are many people who don't give a hoot about these things. We can't really blame them cos' these may be of remote significance to them--these events happened thousand of miles away from us--and imagine if we were to be so affected by everything that happens in the world...we'll be crushed every time something major strikes the world. Life still goes on and people need to function per normal. Nonetheless, events like these present a strong reminder that life is uncertain and fragile for that matter. Our country is fortunate to be buffered from natural disasters, but accidents or illness can happen to anyone of us. Life is like a vapor, transient and fleeting. But in our short lifespan on earth, it would be ideal to savor every moment and enjoy the gifts of family and friends. Events such as these serve grave reminders to the father that returns home from work every night to a sleeping household, the overachiever that spends more time socializing with his computer at work then his parents at home, the online junkie that lives his entire life virtually (no pun intended) in the Cyberworld (all references are not specific to the male species of course).

The ironic thing about humans is that we know what is good for us, we know what we should do, but our human flesh always wrestles with our will and wins. It takes major crises that are personal to us to jolt us to our senses. Sometimes, it may be too late. Lost time can't be reclaimed. Sometimes, learning doesn't last; as memories of these incidents fade overtime, we return to our baseline. Unrealistic optimism and complacency seem to reign in our human faculties. Psychologists study these and related fallacies that humans commit. We aren't as logical as we think. We minimize possibilities of mishaps and failures. But that's who we are! And it helps us cope with things in life. These human adaptations, as evolutionary psychologists term them, perhaps enable us to cope with the uncertainties in life and instills in us hope. We all need hope to function, don't we? In my opinion, both our logic and the lack of it makes us totally human. That's why we are so unpredictable at times and the social sciences are not as straightforward as the natural sciences because of this. 

Through all these, my awe for God has augmented. He has created such interesting creatures--humans are fascinating. I guess that's why psychology is such a captivating field. In our frail humanity, we can be resilient. Despite circumstances, we can forge ahead in our lives. In spite of our weaknesses, He can help us triumph over overwhelming situations and formidable obstacles and He delights in doing so. Just like how He helped David defeat Goliath, His divine power equips us with the means to overcome whatever adversity comes our way. Just like how we are thrilled seeing a dark horse win a competition, because it gives us the hope that we too can be like that person. In addition, intelligent as we may be, we are often illogical. We knowingly do what we know may not be good for us. Many times we know what we need to do, but we refuse to do it even though it may be best for us to do so. Sometimes, we allow human emotions to cloud our logic or trade away our values to enjoy a moment of rebellion that will cost severely. Our incredibly human nature contrasts starkly God's truly divine, supernatural and supreme nature, doesn't it?

Okay, I've emptied my thoughts and its time to stop. But let me end with this quote--my fave one for now. From 2 Corinthians 12: 9,

But He said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that 

Christ's power may rest on me. 

It reminds me that I am weak, but I need not worry and instead should delight in it because I can give Him the due credit when I succeed and His glory will be revealed through me. My weakness make me rely on Him. In the uncertainty, I can rest on the firm foundation of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. 

An Art Lesson...

Nope, I'm not taking art lessons at the moment. Neither do I think I have a gift in this area, though all my immediate family members seem to be able to draw something more than decent that could be placed on display in a fancy store in Manhattan. Tonight I went to an art exhibition at St Mary's (a church my parents attend regularly), and became a fan and advocate of art therapy. For the past year or so, my mum had been joining this art therapy class at her church and four of her masterpieces were being celebrated tonight.

The reception for tonight's event looked dashing, the lighting was pretty and the place looked absolutely classy. Well of course, given that this is a church that has won several awards and has been featured on the Straits Times for its stellar architecture. I went there with my dad, clueless about what to expect. But what I took home was more than the beautiful sight and wonderful art pieces (and not forgetting the exquisite and lovely finger food!). 

