6 Lessons from Grace

Nope, I'm not talking about a girl named Grace. Rather, I referring to Grace Assembly of God which I visited this morning. Decided to check it out since it's just in the heartlands of Bukit Batok where I reside. Don't ask me why I decided to ponteng my usual church today. Let's just say that I stayed out late last night and wanted the luxury of sleeping in on a Sunday morning. Enough said, here are some of my own personal takeaways from the experience--a tremendous one...

1. "I don't believe in God but I miss Him" vs. "I believe in God but I don't miss Him."

Do you find yourself in the first category or the second? The pastor preached this today (said he read the first phrase in Readers Digest) and I thought it was very sharp. The first mostly describes an independent-spirited non-believer who reveals his/her vulnerability in the storms of life and need for affirmation and love (our non-Christian friends?). Many of us may fall in the second group. We are believers by name but have lost ourselves in the business of the world--distracted and caught up with our lives here. For me, I just want to miss Him. I don't want to shed my dependency on Him because it's sometimes so tiring just trying so desperately hard on my own and giving in to my human pride. That leads me to my second lesson learnt...

2. We need to miss God. 

This links to one of my earlier blog postings on experiencing intimacy with God (the 4th myth of intimacy). We can't possibly experience the fullness of intimacy of God in this world; our limitations are too severe--we can't neglect our work, our flesh is weak, we're lazy and distracted, etc. Furthermore, like what I learnt today, we are physically separated from the fellowship of God. Until the day we meet God in heaven, we'll miss Him on earth and look forward to the day we can fellowship with Him in eternity. Long for Him. If you find yourself not missing Him or desiring after Him like how a wife misses her husband when he has to go abroad to work, pray and ask Him for that longing and yearning. 

3. Age holds no barriers.

Watching some oldies lifting their hands as the worship team played "Shout of the King" and "King of Majesty" at Grace Assembly was so inspiring. The choir, made up for middle-aged ladies, sang and clapped with so much energy and verve! When I went back to my youth service today and watched our beloved thirteen-year-old play beautifully on the keyboard, it was a gorgeous sight. But when I saw her sing so fervently and passionately as she played, the sight of that touched my heart even more and tears began to well in my eyes. Sometimes when I watch my youths so deeply absorbed in their worship, it moves me greatly. Age holds no barriers...it's the heart that rejoices before Him that matters...

4. Our bodies are instruments of praise.

The first thing I noticed when I stepped in as they began the service at Grace was the presence of tambourine dancers. I was so captivated by their form of worship. It has always been my desire to see a dance ministry develop in church. It's such a beautiful way to worship God because in dance one releases all inhibitions and the entire body is used as an instrument to worship God. During the service, I readily lifted my arms and clapped my hands--it was so natural to do so because I just felt so engulfed by the presence of God. It wasn't simply just the cool music or large and nicely-decorated sanctuary; it was the earnestness and fervor of the congregation, all wanting to seek God and use their bodies--their voice, limbs and hearts--to worship God that spurred me on. I was so inspired that I penned some lyrics--though a bit amateurish, they are a reflection of my heartfelt desire and eagerness to worship God.

5. I'm just one talent among many. But that's okay!

Having served in a small church for a while now, I have all along felt comfortable with my talents. You know you are pretty much above average where you are. Once in a while, you let your pride get to you or you assure yourself that you are good. When you enter the sea and leave the pond, you realize that you're just another talent. You are blown away by the tremendous talent beyond the pond. I've been confronted by this thought several times as I contemplated my future in a bigger church when I do move to New York. Today, it came to me again. However, today I felt so satisfied just being in the congregation and I uttered in my heart "God, if you could just allow me to be among your choir of angels in heaven!" I just want to serve Him with others; I don't have to be outstanding. I don't want to feed my pride.

6. How nice if we could just learn from each other!

It was so refreshing being in a different church today. The culture was very pleasant to me. I really liked how many members worshipped passionately, how the worship team encouraged each other in a debrief following the service, how the Pastor preached so brilliantly revealing God's anointing on his life and his gifting in ministry (he was sharp and perceptive), etc. There were so many things that we could learn from. In my mind sparked questions like "Do the AOG churches have a best practices sharing?", "Would it be a good idea to have a worship director and division in the AOG council?" Sometimes, we get so caught up in forging our own church identity and protecting our own church doctrines and traditions from being eroded and "contaminated" by emerging pop cultures from other churches that we miss out on learning from each other. Grace Assembly has a wonderful organizational culture that makes it an inviting place to go to. It's not just the fancy outlook, but an entire packaging and marketing strategy from its locations to the type of equipment they invest in. The reality is this: we live in a world where marketing is important. The "study visit" today was a good one. I wish I could get some of the older youths to join me, and that these visits to other churches inspire them in their own ministries and propel them to strive for greatness in their service to Him. Besides, God meant for all of us to worship Him in unity; it doesn't matter which church you are from, what matters most is that we serve the same God. Visit other churches once in a while with the right mentality and attitude and you'll stand to gain much. 

