DOES IT PAY TO DO GOOD?

How many times have you done something good for someone and things didn’t turn out as expected? Recently, there has been a debate on the Straits Times regarding how Singaporeans haven’t been appreciative of little acts of kindness done for their fellow countrymen (or women as many of these deeds were done out of ‘gentlemen-liness’). Some men were complaining on the forum about some ladies being unappreciative of them opening the doors for them. Men didn’t escape the wrath of their fellow gender-mates either. There was a particular letter about two men getting into a little spat over a man not saying a simple “thank you” or demonstrating some little gesture of gratitude when the other, out politeness and kindness, left the door open for him. Then there’s also this huge thing in the papers about whether Singaporeans will be able to rise up to the occasion and spread a little kindness when the IMF/WB delegates do step on our soil and contribute to our GDP in September. PM Lee was saying in his National Day Rally Speech last week that “maybe four million smiles not enough”.

Anyway, when I reflect on what people have been squabbling about on the newspaper, I can understand why they get so upset. Anybody who is human will inevitably feel that sense of disappointment, of being let down; anybody will feel upset with the other person especially when special effort was being made. I suppose most of us just feel that it’s the natural order of things that good is repaid with good—hao xin you hao bao. However, at the end of the day when our expectations are not met what can we do? Just grit our teeth, bear with it and learn from this lesson: “It never pays to do good!” So how? Just don’t do it next time lor. We all learn the hard way. Well, if you can’t handle the disappointment, I guess that’s the soundest advice that can be given. The worst case scenario is lashing it out at the other party and landing yourself at the police station, or letting it wreck your day and spoil your colleague’s day when you finally lose your cool and blurt out for once honestly that her pink polka dotted dress is just so last season.

I’m sorry I’m not trying to be cynical nor am I trying to be pessimistic about Singapore aiming to become a more first world, civic society. Many people who have been to the States would say things like “Why can’t we be like the Americans? They even greet strangers on the street?” Firstly, if we do that people will think we siao. Secondly, they may think we are trying to sell them insurance or some kind of miracle stain-remover. Worst is they don’t respond and that makes us look ridiculous (How many times have we resisted going up to someone to say “hi” because we worry about them being able to recall who we are?). And I’m sorry that I also have to backtrack a little at this juncture and tell you why I was even inspired to make an entry in my blog today after such a “long” hiatus. It’s simply because I had an out-of-the-ordinary experience today on the bus, on my way home. Well, then again I had another one last week but was too lazy to jot down in my blog (Met a peculiar character on the 170 bus whom I unofficially diagnosed on my own as being schizophrenic). Okay not to sidetrack, today’s experience was as follows:

I was sitting on the no. 67 on my way home this evening at around seven-ish (I always have atypical experiences on buses, and I wonder why…that happened to me when I was in the US too, but I’ll write it down in my blog another time—that’s if I’ve got the time and energy). Anyway, I didn’t know why I was so fortunate to land myself a seat because the bus was filled to the brim, everyone was elbow to elbow in that bus. Then there was this girl from a particular JC—someone in along the PIE ya—who was carrying a stack of files and books as well as a huge duffle bag slung on her shoulder, that was standing diagonally in front of my seat. Seeing that this old Indian man standing beside her landed himself a seat, I decided to ask her if she would like to take my place. So I stood up and offered her my seat, but she declined my offer. Well, I tried right? So I sat back down on my seat. The funny thing was that although she rejected the offer she actually chose a second option—which didn’t really cross my mind, or rather never did—that was to “allow” me to help her carry her stuff on my lap. Caught off-guard I let out a quick and sharp “sure, no problem” (being the kind soul I usually am…;)).

Then we started making some small talk about the mind map she drew up on polymers (long-chained molecules for those, who like myself, have lost touch with ‘A’ Level Chemistry) that was stuck on the cover of her notebook, and the picture of Ah Meng on the back cover. I sort of joked about how she could do some last minute re-cap before her exam by taking a glance at the mind-map, and when she was too stressed out by that, flip over to the other side and laugh at Ah Meng’s picture. Y’know that typical back forth, back forth kind of conversation. Shortly after, the person beside me got down the bus so I shifted in and motioned her to sit down. She sat down, took her books back, and we continued the conversation mainly about school, exams, her future, her career, etc. She seemed so comfortable and spontaneous just chatting and sharing her concerns with me. I told her briefly about the JC I came from, what I studied, and what I was working as. She shared about how she didn’t like the nine-to-five (I just get the sense that nobody likes it—I’ve been hearing that for ages now!) desk-bound kind of job. I guess the best part for me was the opportunity to encourage her to pursue something that she had the passion for. I hope I did “impart” some pearls of wisdom in my conversation with her.

