My thoughts on the movie BABEL
(Be warned, this could be a spoiler for those intending to watch the film!)

Starring Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Adriana Barraza and Rinko Kikuchi.

Watched this show yesterday and was very intrigued, though somewhat disturbed because it draws our attention to some very disconcerting issues in life.

What I do applaud is how Mexican director, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu (acclaimed director of "Amores Peros" in 2000--an international arthouse hit that won the Bafta for Best Foreign Language Film, and "21 Grams" in 2003 starring Naomi Watts), intricately but logically wove together four very distinct experiences into a common theme of sorrow and chance.

And so my thoughts on the four stories:

1. The tragedy of the Morroccan family
In brief, two young shepherd boys happen to shoot an American tourist in a coach that gets the whole world thinking that the terrorists have struck again. What amused me was the fact that in recent times the world has become so attuned to the word "Terrorism" that everything that involves the loss or damage of life and property (esp where different nationalities are involved) becomes rapidly associated with terrorists.

2. The couple whose marriage was on the rocks
Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett play the American couple implicated in the shooting. Blanchett's Susan Jones is the unfortunate tourist who got shot on the bus. Pitt struggles to get her medical aid in a remote village. This story taught me two things: (1) major crises pull people together (except for those wretched tourists who refused to lend a hand and behaved in a self-centred manner!); and (2) it's okay to pee in your pants (in front of your husband) when you are really ill and you can't hold it back!

3. The Mexican nanny who almost died in the dessert
Because the couple were away and there was no one to care for their children, the Mexican nanny had no choice but to bring the kids back to her hometown in Mexico so that she could attend her son's wedding. I won't reveal the ending to that. What I can say was that this story exposed me to the rich culture of Mexico--their weddings, the way kids were socialised--but also the fear and stigma the Americans had toward this group of hispanics. The story also touched on how dozens of illegal immigrants die in the dessert in their attempt to cross the border into the so-called land of the free to live the American dream.

4. The Japanese girl who was deaf and mute
This story was particularly disturbing for me because she stripped naked and exposed herself at various points of the show. It was really tragic the way she degraded herself in her struggle for affection and desire for acceptance. The girl, though sweet-looking, faced rejection by guys her age, and turned to inappropriate means of seducing other men like her dentist and a police detective. How does this story link? The girl's father was the hunting enthusiast who gave the shot gun to a Morroccan who in turn sold it to the Morroccan family with the two young boys.

Amazing how everything links!

Deviance--a construct of society

It's largely our human nature to be picky about things that don't seem to go with the flow. We jibe about those HDB ah sohs (or lao hiaos) that don't get their hair colours right (well at least on many occassions)--for Heaven's sake, bright green crest atop ginger tresses! We try hard to contain those chuckles when we see a scrawny guy putting his bony arm around (without much success I guess...) his dinosaur-of-a-girlfriend, re-enacting a "Jack and Rose aboard the Titanic" scene--no offence to those couples out there, just simply drawing an example.

Who defines the "flow" of society, the "oughts" and the "shoulds"? The hard truth is, if you are not part of the majority, you are often seen as a sore thumb that sticks out or that stain in the fabric of society. What happens to the minority who become sacrificial lambs in the affirmation of a dominant culture where associated beliefs and attitudes are identified as more salutary than others? They "become" deviant. Emile Durkheim, one of the earliest sociologists, believed that it was impossible for any society to be free from deviance--even a "society of saints" will have its sinners. Since, sociologists have regarded defining deviance as a fundamental activity of any society.

I'm not going to put my foot down and say whether I'm for or against this because in some way this process of defining deviance does serve as a regulative force in society by setting limits on individual actions, but at the same time it could perpetuate stigma against minority groups like the mentally ill, juvenile delinquents, and ex-convicts. What I am going to argue is that deviance has everything to do with the response of others and nothing to do with any defect in the individual displaying those behaviours considered as deviant. Furthermore, labelling can thrust that person into behaving in a manner consistent with the tag (i.e. spiral into a self-fulfilling prophesy).

In Singapore where many of us are perfectionistic and "face"-conscious, it is difficult to run away from this activity of defining deviance. Since young we've been socialised by our parents to think that road sweepers never worked hard in school that's why they end up sweeping our roads. Those at the bottom of the social ladder become marginalised and suppressed so that those at the top feel better about themselves. No need for embarrassment, it's simply the social psychological process of social comparison. However, when comparison evolves into contempt for others and unhealthy expectations of oneself, we need to keep our instincts in check and rise above them.