The evening was kick-started and set into motion by Joanna, the art therapist, who gave a quick, bite-sized intro into Art Therapy 101. As a psychology grad, and someone who is really into clinical work and therapy, I always felt that art therapy was a great way to express one's inner emotions and to discover one's innermost thoughts. However, tonight I learnt something new about this form of therapy. Joanna mentioned how members who joined the class were taught to withhold all judgment and suspend all criticism, especially on themselves as they learnt to draw and paint. It reminded me of how frustrated I used to get in art class when the apple I drew just wasn't the perfect one I envisioned in my mind, and how perfectionist and demanding we can sometimes be on ourselves. The culture that was nurtured in the class, one that allowed little flaws and imperfections to shine, reminded me of how God's glory is often made perfect in our weaknesses. We go through life yoking ourselves to the expectations we import from the world and that gives our self esteem a huge beating very often. As I reflected on what was shared and the testimonies given about the supportive environment in the classroom, I realized how therapeutic art therapy can be. Everything is individual and each piece has its own distinctive identity and meaning that captured a snapshot of the sacred place that God brought each artist into when He inspired them to craft these wonderful pictures. Each week as their skills improved, I'm sure their confidence augmented. It's amazing how God can minister to a person and how he or she can testify about it through his or her art piece. 

As I stepped into the exhibition room, I was marveled by the awesome use of colors and brilliant drawings on the canvases hung on the walls. I began to read some write-ups that explained how the artist got his or her inspiration. I really felt ministered by God as I read the learning lessons people gleaned as they painted. However, when I laid my eye on the one my mum painted without knowing she was the one responsible for that beautiful piece of art, I felt especially poignant. It was a gorgeous piece that won many compliments for its realism and intricacies. Unfortunately, someone purchased or I might (well might only cos' I am feeling rather poor now) have bought it. When I read her write-up, I was extremely touched and I felt the tears welling in my eyes. Her reflections were very insightful and I was so proud of how she had experienced God in such a personal way. I've got so much to be proud of about my mum; she is fantastic in art, at organizing one thousand and one things, and wonderful at packing my luggage (she sure can squeeze many things into tiny spaces)! I really hope that she can continue to grow in the Lord and continue to pursue Him through art.

After being ministered by the masterpieces at the exhibition, my dad and I walked out of the church without making any purchases. I guess we are too thick-skinned to feel bad about enjoying the art without paying any price. Anyways, I asked my dad whether he could draw after hesitating for a while (we hardly converse casually unless its at a special dinner or something). And finally when I summoned the courage to ask him, he shared how he actually corrected some of my mum's drawings- some ducks-because (and this is according to him) she wasn't adept at capturing proportions of life forms. He told me how he used to be the Art director (or editor, I can't remember now) of his pre-u magazine, and how he won an art competition when he was young. As he spoke of all this, I felt that I was really getting to know him more and more, and I felt so drawn to his stories. He went on about how he liked to draw animals and he was the only one at home who had the artistic flair. Next, he shared about this famous Singaporean artist (Chen Wen Xi or something like that) who died, how his paintings became valuable, how he was known for drawing gibbons, and how he would draw them in all sorts of positions with his trademark strokes and use of signature smudges. My dad was telling me of his visits to Bukit Timah Hill and how he found some monkeys very cute--they were in all sorts of positions (please don't think dirty hor!). He wanted to take some photos and draw these monkeys at home according to those photos and develop his own style of painting monkeys. These were little snippets of my dad I wouldn't have known if I never asked.

One last thing that I would like to add is my own reflection on tonight's event. All the nice paintings I saw bowled me over, and I just saw the awareness and mindfulness of the people who created these paintings. It took tremendous patience to complete each piece. And the question I had was: how many people would slow down nowadays in the hurried pace of life to admire a painting or take in a breathtaking sight? Do we, who are so busy reacting to the stimulation we receive from the hustle and bustle of society, cherish the moment or savor the beauty of God's creation in our everyday life? In those days, when there wasn't PSP or DS Lite, kids would spend more time on the drawing board, developing a keen sensitivity to their surrounding in the process (not saying that they don't nowadays, just less). Now we rather type then pick up a pencil, or click on some keyboard rather than color with a crayon....well, just some thoughts (not verified through any experiment whatsoever--psychologists are just so empirical!).

