EXPERIENCING INTIMACY WITH GOD, PART 3

Just as it's essential to touch on expectations prior to delving into the definition of intimacy with God, it's equally important to address some misconceptions we have before we go into the specifics of what intimacy really are. This will help everyone to start on the same page.

THE FOREMOST MYTH OF INTIMACY WITH GOD:

"Intimacy is primarily about what He will do for us when we get close to Him"

Notice that at the heart of such thinking is self-centeredness. Remember that the greatest commandment from God is to "Love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, and all our minds". Asking yourself what God has done for you lately means that we are measuring the quality our relationship with Him by what He is doing for us at any given moment. God's reality should not be quantified by the number and intensity of His interventions in your life. 

Don't wait for a handout and not make active steps toward God. It's always easy to opt for the rush of spiritual adrenaline in a quick hit and not focus on the long haul. But like the seeds that fall on shallow soil (as mentioned in scripture), the seedlings die quickly unlike those that are deep-rooted and nourished by His word. Track Him through prayer, fellowship with other Christians and practicing the commands in scripture. Intimacy is characterized by steadfast faithfulness. We can die by simply waiting for handouts! Think old testament characters like Abraham and Joseph who waited on the Lord for years and in the meantime chose to be faithful to Him.

Finally, our lives should be driven by the eternity to come, and not by here-and-now experiences. Just as we know we need to work hard in our studies before the exams so that we can enjoy the fruits of our labour later on, we need to strive hard for His kingdom to enjoy the eternity that is far beyond what we can humanly envision. In our strivings, we can certainly enjoy the satisfaction, sustenance and security from God. We may think that Christianity is about God pleasing us, but our ambition in life should be to please Him. Paul demonstrated his understanding of this in 2 Corinthians 4:8-18. 

INTIMACY IS ABOUT FAITHFULNESS NOW AND FULFILLMENT THEN - AND IN GOD'S TIME!

EXPERIENCING INTIMACY WITH GOD

Posting 2:

As mentioned in the first posting, in seeking intimacy, the first step is to examine our expectations and set them straight. The next step is to define the "process that keeps our soul turned toward God". 

According to Stowell, "(t)he pursuit of intimacy is an intentional commitment to take steps toward God and, in the process of that Godward motion, to grow more deeply conscious of, connected to, and confident in Him alone as the only source to satisfy, sustain, and secure".

It is a mouthful isn't it? Breaking this down, we see that:

1. The process of seeking Him must be INTENTIONAL. Be proactive; be actively focused on this!

2. The process of seeking Him is a non-negotiable COMMITMENT on our part. Apply His principles persistently and patiently in your life!

3. The process of seeking Him means consciously CONNECTING with Him. Communicate with Him regularly. Appreciate His creation, model His character and conduct, praise and worship Him wholeheartedly, connect with Him in faithful obedience even in crises. 

4. The process of seeking Him means putting your CONFIDENCE in Him. We must embrace a way of life that increasingly fills our souls with satisfaction, sustenance, and security; we must truly believe that He is the source of all we need.

FINALLY, it is important to repent in our actions and attitudes, and to let go of self-sufficiency and totally rely on God, as we seek intimacy with God.

SERIES ON EXPERIENCING INTIMACY WITH GOD!

Hi everyone, I've just finished reading a small booklet by Our Daily Bread, on experiencing intimacy with God. This is actually an adaptation from a book by Joe Stowell, Radical Reliance: Living 24/7 With God At The Center. Felt so refreshed and inspired that I've decided to provide a summary of some pertinent points that have transformed my view of intimacy with Him. I encourage you to stay tuned to my blog to learn more about this and find greater satisfaction in your walk with Him.

So for the debut posting...let me start first by touching on... 

EXPECTATIONS OF INTIMACY WITH GOD...

"...(if) you are expecting intimacy with God to arrive as a blast of the Spirit that will cover you 24 hours a day for the rest of your life with an eternal season of ecstatic praise, warm feelings, and tangible chumminess with the Almighty God of the universe, then this is going to be a disappointment to you". 

The main point is: If we are going to expect intimacy to be equated to simply FEELINGS and EMOTIONS, then we are inevitably setting ourselves up for disappointment. 

Hence, in seeking intimacy with God, we need to address our expectations a the first instance. As the booklet mentions: "(i)ntimacy with God must not be defined in terms of its experiential elements". 

Next, related to this is the point that: "(e)ach of us will experience Him differently. And He will respond to us differently at different seasons and intervals of life". There is no "universal" experience. 