That brings me back to the thoughts in my mind that stirred this little discussion. Someone may be happy with his own life. He may not see it as any problem at all. It's not that he is committing any offence or whatsoever, but others just don't seem to feel comfortable around this person. They see him as having a problem, but he thinks otherwise. As a single entity, he does fine. However, in a community, he is perceived as problematic and is marginalised. So how do you resolve this? Should the person relent to social pressures and leave the community? No matter where he goes, he may face the same reaction. Or should we give him a label that he's "abnormal" and impose the world's expectations on him? But he doesn't deem himself as crazy, just different. Hmm...the complexities of life.

Goals for the year 2007!

one. ministry

to go on a mission trip abroad

to have a small group slumber party @ home

to organise a happening youth outreach project

to meet youths outside church once every month

two. family

to buy my parents an expensive dinner

to help out in my sister's wedding planning

to tell my parents I love them very very very much!

three. work

to complete my viva

to make the Para C Appreciation Day event a successful one

to make a meaningful difference to the existing Para C framework

to write a research paper on mental illness/health & law enforcement

four. community

to be a volunteer for a day on two separate occasions

to go for one of the "Adopt a Block" activities with the Bishan cell

five. myself

to complete a Thai language class

to finish reading at least one book!

to pass my GRE and apply for a scholarship

to master at least two new powerful english songs

Stress? I will survive!

Super duper stressful day today...but I survived it! Since the new year, my project has been a thorn in the flesh and that has caused tremendous stress, but today my system was kinda overwhelmed. Suddenly found myself rushing to complete so many nitty gritties. But I must admit that even though I was kept on my toes (probably worrying my colleagues to some extent cos' anxiety was written over my face), it felt good at the end of the day when I managed to clear quite a lot of the baggage.

As more and more dates get marked out on the calendar for meetings, meetings and more meetings, the gan jiong spider in me gets even more jittery by the minute. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining that I've too much work. Rather, I'm starting to doubt my own ability in managing the workload which is probably similar to what my other colleagues are having. Perhaps I'm not efficient enough. Perhaps I'm just to perfectionistic--every thing must be top notch to the littlest of details.

Whatever it is, I've just got to prod on. I've got to manage my time and learn to relax. But most importantly, I've got to involve God in these challenging moments. On the bus home from work today, it all just came to me that I didn't turn to Him throughout the day. In fact, I just read in my devotion this morning that He is the "Almighty"--nothing is beyond His power! Amen to that! I know I'll be able to pull through the next couple of months with His help.

I've survived the stormy days!

Finally, my PMS has lifted! Well, at least for today. Suddenly felt that sense of joy and that bundle of energy which were once so familiar return into my longing embrace! Sorry for the drama...but I can't contain that happiness. Things are starting to look bright again! Hopefully, it will sustain and see me through the next tumultuous and arduous period of completing my VIVA. It has been a long suffering source of stress!

Thanks for all your prayers, people! God had been so faithful to me. I had been suffering from abnormal heart palpitations for a while since 2004 (the darkest moments of my life--during my final year when I had to complete my thesis). The GP told me it was a stress reaction and gave me some sedating pills. Since then, they would come and go. They faded off for a while in 2005, but came back with a vengeance in 2006. When they did occur, I would feel breathless and uncomfortable. My heart would pump extra hard. But this year, during an altar call at Vivo City, Pastor Simon prayed for me and I asked for healing. Soon after, these sensations faded away slowly. For a few weeks now, they have not been occurring. Praise the Lord! It is truly His healing power that I've experienced.

Two pieces of WISDOM!

1. Heard this one at our Worship Gathering tonight from Brother Andrew who gave such an insightful and meaningful piece of sharing:

“Even a broken clock is right at least twice a day!”

Love this quote cos' it's so ingenious and makes so much logical sense! We tend to shut off whatever a particular He or She says, or slam whatever that person does, without giving the person his or her due credit or even at times the benefit of doubt. But if we listen closer or think deeper, we can probably discover positive things about that person.


2. This one's good too. Read it from someone's article in the ST forum:

"People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel."

I've no idea who said this cos' I didn't cut out that forum article that had the author's name. The important thing is that it reminds us that at the end of the day the thing that matters the most is the difference you've made in someone's life. It could be a postive experience or a negative one. But let's endeavour to be remembered as a friend and not a foe.

Phew...that was close!