I wish I had the talent to draw or paint. My parents have it. Guess it all went to my sis who is now studying architecture. Anyway, God is fair in dishing out all talents to people. For one, I can sing better than any of them (heh, no hard feelings ya). Anyways, art therapy seems great and I really hope to use it in the future if I do practice clin psych.  

 

Fin

 

Escapism in the modern world

How many times have you found yourself retreating into your Nokia 6100 just to evade the need to come up with something creative to PR with someone, or to avoid looking stupid at a party where you hardly know anyone? Unless you are Amish or you've never owned a computer in your entire life, I'm pretty sure that sometime or another you would have done that.  I mean, who wouldn't agree that it's better to look busy and engaged, rather than to appear like a socially-awkward loser. It's such a convenient escape!

Survey the surrounding when you take the bus or sit in the MRT cabin, and you'll find that it's not hard to spot someone plugged into something, whether it's a IPod Shuffle or a Blue tooth hands free. Sometimes in the mornings when I manage to squeeze up the bus, I can easily pick out six people with earphones in their ears. And now I'm one of them (just joined the community with my rather new IPod Nano), and I'm so addicted to my mini jukebox too!

I was almost pressed against the window of the MRT train this afternoon as I was going back to the office from lunch (don't ask me what time was that though, everyone was rushing back to work). And as I was trying to find my balance in the area near the door. Beside me was this rather elderly lady leaning on the glass panel, who was peering into my IPod Nano as I adjusted some setting. Somehow I felt like I was being observed and I stole a quick glance at her intrigued expression. And I wondered how the elderly feel in today's society where everyone's so preoccupied with the latest handphones and electronic devices. It's so difficult not to notice this new phenomenon. Do they feel alienated from the younger generations whose conversations hardly deviate from computer jargon and the latest electronic deals? How do they feel having to learn how to use PDAs to take orders, if they wanted to work at MacDonalds? This related to the whole movement to encourage lifelong employment? Just musing over this; don't mind the digression.

Whatever it is, technology is such an amazing thing. Such ambivalence I have towards it; to like or not to like? On one hand, I see it happening already. People hibernating online (or rather in their rooms, on the computer) because they are bored and have nothing to do. We have become such sticklers for constant stimulation. We end up seeking it in places which causes us to lose touch with the soft skills of communicating with people face-to-face. We retreat into our mobile phones just like how a child refuses to go to school because he hasn't done his homework. After a while the lack of practice may degrade into reclusiveness and social anxiety. Of course I refer to extreme cases where one's only friend is either a "Rock" named Joe (no offense to people called Joe or have Jo in their names--my dad's Jo too!), or have a virtual girlfriend named Zoe (no offense to fans of Zoe Tay either; it's just a random name from my brain). 

On the other hand, I'm so enamored by things like Facebook, and of course, my latest MAC Notebook!!! Online messengers and communication tools have the ability to connect you to your long-lost primary school friend and even that stubby ex-girlfriend of yours who has became a top supermodel. It's remarkable how you get to see how people have changed over the years. I've digressed again. If this were a GP essay, I'd probably get zero for not addressing the topic given. 

I guess as technology advances we find ourselves relinquishing old skills and having to navigate through a set of new skills which even the experts have not figured out. The psychology behind internet communication, the psychology of social perception of gadgets and their effects, the psychology of online etiquette, etc. (all psychology...bet you detect the love for psychology eh). And many young people who are so entrenched in the business of technology either find themselves floundering in the sea of a "gadgets arm-race", or spotting the latest devices and their accessories in a bid to look cool. But what I find most troubling is the sad fact that many, even myself, use technology to evade the very things that we should tackle head-on.  

~Facebook Fan

EVAN ALMIGHTY

Went to watch this movie at GV Marina last night. Despite the lackluster reviews, decided that it was a show I originally wanted to watch cos of its biblical relevance and cos' Steve Carell's such a cool actor, and of course on a Fri night when every other show seems to be fullhouse, that seemed like the next best alternative.

It didn't disappoint me however. In fact, I was pleasantly enthused by the lessons I caught from the show. I could empathise with Carell's Evan Baxter cos' he had to do what he had to in faith (well, God didn't give him a choice I guess). But the amazing thing was God was that each step and provided him with everything he needed to perform the task he was called to do.