Therefore, by defining it as what a particular individual experiences would entail another disappointment for us if we don't experience it in the same manner. Refrain from framing your own to match others, especially those who have shared their own in biographies and testimonies. 

One last point but certainly no less important is: "(w)hile none of us experience God in precisely the same way, all of us do come to Him by way of the same road map. We do the process; God responds with an individualized product". 

In my next posting, I shall talk more about the process of seeking intimacy with God... stay tuned.

Just Musings...

So much has happened recently. Not so much in my life exactly (sorry to those who are expecting exciting life accounts, but my life is kinda boring at the moment), but rather in the world around us. Yes, most of you will probably guess easily that I'm talking about the twin tragedies in Asia--the Sichuan earthquake and the Cyclone Nargis that hit Myanmar. Amidst these, everyone's talking about rising fuel and food prices. In neighboring Indonesia, civilians have taken to the streets to protest the escalating fuel prices, hurling molotov cocktails at police officers and being subdued with pepper spray. American Idol season 7 just crowned David Cook as their latest winner...(okay just to point out the diverse things happening in the world...not that it's a major upset--I like the fella). 

Seeing images of people devastated by the catastrophes has brought me to tears. I'm really a crybaby at heart. Cast aside that confident and poised facade, and you'll see a very vulnerable me. I read the newspapers, and tears can just well in my eyes. When the twin towers were struck in the 911 incident and CNA kept screening the clips round-the-clock, I seemed as though I was on some korean drama marathon, one of those "Winter Sonata-Stairway to Heaven" ones of course, for the subsequent weeks. Not going to start about the time when SQ06 crashed in Taiwan...

As people from all nations rally around the bereaved and help in efforts to reconstruct the country and mend the broken hearts, the resiliency among the adversity is simply remarkable. Grieving is normal in the first instance, but ultimately, most cope, adapt and pick themselves up. You see people who have lost loved ones step up to tend to other survivors--for example, the Chinese female police officer who is nursing several children who had lost their mums. The altruism is equally amazing. Of course, there are many people who don't give a hoot about these things. We can't really blame them cos' these may be of remote significance to them--these events happened thousand of miles away from us--and imagine if we were to be so affected by everything that happens in the world...we'll be crushed every time something major strikes the world. Life still goes on and people need to function per normal. Nonetheless, events like these present a strong reminder that life is uncertain and fragile for that matter. Our country is fortunate to be buffered from natural disasters, but accidents or illness can happen to anyone of us. Life is like a vapor, transient and fleeting. But in our short lifespan on earth, it would be ideal to savor every moment and enjoy the gifts of family and friends. Events such as these serve grave reminders to the father that returns home from work every night to a sleeping household, the overachiever that spends more time socializing with his computer at work then his parents at home, the online junkie that lives his entire life virtually (no pun intended) in the Cyberworld (all references are not specific to the male species of course).

The ironic thing about humans is that we know what is good for us, we know what we should do, but our human flesh always wrestles with our will and wins. It takes major crises that are personal to us to jolt us to our senses. Sometimes, it may be too late. Lost time can't be reclaimed. Sometimes, learning doesn't last; as memories of these incidents fade overtime, we return to our baseline. Unrealistic optimism and complacency seem to reign in our human faculties. Psychologists study these and related fallacies that humans commit. We aren't as logical as we think. We minimize possibilities of mishaps and failures. But that's who we are! And it helps us cope with things in life. These human adaptations, as evolutionary psychologists term them, perhaps enable us to cope with the uncertainties in life and instills in us hope. We all need hope to function, don't we? In my opinion, both our logic and the lack of it makes us totally human. That's why we are so unpredictable at times and the social sciences are not as straightforward as the natural sciences because of this. 

Through all these, my awe for God has augmented. He has created such interesting creatures--humans are fascinating. I guess that's why psychology is such a captivating field. In our frail humanity, we can be resilient. Despite circumstances, we can forge ahead in our lives. In spite of our weaknesses, He can help us triumph over overwhelming situations and formidable obstacles and He delights in doing so. Just like how He helped David defeat Goliath, His divine power equips us with the means to overcome whatever adversity comes our way. Just like how we are thrilled seeing a dark horse win a competition, because it gives us the hope that we too can be like that person. In addition, intelligent as we may be, we are often illogical. We knowingly do what we know may not be good for us. Many times we know what we need to do, but we refuse to do it even though it may be best for us to do so. Sometimes, we allow human emotions to cloud our logic or trade away our values to enjoy a moment of rebellion that will cost severely. Our incredibly human nature contrasts starkly God's truly divine, supernatural and supreme nature, doesn't it?