Praise God!

So Naturally

My hands naturally clap before you

As my voice reaches you in heaven

My hearts beats in unison with the drums

That signal the coming of the one and only King

I want so much to praise You

Lift my hands and say "I love You"

For in Your awesomeness

That's all I want to do

Can't help but just to praise You

My heart cries out and sings "I love You"

Cause in the light of Your beauty

That's all I want to do

So naturally...

My hands they willingly lift before You

My voice it sings of Your might and splendor

Oh Lord, do not hide yourself from me ever

So naturally my heart praises you my one King

EXPERIENCING INTIMACY WITH GOD....cont'd

Having talked about the myths, it's good to look at the flip side to examine what intimacy with God entails. Here are five truths to be remembered:

1. Intimacy begins by giving yourself away.

As mentioned before, it's not about how much God does for you or how good He makes you feel. Embrace Him in faith and worship Him in purity and service.

2. God works quietly behind the scenes.

He intervenes in dramatic ways according to His own timing and will. When we start to ask why great things happen for others and not ourselves, we should  rejoice in the fact that He does marvelous things in their lives. 

3. God has already done more for us than we deserve.

He already sent His son to die for us and opened a way for us to be redeemed. He has made the option of eternal life available to us.

4. God is doing a lot more for us than we know of.

He protects and blesses us 24/7. The bible describes God standing like a sentinel at the gates of our lives, keeping out anything that is more than we can bear (1 Cor 10:13). When big things happen to us, we know that God has a purpose in mind (Romans 8:28)

5. If it's intimacy we want, we need to be more interested in the Giver than the gifts.

His idea of intimacy is a love relationship with us, not a gift exchange.

Remember these five truths always...

My last officially-scheduled worship-leading in church...

This morning was tough. My mind was still suffering a minor congestion from sleeping late the previous night.

[TIP#1 for worship-leaders, try to ensure you are well-rested on the night before if you are leading the next day--a responsible gesture to God and His church. Try to refrain from giving excuses like--how I'm going to here--"I stayed out partying last night till 12 midnight"]

I had my songs prepared but the technical flow and linking between songs were going to be tricky. But to me, I felt inspired to do these songs in that manner. There was not only a lot of thought that went into it, but also a reflective contemplation of how God could intervene through the worship session. 

[TIP #2 for worship-leaders, do not be hesitant to adopt the spirit of experimentation and openness in song and music arrangements. For services, however, make bold attempts if you are rather certain that God wants it that way (this is first and foremost), or that the team can potentially work things out]

I didn't convey my mental blueprints to the team. And neither did I elaborate on the kind of worship environment to be enacted during the service. Sometimes, I can't find the words to describe these things, and my inability to play any musical instrument proficiently doesn't help (recorder doesn't count, right?)

[TIP #3 for worship-leaders, formulate your own jargons that promotes common understanding among your team so that it is easier to communicate effects to be created more efficiently (e.g. "Hawaiian/coconut-style"). Importantly, take time to convey your plan and basis for it, so that you and your team can begin practice on a common ground and share the same vision. Doesn't have to be a thesis on it; a simple one or two-liner explaining your(God's) intentions would suffice most of the time.]

There had been times I experienced frustration during practices because I couldn't express my intentions clearly or help the team understand certain things. It was stressful in the earlier days when I just started worship-leading, but now it's simply frustrating. In these occasions, the usual cognition that jumps into my brain is thoughts of self-doubt and inadequacies. Next, would be finding something or someone to blame. I know and admit that that's a horrible thing to do.

[TIP#4 for worship-leaders, never indulge in self-pity by telling yourself that you are lousy, that its not your calling, or asking yourself why you have to do it (especially before service!). Don't blame others when things don't seem to work according to what you want. Learn to be flexible and make changes accordingly, and be open to what the team has to say.]

There were some hiccups during the practice, but nothing dire actually. It was just self-doubt and self-directed agitation, when things didn't work out according to what I wanted. Then again, that was just me and my expectations tormenting me. I felt alone and sian. A counter I gave against those was simply to pick up the bible and find solace in His word. Though I surrendered (not absolutely) the task to the Lord, in my heart was still some unsettlement. 

Service started with a bang--not a carnival fanfare, but an awkward tension. Everyone didn't seem keen on moving forward when invited to. Guess I embraced too much optimism in making that endeavor--it was really pretty much the spur of the moment. My usual confidence and poise melted into futile attempts to pick up the pieces and glue them together. It was a loud "Urgh!" and "Oh well" in my head and off we went with the first song. 