Nonethless, the greatest challenge (and hence most significant learning point of the show for me) was dealing with a world that not only lacked the understanding he had, but also antagonised and taunted him. Though I haven't been placed in such extreme circumstances, it made me ponder over my ability to stand the test if the situation arises. The Christian road was never meant to be easy and even now I do face challenges occassionally (and I do fall very often!) Still, I felt kinda emotional watching this comedy cos' it reminded me about this calling we have to stand by and persist in our faith in this faithless world.

Anyway, the jokes were pretty good and had me chuckling quite a bit. Steve Carell did not let me down. He was amusing as the prim and almost to the extent obsessively compulsive Evan Baxter. Some of the funnier moments were his transformation into the likeness of old testament Noah (haha....became one of the Beetles), his accident prone behaviours during the construction scenes, and of course who could forget his shaving ritual--the part where he shaves his nose hair three to four times using various methods...whoa! Heh, maybe I should get one of those nose shavers from Mustafa as Xmas presents for my guys friends come Dec. His African American exec assistant, Rita, was hillarious as well. She makes the funniest comments. Not to mention the spectacular scenes of the ark and the animals just following him around (the fish one was exceptionally funny). I thought it was a great comedy actually.

Just a quote that was pretty insightful and impactful:

God talking to Joan Baxter (Evan's wife):

Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

May it encourage those who are going through struggles in their Christian walk or feeling that their prayers have not been answered.

SLEEP, THE FIRST TO GO!

Neil Humphreys’ article (“Ah, those short wonder years”) featured on 29 July 2007 struck a chord with me. In particular, the line “But you cannot buy back a childhood” summoned a sense of regret as I looked back on my ‘not-so-wonder’ years. I hate to admit it but I was an honorary member of the ‘Go-home society’, where student life was relegated simply to studying non-stop, and social life and fun were nil.

As the load they have to bear on their shoulders grows, our students struggle to prioritise between increasing demands, against the backdrop of an unchanging 24 hours per day. At a young age, they are being compelled to perfect this balancing act, which is not a bad thing I suppose. It does gear them for the future. However, sadly speaking, many of them are unable to achieve that healthy equilibrium, and some end up failing at a costly price.

A recent Teen Sleep Survey conducted locally this year showed that our teenagers were not getting sufficient sleep. Eighty per cent of students polled slept for less than eight hours on school days, and a whooping 66.5 per cent were up late doing homework or studying. Given the insidious effects of sleep deprivation on growth and intellectual functioning, this should sound an alarm. With numerous obligations to fulfil, it is not surprising that sleep is often the first sacred cow to be sacrificed in a mad rush for time.

Rising stress is a reality we cannot escape today. Hence, teaching and helping our students prioritise becomes imperative. Long term consequences such as poor mental health and life dissatisfaction are often neglected in the pursuit of short-term goals like a report card with straight ‘A’s. Parents and educators need to be aware that they sometimes can become transmitters of unhealthy or rigid expectations. Poor sleep compounded by high expectations imposed on oneself, can actually form a fertile ground for the development of depressive disorders. Perhaps that is why more people are having Depression and sleep problems nowadays. This is something for us to mull over.

On a mission to CARE...

HI everyone, the concept of "care" has been on my mind quite a bit. Basically, I'm interested to know the following:

1. Why do people care? Why don't people care?
2. What would make them care?
3. How to make them care?
4. When do people care?
5. Do we care too much sometimes?
6. How does caring lead to benevolent actions?
.
..
...
....

Do leave me some thoughts if you do have any ideas...

Never outdated - The Holy Bible's lasting appeal!

As I read the bible more and attend more bible teachings, it just amazes me how this book which was probably written eons way way back can be so incredibly relevant and applicable even in our modern society today. Just two points I want to share that I've been enlightened towards as I read the old testament:

1. The MULTI-TASKING wonder woman of the old testament

Attended this bible conference over the past 2 nights organised by RBC Ministries (Singapore). Came to know of this through the mailer and I straightaway blocked out the 2 dates on my calendar and committed myself to attending this conference. The theme was "Making Choice Choices" and the speaker was one of ODB's very own writers, Prof Alice Matthews (an amazingly gifted woman of God who's 77 this year and still speaks with so much projection and fervour).