Anyway, we ended that 15-minute interaction on the bus with me moving out of my seat one bus-stop earlier to make way for this pregnant lady who was standing along the aisle. Did another good deed! Oh yeah, that reminds me there were also some Singaporeans who were talking about ‘aunties’ and pregnant ladies not being appreciative of their kindness when they gave up their seats on the MRT. Oh well, I guess it doesn’t matter to me because when I do do a good deed I get my ‘kick’ from knowing that I get an additional point on my ‘balance scorecard’ in Heaven! I’m not saying that I don’t get disappointed by people’s lack of gratitude or failure to recognise my efforts, but rather I’ve learnt over time not to expect it anymore. When I do something good, I just try not to expect some reward in return. Perhaps we could all adopt this mindset from henceforth and save ourselves from that disappointment.

That brings me back to the bible (how can I not bring God into the picture?), the famous story of Cain and Abel (refer to verses below). Did it ever occur to you why God rejected Cain’s offering? The bible never stipulated why God did not accept Cain’s sacrifice, and of course we believe that God definitely—without a single doubt—had a good reason to do so. Most would reckon that Cain’s attitude was improper, or his offering was not up to God’s standard. Proverbs 21:27 says, “The sacrifice of the wicked is detestable—how much more so when brought with evil intent!” God evaluates both our motives and the quality of what we offer Him. When we give to God and others, we should have a joyful heart because of what we are able to give. We should not worry about how much we are giving up, for all things are God’s in the first place, neither should we get upset over people not thanking us or remembering us for what we did for them. At the end of the day, all that matter’s is God’s opinion, not the opinions of men.

Life is short. That means that we have limited time to shine for God. Make hay while the sun shines; make God proud with whatever you can give unto Him and others. So that brings me back to the initial question, “Does it pay to do good?” Some of you would have heard my story regarding my experience at “Singapore Idol” in 2004 (the one on how I shared my umbrella with a group of guys who were standing in the rain—not that they were exceptionally cute, just to make sure that those of you who are suspicious over my motives don’t get the wrong impression—and received a huge favour in return that allowed me carry on with my audition—and no that’s not how I made it to top 45!). If you are familiar with this story, you would know that I am a firm believer of the “Pay it forward” principle.

To me, it does pay to do good. On earth the “payment” may not be commensurate with the effort dished out, but in Heaven one would be glad to know that every little deed does NOT go unnoticed in Jesus’ ‘archives’. Every single deed is worth a gem! No matter what there is always ‘payment’. Sometimes it may just be a simple smile or nod; sometimes it may just be a ‘good’ lesson learnt—no, I don’t mean from then on pretend to sleep and not surrender your seat to any nine months pregnant lady standing conspicuously in front of you—that it may be a good thing not to expect too much from people. God sees our intentions (the bible says in Romans 8:27 - God looks to see what is in people's hearts), we have to be sincere in our motives and not to do things to obtain the praises of men. That is easier said than done, but it is not out of reach with lots of prayer and reading of His word. And always remember Acts 20:35, “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”


Genesis 4:2-7
Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

There are so many tragic events--both natural and man-made--taking place in the world today. We read in the papers of hundreds of people being killed by bombs planted on trains; we hear on the news about the war in Lebanon between Israel and Hizbollah; the air travel industry was recently thrown into a state of frenzy by the unveiling of terror plots to destruct several aircraft in mid-air (imagine if someone you knew were on those planes, it could even be you!). What will happen if disaster strikes somewhere close to home? What will you do when disaster comes?

Some of us who wear our Christianity on our sleeves would probably be the first to surrender. Many others would like the Apostle Peter who declared, "Though all other deny Christ, yet I will never deny him. But he did. Three times. Still others, having stored up resources of strength and power, would be strong and courageous and would say, as the Apostle Paul did, "My power is made perfect in weakness."

Billy Graham once preached that "If we want to have resources in our possession for a day of disaster, we need to have a spiritual survival kit: God's storehouse of supplies for us." So the pertinent question is: "How do we gear ourselves with this survival kit?"

1. We need a firm relationship with God.

We must be prepared to meet God at any moment. Isn't it strange how we prepare for so many things except meeting God? Getting to know God and being able to call on Him is the first step in storing up for the storms. Getting to know God is more than treating Him as a casual acquaintance - its developing a deeper relationship with Him every day.

2. We need to learn how to walk with God in our daily lives.

Have you ever been asked, "How is your walk?" There are people who seem to be holding the hand of God throughout life's journey, but there are also people who are lagging far behind.

In the old testament, we read about Abraham who walked with God and was called a friend of God. Noah walked with God, and when the Flood came, Noah was saved. Moses walked with God, and when the hour of judgement fell upon Egypt, Moses led his people to victory Daniel walked with God, and he was saved from the lions' den.

God does not always pull His children out of deep water. Peter was crucified upside down; Andrew was tied to a cross for three days before he died; John was a prisoner on a desolate island; Bartholomew was beaten; Thomas was murdered. These men walked with God. And today we too have access to that same strength that the apostles did.

3. We need to read and memorize Scripture.

It's important to memorize scriptural verses and hide them in your heart. When persecution, trouble and adversity arise, these verses will give you hope and strength. They may even come in handy when someone you know needs encouragement. What verses have you stored up for the future?