Okay, I've emptied my thoughts and its time to stop. But let me end with this quote--my fave one for now. From 2 Corinthians 12: 9,

But He said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that 

Christ's power may rest on me. 

It reminds me that I am weak, but I need not worry and instead should delight in it because I can give Him the due credit when I succeed and His glory will be revealed through me. My weakness make me rely on Him. In the uncertainty, I can rest on the firm foundation of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. 

An Art Lesson...

Nope, I'm not taking art lessons at the moment. Neither do I think I have a gift in this area, though all my immediate family members seem to be able to draw something more than decent that could be placed on display in a fancy store in Manhattan. Tonight I went to an art exhibition at St Mary's (a church my parents attend regularly), and became a fan and advocate of art therapy. For the past year or so, my mum had been joining this art therapy class at her church and four of her masterpieces were being celebrated tonight.

The reception for tonight's event looked dashing, the lighting was pretty and the place looked absolutely classy. Well of course, given that this is a church that has won several awards and has been featured on the Straits Times for its stellar architecture. I went there with my dad, clueless about what to expect. But what I took home was more than the beautiful sight and wonderful art pieces (and not forgetting the exquisite and lovely finger food!). 

The evening was kick-started and set into motion by Joanna, the art therapist, who gave a quick, bite-sized intro into Art Therapy 101. As a psychology grad, and someone who is really into clinical work and therapy, I always felt that art therapy was a great way to express one's inner emotions and to discover one's innermost thoughts. However, tonight I learnt something new about this form of therapy. Joanna mentioned how members who joined the class were taught to withhold all judgment and suspend all criticism, especially on themselves as they learnt to draw and paint. It reminded me of how frustrated I used to get in art class when the apple I drew just wasn't the perfect one I envisioned in my mind, and how perfectionist and demanding we can sometimes be on ourselves. The culture that was nurtured in the class, one that allowed little flaws and imperfections to shine, reminded me of how God's glory is often made perfect in our weaknesses. We go through life yoking ourselves to the expectations we import from the world and that gives our self esteem a huge beating very often. As I reflected on what was shared and the testimonies given about the supportive environment in the classroom, I realized how therapeutic art therapy can be. Everything is individual and each piece has its own distinctive identity and meaning that captured a snapshot of the sacred place that God brought each artist into when He inspired them to craft these wonderful pictures. Each week as their skills improved, I'm sure their confidence augmented. It's amazing how God can minister to a person and how he or she can testify about it through his or her art piece. 

As I stepped into the exhibition room, I was marveled by the awesome use of colors and brilliant drawings on the canvases hung on the walls. I began to read some write-ups that explained how the artist got his or her inspiration. I really felt ministered by God as I read the learning lessons people gleaned as they painted. However, when I laid my eye on the one my mum painted without knowing she was the one responsible for that beautiful piece of art, I felt especially poignant. It was a gorgeous piece that won many compliments for its realism and intricacies. Unfortunately, someone purchased or I might (well might only cos' I am feeling rather poor now) have bought it. When I read her write-up, I was extremely touched and I felt the tears welling in my eyes. Her reflections were very insightful and I was so proud of how she had experienced God in such a personal way. I've got so much to be proud of about my mum; she is fantastic in art, at organizing one thousand and one things, and wonderful at packing my luggage (she sure can squeeze many things into tiny spaces)! I really hope that she can continue to grow in the Lord and continue to pursue Him through art.

After being ministered by the masterpieces at the exhibition, my dad and I walked out of the church without making any purchases. I guess we are too thick-skinned to feel bad about enjoying the art without paying any price. Anyways, I asked my dad whether he could draw after hesitating for a while (we hardly converse casually unless its at a special dinner or something). And finally when I summoned the courage to ask him, he shared how he actually corrected some of my mum's drawings- some ducks-because (and this is according to him) she wasn't adept at capturing proportions of life forms. He told me how he used to be the Art director (or editor, I can't remember now) of his pre-u magazine, and how he won an art competition when he was young. As he spoke of all this, I felt that I was really getting to know him more and more, and I felt so drawn to his stories. He went on about how he liked to draw animals and he was the only one at home who had the artistic flair. Next, he shared about this famous Singaporean artist (Chen Wen Xi or something like that) who died, how his paintings became valuable, how he was known for drawing gibbons, and how he would draw them in all sorts of positions with his trademark strokes and use of signature smudges. My dad was telling me of his visits to Bukit Timah Hill and how he found some monkeys very cute--they were in all sorts of positions (please don't think dirty hor!). He wanted to take some photos and draw these monkeys at home according to those photos and develop his own style of painting monkeys. These were little snippets of my dad I wouldn't have known if I never asked.