Throughout the first song, thoughts of self-doubt resonated within my mind: "Is this really my calling?" I persisted and cried out in my head, "God help me!" Many times I just wish that I wasn't really there but in actual fact I was standing at the front of a cinema hall with so many pairs of eyes staring at me and I had no where to run. I couldn't wish it away. Throughout the first song, I was wrestling with these negative cognitions. It was a tough struggle till they dissipated at the end of the song. It was a breakthrough! I persevered and banished those thoughts. I kept telling myself to turn my eyes on Him and worship Him without bothering about whether the congregation was.

[TIP #5 for worship-leaders, live in the present and not dwell on a less-than-exciting kick-start to the service. Focus on yourself worshipping Him before thinking about whether others are. Don't allow negative thoughts to flood you. Tell yourself, "No matter what I'm going to praise you God!". Keep your mind on that.]

After gaining back my balance and gaining momentum, I approached the slow songs which caused some problems earlier during the practice. As worry swept my mind, I recalled how Simon Peter fell when he made an attempt to cross the lake on his feet. Because of his hesitation and lack of faith, he allowed his human worries to subject him to failure. There was fear, but I decided to meet them in faith and go according to what I felt was spirit-led. Fortunately, I was on the same page as the Holy Spirit. I took things slowly and immersed myself in experiencing His presence, and did those songs which could have potentially led to an anti-climax. 

[Tip #6 for worship-leaders, don't have the impression that praise and worship ALWAYS has to be built up and dramatic. Most essentially it has to be sincere. Sometimes, we need to have moments of stillness during worship to allow the Spirit to speak to us, or to simple allow the peace of God to reign among His people. Fundamentally, we need to create a conducive atmosphere for God to work--that's just it! So flow with the Spirit]

[Tip #7 for worship-leaders, technical stunts can become major distractions and stumbling blocks. If they do so, let them go. It's not a performance or evaluation of how good you are as a song-leader. Forsake things that can potentially feed your own vanity and pride. God will use your talents but only if you recognize that they're from the maker and not your own]

God just flowed during today's service. I was amazed and glad. It's such a wonderful feeling to know that He used you as His vessel! It's so uplifting when you see clear signs (like when Pastor preaches something relevant to your songs, or when someone prophesizes during the praise and worship) that indicate that you were His instrument. Though I get discouraged from time to time and I doubt myself, I have all these incidents to remind me of how He has used me before and I could be used again as long as I invested my talents and not bury them. 

[Tip#8 for worship-leaders, always keep the Mary and Martha story close to you. While Martha was busy with serving Jesus, her service to Christ had degenerated into mere busywork that no longer had the complete devotion to God. When our ministry becomes chore to us, try to recall this story. Don't be busy doing things for Jesus, that you are not spending time with Him, and don't allow your service to become self-serving. Other lessons we learn are not to feel sorry for oneself when one's efforts are not recognized, and don't be too overconcerned about details. Importantly, don't be distracted by the technicalities in the service and neglect the one we worship.]

[Tip#9 for worship-leaders, mingle with members of congregation and find out briefly the needs among church members. Sometimes, you can use songs to allow God to minister to them. If the church is going through spiritual dryness, we can select songs that are themed around that. Or if you know that the speaker is going to emphasize on something beforehand, you can choose songs surrounding that theme.]

[Tip #10 for worship-leaders, don't be harsh on yourself when you don't see "results" or when service seemed "lousy". God works in amazing ways which are sometimes beyond our comprehension.]

EXPERIENCING INTIMACY WITH GOD - PART IV

In the last posting, I cautioned against equating intimacy to how much He is doing for us. That was the first myth. Here I'll talk about several other myths we must beware of:

MYTH #2 - Intimacy is about an informal buddy-buddy relationship with God. 

We should not expect a backslapping chumminess with God. Instead our relationship with Him would always be marked by a sense of awe and respect, even when we enjoy sweet moments of close fellowship with Him.

MYTH #3 - The experience of intimacy is the same for us all.

As mentioned before, it is dangerous to try to pour ourselves into the mold of someone else's experience. People from different cultures and with different personalities will experience Christ in a wonderful variety of ways.

MYTH #4 - We can experience the fullness of intimacy with God in the here and now.

Our limitations are too severe. Since the fall of man, we became subject to our physical vulnerabilities and emotional state. Our participation in society prevents us from spending all our time in contemplative solitude. Now we should live for the day when we will enjoy His presence unhindered.

MYTH #5 - We can experience intimacy with a partially surrendered life.

We don't need to be perfect but we certainly need to be fully surrendered. That entails living a life in submission and obedience to the Lord. Though we fail, an immediate repentance and refusal to become entrenched in failure will keep us on the path toward Him. 

REMEMBER: We are to love the Lord our God with our ALL our heart, soul and mind (Matthew 22:37). 