Almost thought I'd be in serious trouble. Last night, I was having a whale-of-a-time with me mates from the office (had tremendous fun, you guys!). We had dinner at Far East and then headed to Coffee Bean at Borders for a chit-chat-talk-cok-sing-song-play-mahjong session. So much laughter and fun we had at the table....we even started making plans for a trip to Taiwan together (hmmm....wonder whether it will crystalise and bear fruit eventually but it's nice to think of holidays isn't it?).

Then something ominous took place...well maybe not to that extent. But somehow I just felt that I needed to leave (okay, I admit partly because of "War and Beauty", that latest Channel U Hong Kong show at 10 p.m. weekday nights. But anyway in the end I got caught in that horrible jam because the Jalan Anak entrance/exit into PIE was sealed cos' of a landslide or something to that extent...and I missed the show---okay, I can imagine those toothy grins on you monkey faces now -.-)

Anyway, fortunately I left earlier (not finding excuses, guys) cos' someone had been trying to contact me on my phone for ages and I left my phone in my bag and had no idea of that. I had done something very wrong (uh oh...) and got that person into trouble (not going to mention the details, just going to use this platform to say a big SORRY to that person and THANK YOU for your kindness and understanding). After contacting him and finding out about the mess I got him into, I took that long, slow dramatic walk back to the car. As I walked I just prayed and surrendered the situation to God.

Lo and behold, God answered our prayers. We were saved by his grace! Thank God for not letting us get into serious trouble. I think I'll probably exercise more caution now and not cause any problem for my friend anymore. He was very gracious and I'm really appreciative of his forgiveness (love you man...heh!) Guess I should also take it as a lesson from God to really put in effort to be obedient and to concern ourselves with purity. Sometimes what we think may be harmless does not make it a lesser wrong.

Someone wrote in my defence!

Today one of the senior writers wrote an article published in the Review Section of the Straits Times that advocated against shaming people using cyberspace by putting their photos online. Though he didn't refer to my article, his stand converged with mine! Isn't great that someone affirms your views? Even though he didn't directly quote me, I still feel validated. Yay, I'm not the only one that feels this way!

Many times we just enjoy the fact that people agree with us, don't we? It's similar to how women just like listening pleasing things to their ears (heh, aren't we guilty of that my fellow gender mates?). What's the psychology behind it? Hmm...and how does that affect our perception of dissenters or people who don't agree with our views? Is getting someone to agree with you a boost to self esteem?

Anyway, I'll continue to mull over that. But for now, got to worry about my VIVA (my research project for my first year of professional development). Pray that God will help me with it!

Permanent PMS!
Phew, luckily nothing has broken loose...

It hasn't been that good for me lately. Been having mood swings and feeling a lack of energy. Thank goodness I haven't gotten into any catfight or ruffled anyone's feathers (I think?)...except that maybe I accidentally caused someone's document to be deleted but thank God he was kind enough to forgive and forget.

But what I really want to thank God for are my colleagues who have been very nice and fun to be with! Somehow, today (and yesterday) as I spent time with various ones I begin recalling what I liked about my office culture. Though I'm beginning to see more and more of the underlying currents, I also realise that it is inevitable cos' personality clashes and differing opinions will definitely occur. But it's things like people trying to cheer you up when your morale dips, people listening to your problems, people that you enjoy talking with, people who encourage you when you are worried, that really makes a difference and helps you tide over the times when waves of doubt crash in.

In fact for the past few weeks, I've been fixated on leaving this place and moving on to further my studies. And I wished that it would be instant! But today as I walked around HTA, I also remembered why I like my job (the uniformed setting--cameraderie and friendliness; the mission of the organisation and the ministry; the officers that show commitment). I talked to the lady at POLWEL and chatted with her for a bit, and walked around HTA just admiring the facilities and grandeur of the place. Though we always complain about the inconvenience of travelling to this place and how ulu it is, I kind of have a fondness for this place and have a proud feeling towards it (besides I live pretty near and I get to park for free!). Though we always talk about the building flaws, it is an impressive looking piece of architecture. I would always recall the days when I stayed there for the residential HASO course. I'm just so captivated by the academy living conditions also (the mess, the parade square, the rock wall, the field, etc.).

Oh well, gotta keep my chin up despite that stupid PMS...it's mid week! Yay! One run of LCDC down!

Suffered the Triple 'D' Threat today!!!
Depressed-Disappointed-Discouraged

BUT...

Thank God for colleagues (who are more than colleagues to me!)
who show their care and concern for me by asking whether I'm okay...who are always willing to listen to me...I really love you guys and gals!

