Today is my Birthday! And I just want to announce to everyone that I'm 24!! Ever since I started working this past one year, the fear of age catching up on me has been terrorising my mind (esp so because I suddenly lost a very significant goal in my life). But today I finally woke up feeling that I have nothing to be anxious about--life has just begun (esp when you've been working for a few months and you've can start rewarding yourself by buying little gifts for yourself)! I don't want to live in the fear of not being able to meet societal expectations, not being able to enjoy happiness as defined by society, not being able to achieve a certain level of excellence or success. Medical advancement has allowed us to add years to our lives, but the same progress in the world has robbed the life in our years. I want to live a happy life of service to God, of self-awareness and learning, and a life that makes a difference to many others out there! I want to love and be loved--to love and appreciate the little pleasures and treasures in life, to freely express and share the joy of God's love and goodness, and to see the glass half full and not half empty!!!
So I've decided to set some goals for myself:
#1. To finish a piano class.
#2. To stop binging! Going on a diet and hitting the gym again.
#3. To be a good Christian @ work--do my best in everything & learn as much as I can.
#4. To pick up a language (maybe basic Korean...so I don't have to read subtitles!)
#5. To travel the region and go for more mission trips.
#6. To go for the vocal classes, I've been putting off for so long.
#7. To take the initiative to ask friends out.
I know I won't be able to accomplish so many things within the next one year before I turn 25, with limited time and monnies...so....I'll be satisfied as long as I've made small steps to those goals. I'm going to learn to enjoy life and relinquish everything to God. I know He will provide the means to the path He wants me to walk on. I'm so glad I got Jesus in my life!
My birthday wish is that He'll bless my family and friends and that He'll help me to become a tent-maker wherever I am. Most of all, He'll help me to be obedient to His calling wherever, whatever.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Saturday, October 14, 2006
What is FREEDOM?
Read an interesting article in the Straits Times today. The author was describing how he had this compulsive habit of saying "White Rabbit" every single morning. It was some kind of tradition that he was inculcated with many years ago by his mother, when he was still very young. But this habit went on for years...and it became something he had to do. To him, freedom came when he finally managed to resist the urge to say it one fine morning--and subsequently thereafter. In a nutshell, freedom for him was removing a stubborn habit.
To me, FREEDOM means being free from the shackles of obsessions with worldly things--obsessing about eating and being fat, about whether I'll be disliked at work, whether I can excel in the things I do, etc. Worries and anxieties cripple and antagonise us; they draw us away from God's omnipotence and goodness. He will bring us through and enable us to weather whatever storms we face, as long as we remember that He is in control and of course obey and trust Him.
Freedom in the bible is obtained through believing and having a relationship with Christ. It was freedom (freedom from the yoke of slavery to sin) that Christ paid the price of dying on the cross of Calvary for us. It's a freedom hard earned; one that cannot be bought with anything in this world but a devotion towards and a willingness to serve God. Thank God that He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to free us. We have liberty--we may sin but we can repent and be forgiven.
Praise God!
I want to keep myself from falling deep into the well of worries. I want confidence in Christ to see me through the troubles and challenges life brings. Amen!
Read an interesting article in the Straits Times today. The author was describing how he had this compulsive habit of saying "White Rabbit" every single morning. It was some kind of tradition that he was inculcated with many years ago by his mother, when he was still very young. But this habit went on for years...and it became something he had to do. To him, freedom came when he finally managed to resist the urge to say it one fine morning--and subsequently thereafter. In a nutshell, freedom for him was removing a stubborn habit.
To me, FREEDOM means being free from the shackles of obsessions with worldly things--obsessing about eating and being fat, about whether I'll be disliked at work, whether I can excel in the things I do, etc. Worries and anxieties cripple and antagonise us; they draw us away from God's omnipotence and goodness. He will bring us through and enable us to weather whatever storms we face, as long as we remember that He is in control and of course obey and trust Him.
Freedom in the bible is obtained through believing and having a relationship with Christ. It was freedom (freedom from the yoke of slavery to sin) that Christ paid the price of dying on the cross of Calvary for us. It's a freedom hard earned; one that cannot be bought with anything in this world but a devotion towards and a willingness to serve God. Thank God that He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to free us. We have liberty--we may sin but we can repent and be forgiven.