One last thing that I would like to add is my own reflection on tonight's event. All the nice paintings I saw bowled me over, and I just saw the awareness and mindfulness of the people who created these paintings. It took tremendous patience to complete each piece. And the question I had was: how many people would slow down nowadays in the hurried pace of life to admire a painting or take in a breathtaking sight? Do we, who are so busy reacting to the stimulation we receive from the hustle and bustle of society, cherish the moment or savor the beauty of God's creation in our everyday life? In those days, when there wasn't PSP or DS Lite, kids would spend more time on the drawing board, developing a keen sensitivity to their surrounding in the process (not saying that they don't nowadays, just less). Now we rather type then pick up a pencil, or click on some keyboard rather than color with a crayon....well, just some thoughts (not verified through any experiment whatsoever--psychologists are just so empirical!).

I wish I had the talent to draw or paint. My parents have it. Guess it all went to my sis who is now studying architecture. Anyway, God is fair in dishing out all talents to people. For one, I can sing better than any of them (heh, no hard feelings ya). Anyways, art therapy seems great and I really hope to use it in the future if I do practice clin psych.  

 

Fin

 

Escapism in the modern world

How many times have you found yourself retreating into your Nokia 6100 just to evade the need to come up with something creative to PR with someone, or to avoid looking stupid at a party where you hardly know anyone? Unless you are Amish or you've never owned a computer in your entire life, I'm pretty sure that sometime or another you would have done that.  I mean, who wouldn't agree that it's better to look busy and engaged, rather than to appear like a socially-awkward loser. It's such a convenient escape!

Survey the surrounding when you take the bus or sit in the MRT cabin, and you'll find that it's not hard to spot someone plugged into something, whether it's a IPod Shuffle or a Blue tooth hands free. Sometimes in the mornings when I manage to squeeze up the bus, I can easily pick out six people with earphones in their ears. And now I'm one of them (just joined the community with my rather new IPod Nano), and I'm so addicted to my mini jukebox too!

I was almost pressed against the window of the MRT train this afternoon as I was going back to the office from lunch (don't ask me what time was that though, everyone was rushing back to work). And as I was trying to find my balance in the area near the door. Beside me was this rather elderly lady leaning on the glass panel, who was peering into my IPod Nano as I adjusted some setting. Somehow I felt like I was being observed and I stole a quick glance at her intrigued expression. And I wondered how the elderly feel in today's society where everyone's so preoccupied with the latest handphones and electronic devices. It's so difficult not to notice this new phenomenon. Do they feel alienated from the younger generations whose conversations hardly deviate from computer jargon and the latest electronic deals? How do they feel having to learn how to use PDAs to take orders, if they wanted to work at MacDonalds? This related to the whole movement to encourage lifelong employment? Just musing over this; don't mind the digression.

Whatever it is, technology is such an amazing thing. Such ambivalence I have towards it; to like or not to like? On one hand, I see it happening already. People hibernating online (or rather in their rooms, on the computer) because they are bored and have nothing to do. We have become such sticklers for constant stimulation. We end up seeking it in places which causes us to lose touch with the soft skills of communicating with people face-to-face. We retreat into our mobile phones just like how a child refuses to go to school because he hasn't done his homework. After a while the lack of practice may degrade into reclusiveness and social anxiety. Of course I refer to extreme cases where one's only friend is either a "Rock" named Joe (no offense to people called Joe or have Jo in their names--my dad's Jo too!), or have a virtual girlfriend named Zoe (no offense to fans of Zoe Tay either; it's just a random name from my brain). 

On the other hand, I'm so enamored by things like Facebook, and of course, my latest MAC Notebook!!! Online messengers and communication tools have the ability to connect you to your long-lost primary school friend and even that stubby ex-girlfriend of yours who has became a top supermodel. It's remarkable how you get to see how people have changed over the years. I've digressed again. If this were a GP essay, I'd probably get zero for not addressing the topic given. 

I guess as technology advances we find ourselves relinquishing old skills and having to navigate through a set of new skills which even the experts have not figured out. The psychology behind internet communication, the psychology of social perception of gadgets and their effects, the psychology of online etiquette, etc. (all psychology...bet you detect the love for psychology eh). And many young people who are so entrenched in the business of technology either find themselves floundering in the sea of a "gadgets arm-race", or spotting the latest devices and their accessories in a bid to look cool. But what I find most troubling is the sad fact that many, even myself, use technology to evade the very things that we should tackle head-on.  