Thank God for prayers
was so frustrated (to the point that I did cry) this morning by work circumstances but I prayed and God answered them...was really thinking of packing my bags and leaving this job but I counted my blessings--the friends, my boss who is super supportive, and the work that I like doing! Received a timely sms prayer in the afternoon as well...felt touched!

Thank God for His goodness!
He's always so faithful this God of ours! I hope He'll continue to help me appreciate my circumstances and give thanks in everything. I pray that He'll also forgive me for times when I fall prey to negativity.

YAY! Survived the Triple 'D' Threat!

The Umbrella Principle

SAW that dude at the gym today again. Relax guys...not some eye-candy I've been drooling over while struggling to keep up with the pace of the treadmill machine. It's just this young chap I sheltered from the road to the guard house and then later on from the guard house to the lobby at my workplace.

Funny thing is that everytime our eyes meet (okay only on a few occasions while doing gym), there is this "I've seen you before" look written on his face. And I believe mine probably reflects the same thing. I don't know if he had recognised me but I still remember that he's the guy I shared my umbrella with on that rainy morning.

Y'know, there'll always be these people that you've met before or you've been introduced to but somehow you don't register their faces very well or there's this anxiety if you do acknowledge his/her presence, he/she may not recall who you are. Sometimes, you try to siam cos you don't remember their names (ok I admit, I've done that "despicable" act before...heh).

But anyway, that's not my main point. I'm supposed to talk about the UMBRELLA PRINCIPLE. What is this? It's another one of Char's laws, which is similar to the PAY IT FORWARD rhetoric. Maybe half of it? I've had three occasions (in my current memory bank) in which I had shared (or at least I had tried to share) an umbrella with someone (i.e. a stranger). And they all involved the simple act of giving a little shelter to someone caught in the rain. A very straightforward and easy way to help someone.

The first time (in my memory) was during IDOL AUDITIONS. In fact after that incident I wanted to submit my testimony to the Pay It Forward website...but oh well. I went well prepared for the audition that pouring morning (5 am...can you believe that??). Went in a skirt (cos' the legs of the trousers always get damp in the rain), wore an auntie, floral shirt (the button kind so my hair won't get messed up when I changed), and, and of course the main actor, the umbrella. So I queued up happy and satisfied with myself for good planning. The overnight queuers had to hide from the storm so the queue dispersed, but fortunately for them they were given Idol stickers so that they had their advantage when they progressed to the front of the queue. So I gladly jumped at the chance to queue at the front (well, not that front cos' it was really very very long...u'know idol fever right). Then there were three guys that came behind me and none of them had an umbrella. So poor thing cos' they were dressed in their best, ready to audition. So I decided to extend that simple gesture of sharing my umbrella with the three dudes that were so drenched. So three fellas and one little lady (that's me) were under my golf umbrella, trying desperately to get shelter from the rain. We eventually made it with a lot of other (inconsiderate) people that were trying all sorts to jump queue. Thank God the three guys with me had integrity (though they didn't have the vocals to match it) and refused to give in to the pressure. Praise God cos' I prayed as well. We finally made it to the head of the line where they asked for the stickers...but I didn't have any! Thank God that one of the three dudes was not auditioning but he had one sticker and he gave it to me! At that moment, I just knew it was God's hand cos' I extended that little help which was rather effortless and got help later on in return. Amazing isn't it? I really didn't know that I would need the sticker and was stopped from moving on. Fortunately that the two guys auditioning called their third friend to come and pass the sticker to me. Although they didn't make it to the next round, I would always remember their kindness!

The second time was a few weeks back when this funny looking auntie was held up by the rain at the Neuroscience Institute opposite my office. I don't know how it all started but a few of us coming back from lunch offered to share our umbrellas with her. When we were about to move off, someone came with an umbrella for her (she called someone to come with one). She thanked us and we chatted as we walked back. She seemed very appreciative. Now and then when we see her in office, she'll flash her warm smile and engage in friendly batter with us. It's amazing how people can connect over a simple act! I met her one day again and interestingly we shared umbrella again (rainy season lah)! We chatted heartily as we walked all the way to the MRT station. It was remarkable cos' we talked like real friends. She was so comical and humourous, and she kept saying something like "why a young girl like you want to talk to an old lady like me" (she's sixty....heh, she revealed her age to me). We talked even at the station, on the train...until she missed her stop...heh.