Praise God!
I want to keep myself from falling deep into the well of worries. I want confidence in Christ to see me through the troubles and challenges life brings. Amen!
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Today was a wonderful day in my life! I would really want to remember this day because so many things that mean so much to me took place.
I woke up with apprehension because I didn't know whether I should go for this AGMI (Action Group for Mental Illness) Walkathon held in the afternoon. I was uncertain whether I should skip Youth Service to go for it (have to be careful to examine my intentions--dun wanna use other "legitimate" reasons to miss service). I prayed about it during my QT in the morning and committed it to God. I really wanted a peace of mind if I truly decided to go for it. So I left it to God to let things flow naturally and eventually I went there with a peace of mind.
I enjoyed main service praise and worship tremendously. I really felt God's presence as we sang those songs. The sermon spoke to me also. Today Pastor preached on "Peace" and I really learnt a lot from it--esp the fact that the night before my parents were a little upset over dinner. The three main messages were: (1) Peacemakers themselves are at peace with God; (2) Peacemakers make it their top priority to reconcile people to God; and (3) Peacemakers go to the root of the problem not just the symptoms. Essentially, Pastor said that one of the greatest marks of spiritual maturity was the ability to make peace, and that we're called to be peace agents in this world. I thought that was a remarkable truth. Peace is not only a sign of maturity, it is also a measure of humility--being able to be others-serving rather than self-serving; able to put down your own pride and bear with the discomfort of talking things through rather than sweeping it under the carpet.
Spoke to Anna after service and was greatly blessed by our conversation. I shared with her my desire to pick up skills to serve God in the mission field, or use my professional training as a platform to help people as a form of service unto Him. Was blessed tremendously by her encouragement. Also got to tell Pastor how much I've been learning from his sermons and how today's sermon spoke to me. I feel very enriched when I hear the Word of God preached through him. It's so practical and yet so fundamental. It stimulates me to think about what I can do for God, and also helps me question the way I want to live my life, to perform in the workplace, and basically my values and beliefs system. Managed to catch up with Heidi and Wendy too. It feels so good being able to share and listen to people who share the same spiritual values, beliefs and goals as you. That's really true fellowship--it feels so spiritually renewing, encouraging and recharging to converse with fellow believers.
After that, I went to the Walkathon at Orchard--it's to raise public awareness on the stigma against those with mental illness and to debunk some of the myths against PMI (Persons with Mental Illness). Got my goodie bag and a whole lot of brochures on mental health awareness. Got my nice, cool t-shirt with a silver ribbon. Really enjoyed the performances a lot--the skit moved me to tears but I tried my best to hold them back. Really made me feel for people who suffer from mental illness. The testimonies and the passion I saw really touched me, and I'm glad that people are actually advocating for PMIs. I would really hope to contribute in this area too. Got to meet some very distinguished psychiatrists as well so I felt honoured. But most of all I admired the courage displayed by the PMIs performing onstage. The walk was leisurely and I had fun chatting with friends along the way. Ate my Swenson's ice-cream too!
After that I rushed home to meet my parents. We were going to the Columbarium with my Aunties and Uncles to "visit" my grandpa and grandma. Really wanted to be there with my family so I rushed home as fast as possible. We went to the columbarium and later on went for dinner at Tanah Merah Country Club. Food was great and paid for (out of my uncle's generosity). I enjoyed catching up with my cousin so much. I felt that instant connection and I really hope that our family would always stay intact and so close-knitted. At the end of the day, I realise that family matters so much to me and I really hope we keep the traditions going. I'm so proud of my own heritage! And I'm so grateful for my parents and my extended family. What I am most happy with myself today was I finally plucked up the courage to tell my dad I loved him. I said it to him directly and that was what I was most pleased with myself today. Praise God!
I woke up with apprehension because I didn't know whether I should go for this AGMI (Action Group for Mental Illness) Walkathon held in the afternoon. I was uncertain whether I should skip Youth Service to go for it (have to be careful to examine my intentions--dun wanna use other "legitimate" reasons to miss service). I prayed about it during my QT in the morning and committed it to God. I really wanted a peace of mind if I truly decided to go for it. So I left it to God to let things flow naturally and eventually I went there with a peace of mind.