~Facebook Fan

I'm twenty-five today!

Whoa...a quarter of my lifespan just flew pass me! Feel so captive to the carousel of time. No return but only looking back at how I've been living my life. And I can never feel happier where I am now because I got nothing to complain about. The favour and blessings from the Lord are more than enough for me. I survived the stormy years of teenage life and young adulthood, and I'm all gird up to take on more in the next few years. Praise God!

Actually, for the past 25 years of my life, I've never really perceived my birthday to be a special occassion. For many of the years, it just came and went. If you ask me how I celebrated my sweet sixteen or 21st birthday, I really cannot give you any answer. My memory of those times is simply fuzzy. When I was young, I remember that my mummy would come back from work with a birthday cake on that day, and we would all hover around the cake that night, and sing a birthday song and cut the birthday cake. She used to buy those creamy sponge cakes that you get from the neighbourhood bakeries; and there would always be the "Happy Birthday, Charlene" written in icing on the top of the cake. I would blow the candles and cut the cake. There won't be any presents cos' I would have exhausted all my "gift privileges" before October (I would beg my mum to buy me the latest toys as my birthday or Xmas presents in advance). Those were the days. We stopped doing the cake thing for some time. Nowadays, we do dinners minus the cake (heh, unless it comes free with some bday discount; but rarely do we do the blowing of candles ritual at home). I have never had one of those MacDonald's parties. It was something every kid wanted for their birthdays (the 80s babies esp would agree with this), including me. It would sure be weird to have one now though. Hmm...still can't figure out why everyone was so crazy about it then.

Today, though, was rather special. And I'm recording this because I want to capture this and remember this in the future. When the clock struck 12 the night before, I started receiving several SMSes with birthday greetings. Subsequently, the next day I received more SMSes and some birthday messages and virtual gifts on facebook and friendster (the beauty of electronic media and birthday reminders...haha, can save money on bday gifts too =) sincere nonetheless =)). Dolled up and clad in the most youthful-looking top in my wardrobe, bright and cheery, I took off to Vivo for main service at ten-ish. Fast forward to after service: I received a huge sunflower stock from me beloved youths. Really pleasant surprise cos' I thought they wouldn't have known (again, the beauty of bday reminders and friendster). That in itself had me grinning from ear-to-ear as I navigated the walkways of vivo after service with my sunflower and invited stares from people strolling through the mall. After that, had a nice lunch at Beach Road and got my fix of Ah Balling which I've been craving for a few weeks now.

Unsuspecting, I went back to church after lunch. Everything seemed normal. Did back-up for youth service--Jer is getting so smooth as a worship-leader, so proud of him!--and we breaked to discuss our skits. All this while, I was oblivious to the "conspiracy" that was brewing in the next room. Different ones took turns to present their skits. Then our cast for the last skit (which was "save for the last" in EQ's words) took to the stage. Again, everything started per normal, and nothing was peculiar. I was anticipating Tine's defining moment---her most "deh" performance, but it didn't come. Instead, this cheeky girl got a few members from the audience up onstage to check out this red box that she was holding. She gestured to me to join her and peek into this box, and then she urged me to open it. As I opened it, everyone started singing "happy birthday!" This "naughty" bunch had hidden this scrap book they made for me in the box!! Ok, for those of you who were there, you probably get the picture of what I'm recording here. For those of you who are simply clueless about what I'm trying to say (which is really ineffable or difficult to express in words), the bottomline is, I was, in Ashton Kutcher's words "punked" heh. It was really unexpected. Me being the cry baby I am, was touched to tears instantly. Ern, Ja and Bell said some sweet things that made it even harder to turn off the tap. These "crazy" kids (and I mean it in love, affection and jest =)), had spent so much time, effort and monies making this scrap book. They even pasted my picture (which was taken of me holding the sunflower which Ram took for me in the morning) on the cover page. That was an enormous suprise and one of the best birthday gifts ever! Thanks guys!

There were actually more suprises after that (skilfully crafted I must say)....hehe but I won't be divulging much here. The guru will prob not be pleased if any trade secrets were readily disclosed to others ;) All you guys @ church are great at creating surprises! Besides, it's now 1 am and my birthday is over! Gotta go to work tomorrow too. All I can say is that, the gifts I got today were given with much love and warmth. I may be older today, but I'm just so glad that my last 25 years have been worthwhile. The SMSes, well-wishes, hugs, and gifts speak volumes of God's favour upon me. Praise God forever and ever, Amen!