4. We need to make prayer our priority.

We live in a materialistic world, but it seems as if we pray only during a crisis, and then between crises we neglect to pray. But we have so many battles going on that we should be a people of prayer! Our government needs our prayers. Our leaders need our prayers. Our schools need our prayers. Our youth need our prayers. Our families need our prayers.

Are we prepared spiritually for the increasing attacks upon us? We have "spiritual forces of evil" at work in our world. Depravity seems to be increasing every year. We need to be in prayer against those "powers of darkness." Miracles have happened when God's people have turned to Him in prayer. Nonetheless, it is imperative to remember that although God does not always deliver us out of catastrophe, but He promises to be with us throughout.

God's Storehouse for us!

Are we preparing for the storms of suffering? Or will we be caught without resources? The best way to prepare is to deepen our spiritual lives, to deepen our life in the Holy Spirit. Being filled with the Holy Spirit is an ongoing experience. When Paul wrote, "Be filled with the spirit," he conveyed the idea that we keep on being filled with the Spirit, like and ever-flowing spring. We have God's storehouses available to us at ALL times. When the resources are needed, they are there for us. So be prepared, so that when the "day of evil" comes, we will not be controlled by the circumstance around us; rather, we will depend on the resources of God.

What does it mean to "SURRENDER" to GOD?

Surrender

= yielding ownership, to relinquish control over what we consider ours: our property, time and our "rights";

= acknowledging that what we own belongs to God, and admitting that He is ultimately in control of everything, including our present circumstances;

= letting go of whatever has been holding us back from God's best for our lives, and whatever has kept us from wanting God's ways first.

To read more, visit: www.allaboutfollowingjesus.org/surrender-to-god.htm

As much as we always tell God to take control over our lives, our God also wants to give us CONTROL.

Genesis 2:15-17
15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16 And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."

God gave Adam the responsibility for the garden and told him not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. One may wonder, if God didn't want Adam to eat from that tree, why didn't He remove it from the garden altogether? Rather than physically preventing him from eating the fruit, God gave Adam a choice, and thus the possibility of choosing wrongly. God gives us these choices, and we may choose wrongly. Wrong choices cause pain, but they can help us learn and grow, and make better choices in the future. Living with the consequences of our choices teaches us to think and choose more carefully. God gave Adam the freedom to choose. Without choice, obedience would be hollow. Therefore, when we are faced with choices, always choose to obey God first (Adapted from Life Application Bible, NIV version, pg 8).

• God gives us the control.
• Take it and exercise it according to His word.
• Don't lose control to external circumstances--peer pressure, societal trends, family expectations, sinful desires, etc.
• Accept that control God has given you, fix your eyes on His will for you, and decide to honour Him with it through your actions, words, and thoughts.

It's been such a long while since my last post. It's getting harder to sit down and find the time and energy to post entries in my blog. Nonetheless, it's such a wonderful place to share my experiences and reflect on certain thoughts that have ran through my mind. And everytime I write in my blog, I just feel so motivated to share about God and His awesomeness. I find it so amazing that the God who created the entire universe, can be the same one that loves us so dearly and speaks to us so intimately.

Just came back from the Girls' Retreat, so there are lots of reflective thoughts that I have going through my mind. I'm thinking of how I want so much to be a positive influence on those around me; how I can demonstrate God's love; and be that woman of God He would like me to be. I also hope that God can continue to help me check my pride and obsesssions, and that He'll harness my talents for the use of expanding His kingdom.

Life is not a bed of roses. There are many difficulties and obstacles along the way that may stumble us. But God will always be there for us, and as long as we yield ourselves to Him, He will reward us in ways we do not expect. And I just hope I can always fix my eyes on Him, and be that wife of noble character to my partner by also being supportive, encouraging, and uplifting. I really hope one day God will grant me someone I can love, someone with whom I'll share an open and honest relationship with, and someone who can run alongside with me in this race for God.

Got scolded early in the morning today by one of the guests we invited for our function. I was more scared rather than angry. Didn't want to offend this person. Ended up breaking down in the office--kinda embarassing cos' I cried in front of my boss. Subsequently, my colleagues were like one by one coming to console me over the "abuse". That was real nice--not the fussing over me--the concern they showed. Really thank God for the people at my workplace. They are caring and encouraging. Guess that's largely to do with the nature of our profession as well ;)

I love psychology and am fascinated by mental illness. Many people have questioned me before on how I can reconcile religion and the science of psychology? Can a psychologist or psychiatrist be 'religious'? Today's meeting on Offenders with Mental Disabilities/Disorders got me thinking quite a bit. If people are driven to do certain things because of their mental condition, does that mean they are absolved from responsibility?--at least in our law, under some circumstances, they are. If people cannot control their impulses and do something wrong, that's equivalent to sin right? But what would God's judgment be?

If someone is mentally ill/disabled, the law may provide them with concessions (diminished capacity). So will God give these people concessions? Or is it just 'too bad' for them. I'll never know the exact answer but I guess there's nothing that we can do humanly cos' we just can't talk sense into certain people. Hmm...just some thoughts to leave us with--the whole entanglement between psychology and religion.