In one of her sermons on Judges 4 and 6 last night, she spoke of Deborah the prophetess. I just completed that book recently, so some of the stories were still fresh in my mind. But what was truly remarkable was that though little was mentioned about Deborah, this admirable woman of God, Matthews was able to extract such powerful lessons we can learn from that little amount of info. It just accentuates the richness of biblical text that subtly conveys many useful and life transforming messages that the layperson will fail to see. Well, guess that's debatable cos' the magic of the bible maybe comes in how God touches us at that point as we feast on His word and how he touches and reveals to us certain things. But anyway, she drew so much from that and I really gleaned a lot of wisdom.

Anyway, back to Deborah...In Judges 4:4, it says:

"Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, was leading Israel at that time."

From this simple line, you can see that this woman was first someone gifted with the talent of prophesy which she accepted and used for the glory of God (MINISTRY). Second, she was the wife of Lappidoth; she had a family and in those days women had to fulfill many traditional duties as a wife and mother (WIFE). Thirdly, she was a Judge, someone who spoke God's word to the people and ensured that the people of Israel were accorded their rightful justice; she was a public servant and military leader (CAREER). The order speaks for itself--the order of priority these roles should take in our lives. Just in this one line, it shows how she weighed her priorities and how we can learn from women in the old testament. They were not all housewives, they were women who had to face the same difficulties and role conflicts as we do today. And Deborah, a woman of faith, displayed her strength and commitment to God in the way she accepted her gifts and used them but also relied on God's empowerment and truth. She was strong in character and personality. This was a woman that the millenial ladies of Christ can learn from!

2. Where are the MEMORIALS today?

As I did my Quiet Time this morning, a point was brought up to me among the notes in my study bible. The gist of it reflected how modern people can stand to gain from establishing memorials in our lives as God granted us victories and miracles. In the old testament, we read about the people of Israel laying rocks and building altars to extol the wonders of God and how He faithfully helped them overcome all odds and win the battles they had fought. And we go..."What does that God to do with us?" The fact that such instances have been repeated so many times as we read the old testament means that something is important there--something that is worth our reading and learning.

Many times we go through difficult patches of our life wondering where God is. What we fail to dwell on (since we end up spending our mental resources focusing on our current difficulties and stresses and just seeking some form of deliverance from God) is our past victories--how God restored us or delivered us in the past. Many of us can't remember those things but what we can learn is that when we recall those fulfilled promises we are encouraged and strengthened. We stand to gain from establishing memorials. Be it a journal or blog(;p) entry about our victories which we can fall back on in times of need, or perhaps a photograph of a successful event in our ministry. These can really remind us and encourage us in our times of need. But most importantly, they always help us remember that God is the source of our strength. Without God's power we could never make it through on our own. In this way, we honour Him as we "build these memorials" and strengthen ourselves as we recall past glories.

So who says that the bible is outmoded and irrelevant? In my opinion, it's the best self improvement and management book that is applicable across all contexts and life situations. Everyone can stand to gain from its wisdom. Everyday as we read His word it teaches us to be better managers of our lives and helps us to grow and become more and more like Him. Amen to that!

AWARENESS is not enough...
We need to have CARE-NESS!

Just a line that popped in my puny brain when I was jogging today--10km can you believe that, I must be a bit siao.

Thought of the LIVE EARTH programme that was screening and sorry for saying this but I felt rather cynical. I think we all are aware of the need to save the environment and we all know what little bit we can do. But I think we just don't act cos' we just don't care--or at least many of us just lack that care. It is because we care for something then we feel motivated to do something about it. The challenge then would be to instill this care such that people will be spurred on to make a difference. How do we induce care???

Anyways...will mull over this. In the meantime, just to take a trip down memory lane--for those of us living in that era:

http://www.care-bears.com/CareBears/html/index.html
http://www.care-bears.com/CareBears/html/about/index.html (description of bears)

My fave's Funshine Bear!

Cheers!