And of course, the third time...I've said it already. Okay so what's the point? After all my grandmother stories, all I want to say is that offering someone a little shelter caught in the rain is such a simple yet powerful act. It is easy but people will remember it because they received help in that time of desperation; in that time of self-blame where you hate yourself for taking the umbrella out of your tote bag after carrying it for so long during those sunny days; and of course in that time where they were almost going to step into Seven Eleven to buy that umbrella to tide over that day.

There were times when I stood at the traffic light junction at Orchard Road, waiting in the rain to cross the road, and I saw some people around me nicely shaded by their colourful designer umbrellas. During those moments, I would have appreciated kind souls lending a hand but I guess they just didn't happen. I'm not rebuking these people cos' they've done nothing wrong. However, they had the chance to do somthing to help a fellow passerby out and they missed that chance. And of course, don't try to act hero if your umbrella is tiny...you need to spare a thought for yourself as well :)

I guess after publishing this in my blog, I'm more obliged to do so and am guilty if I don't because that would mean I'm a hypocrite (ahh...digging my own grave). I'm not perfect but I hope I will try my best to extend little acts of kindess when I can. I hope when opportunities to help arise I would jump at them and offer aid. And of course, I'm encouraging you folks out there to do so as well!

Yippee...the weekend's over! Is she going crazy or what? Nah...just trying to psych myself up for the week. Got to psycho myself into looking forward to it...well, okay maybe psycho is too strong word. Praise the Lord that I've a great job and fantastic colleagues! Actually, I'm more worried about my project--been worried about it for ages since last year, pleeeeease pray for meee!!!--and I'm glad I'm back in the office to work on it...only for one day though (in fact less than a day)...cos' we'll be occupied with something else. Oh well, but what can I do right? Chin up and give thanks for your circumstances. Hopefully God will make this week a bearable one...okay let me set my expectations higher....God, You'll make it a fantastic week, AMEN!

Okay, I got a question to shout out in my blog. HOW DO YOU GET OVER DISAPPOINTMENTS IN LIFE? Not that I'm going through some major disappointment. No, no guy has let me down or broken my fragile heart (it is very fragile :)). It's just that sometimes I get disappointed by the world because I'm just an IDEALIST living in such a REALISTIC world (someone rebutted my forum article but glad that he admitted that my idea was noble ;) but I fully understand his stand). Funny thing cos' our psych training seems to embrace reality (i.e. "reality" cos' most of the time it's just our perception but it matters so much!). Guess that idealist in me wants to believe that realism and idealism can co-exist in the world of psychology. That's why I want to be a Existential-Behaviourist!

Anyway, I'm not going to deny reality but I want to soar above it. Oh no! Another one of my hopeless ideals...heh. I got some remedies for myself:

1. Count the blesssings in my life

2. Do good deeds for others

3. Talk to other Christians about God

Yay!

Help me Lord. I want to be your ambassador this year, to embody more of Your goodness and values. To be more compassionate, understanding, wise and bold. To be more obedient and trusting of Your directions. And to be more disciplined in ministry. Thank You Lord for Your promises. I want to believe in them and claim them. In Christ's most precious name, AMEN!

Was trying to put some add-ons to my blog, so I've put some new links to other blogs. Yay, such an accomplishment for a computer idiot! Anyway, got some improvements I need to make for my blog this year:

1. Less text.

2. More pictures.

3. More add-ons

There's so much to learn and experiment with blogging! Going to take my time and try improving it.

Anyway, today I had a wonderful day. My only regret was my failure to exercise. I wrote to the ST Forum in the morning (they are going to publish my article! Received a call in the evening...), then I went for a Jap buffet lunch with my daddy and mummy (food wasn't fantastic and service was poor and slipshod). After that my mum and I went to do a little shopping. Wanted to go to Borders to get some books for my GRE exam (aiming to take this year so must get some study guides). Was fun shopping with her! Later I'm going to watch the new drama "War and Beauty" on Channel U. Great day before work starts for 2007 tomorrow. Brand new start...whew!

Hello 2007!!
A Great Promise for the Brand New Year!!






Was looking out of my room window and I saw this gorgeous rainbow hanging above Bt Timah Hill. It was beautiful!

It was supposed to be a complete rainbow but I couldn't take the whole thing so this is the other half of it. In fact, on closer examination there were two rainbows, but you probably can't see the other one hanging over it.

Anyways, just think it's a brilliant way to start the New Year. Reminded me of the Noah's Ark. How God used the rainbow as a symbol of His promise not to send floods to destroy the entire earth again. Though mother nature may continue to wreck havoc, we can trust that God will bless us this year. Here's to a great year ahead! Happy 2007!