EXPERIENCING INTIMACY WITH GOD, PART 3

Just as it's essential to touch on expectations prior to delving into the definition of intimacy with God, it's equally important to address some misconceptions we have before we go into the specifics of what intimacy really are. This will help everyone to start on the same page.

THE FOREMOST MYTH OF INTIMACY WITH GOD:

"Intimacy is primarily about what He will do for us when we get close to Him"

Notice that at the heart of such thinking is self-centeredness. Remember that the greatest commandment from God is to "Love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, and all our minds". Asking yourself what God has done for you lately means that we are measuring the quality our relationship with Him by what He is doing for us at any given moment. God's reality should not be quantified by the number and intensity of His interventions in your life. 

Don't wait for a handout and not make active steps toward God. It's always easy to opt for the rush of spiritual adrenaline in a quick hit and not focus on the long haul. But like the seeds that fall on shallow soil (as mentioned in scripture), the seedlings die quickly unlike those that are deep-rooted and nourished by His word. Track Him through prayer, fellowship with other Christians and practicing the commands in scripture. Intimacy is characterized by steadfast faithfulness. We can die by simply waiting for handouts! Think old testament characters like Abraham and Joseph who waited on the Lord for years and in the meantime chose to be faithful to Him.

Finally, our lives should be driven by the eternity to come, and not by here-and-now experiences. Just as we know we need to work hard in our studies before the exams so that we can enjoy the fruits of our labour later on, we need to strive hard for His kingdom to enjoy the eternity that is far beyond what we can humanly envision. In our strivings, we can certainly enjoy the satisfaction, sustenance and security from God. We may think that Christianity is about God pleasing us, but our ambition in life should be to please Him. Paul demonstrated his understanding of this in 2 Corinthians 4:8-18. 

INTIMACY IS ABOUT FAITHFULNESS NOW AND FULFILLMENT THEN - AND IN GOD'S TIME!

EXPERIENCING INTIMACY WITH GOD

Posting 2:

As mentioned in the first posting, in seeking intimacy, the first step is to examine our expectations and set them straight. The next step is to define the "process that keeps our soul turned toward God". 

According to Stowell, "(t)he pursuit of intimacy is an intentional commitment to take steps toward God and, in the process of that Godward motion, to grow more deeply conscious of, connected to, and confident in Him alone as the only source to satisfy, sustain, and secure".

It is a mouthful isn't it? Breaking this down, we see that:

1. The process of seeking Him must be INTENTIONAL. Be proactive; be actively focused on this!

2. The process of seeking Him is a non-negotiable COMMITMENT on our part. Apply His principles persistently and patiently in your life!

3. The process of seeking Him means consciously CONNECTING with Him. Communicate with Him regularly. Appreciate His creation, model His character and conduct, praise and worship Him wholeheartedly, connect with Him in faithful obedience even in crises. 

4. The process of seeking Him means putting your CONFIDENCE in Him. We must embrace a way of life that increasingly fills our souls with satisfaction, sustenance, and security; we must truly believe that He is the source of all we need.

FINALLY, it is important to repent in our actions and attitudes, and to let go of self-sufficiency and totally rely on God, as we seek intimacy with God.

SERIES ON EXPERIENCING INTIMACY WITH GOD!

Hi everyone, I've just finished reading a small booklet by Our Daily Bread, on experiencing intimacy with God. This is actually an adaptation from a book by Joe Stowell, Radical Reliance: Living 24/7 With God At The Center. Felt so refreshed and inspired that I've decided to provide a summary of some pertinent points that have transformed my view of intimacy with Him. I encourage you to stay tuned to my blog to learn more about this and find greater satisfaction in your walk with Him.

So for the debut posting...let me start first by touching on... 

EXPECTATIONS OF INTIMACY WITH GOD...

"...(if) you are expecting intimacy with God to arrive as a blast of the Spirit that will cover you 24 hours a day for the rest of your life with an eternal season of ecstatic praise, warm feelings, and tangible chumminess with the Almighty God of the universe, then this is going to be a disappointment to you". 

The main point is: If we are going to expect intimacy to be equated to simply FEELINGS and EMOTIONS, then we are inevitably setting ourselves up for disappointment. 

Hence, in seeking intimacy with God, we need to address our expectations a the first instance. As the booklet mentions: "(i)ntimacy with God must not be defined in terms of its experiential elements". 

Next, related to this is the point that: "(e)ach of us will experience Him differently. And He will respond to us differently at different seasons and intervals of life". There is no "universal" experience. 

Therefore, by defining it as what a particular individual experiences would entail another disappointment for us if we don't experience it in the same manner. Refrain from framing your own to match others, especially those who have shared their own in biographies and testimonies. 

One last point but certainly no less important is: "(w)hile none of us experience God in precisely the same way, all of us do come to Him by way of the same road map. We do the process; God responds with an individualized product". 

In my next posting, I shall talk more about the process of seeking intimacy with God... stay tuned.