I enjoyed main service praise and worship tremendously. I really felt God's presence as we sang those songs. The sermon spoke to me also. Today Pastor preached on "Peace" and I really learnt a lot from it--esp the fact that the night before my parents were a little upset over dinner. The three main messages were: (1) Peacemakers themselves are at peace with God; (2) Peacemakers make it their top priority to reconcile people to God; and (3) Peacemakers go to the root of the problem not just the symptoms. Essentially, Pastor said that one of the greatest marks of spiritual maturity was the ability to make peace, and that we're called to be peace agents in this world. I thought that was a remarkable truth. Peace is not only a sign of maturity, it is also a measure of humility--being able to be others-serving rather than self-serving; able to put down your own pride and bear with the discomfort of talking things through rather than sweeping it under the carpet.
Spoke to Anna after service and was greatly blessed by our conversation. I shared with her my desire to pick up skills to serve God in the mission field, or use my professional training as a platform to help people as a form of service unto Him. Was blessed tremendously by her encouragement. Also got to tell Pastor how much I've been learning from his sermons and how today's sermon spoke to me. I feel very enriched when I hear the Word of God preached through him. It's so practical and yet so fundamental. It stimulates me to think about what I can do for God, and also helps me question the way I want to live my life, to perform in the workplace, and basically my values and beliefs system. Managed to catch up with Heidi and Wendy too. It feels so good being able to share and listen to people who share the same spiritual values, beliefs and goals as you. That's really true fellowship--it feels so spiritually renewing, encouraging and recharging to converse with fellow believers.
After that, I went to the Walkathon at Orchard--it's to raise public awareness on the stigma against those with mental illness and to debunk some of the myths against PMI (Persons with Mental Illness). Got my goodie bag and a whole lot of brochures on mental health awareness. Got my nice, cool t-shirt with a silver ribbon. Really enjoyed the performances a lot--the skit moved me to tears but I tried my best to hold them back. Really made me feel for people who suffer from mental illness. The testimonies and the passion I saw really touched me, and I'm glad that people are actually advocating for PMIs. I would really hope to contribute in this area too. Got to meet some very distinguished psychiatrists as well so I felt honoured. But most of all I admired the courage displayed by the PMIs performing onstage. The walk was leisurely and I had fun chatting with friends along the way. Ate my Swenson's ice-cream too!
After that I rushed home to meet my parents. We were going to the Columbarium with my Aunties and Uncles to "visit" my grandpa and grandma. Really wanted to be there with my family so I rushed home as fast as possible. We went to the columbarium and later on went for dinner at Tanah Merah Country Club. Food was great and paid for (out of my uncle's generosity). I enjoyed catching up with my cousin so much. I felt that instant connection and I really hope that our family would always stay intact and so close-knitted. At the end of the day, I realise that family matters so much to me and I really hope we keep the traditions going. I'm so proud of my own heritage! And I'm so grateful for my parents and my extended family. What I am most happy with myself today was I finally plucked up the courage to tell my dad I loved him. I said it to him directly and that was what I was most pleased with myself today. Praise God!
Monday, October 02, 2006
Just finished watching "Cast Away" (2000) with my parents. Fantastic show with an excellent plot and brilliant actor (Tom Hanks as Chuck Norris, a Fed Ex agent who gets lost on a deserted island when his airplane crashes into the ocean). There were several learning points from the psych angle:
1. Companionship--fundamental need for affiliation. Wilson was his only companion on the island whom he communicated with. Besides, displaying this need, there was one particular scene where he "argued" with Wilson, which showed the inner conversation that goes back forth back forth in our minds when we are angry with ourselves--the struggle between the ought or ideal self with the real self that seeks to rationalise and justify the deed done.
2. Purpose--sense of purpose or having a goal can keep one alive. Without the antique pocket clock with the picture of Helent Hunt, he would have perished. He knew he had to stay alive to realise that possibility of making it back to main land.
3. Resiliency--the human spirit can be so strong and yet so vulnerable at times. Having being put in such a situation, he had to rise up to the occasion and pick up survival skills. He had to adopt an active problem-solving approach to deal with that circumstance. When he finally got back home, it was an emotion-focused approach, having to deal with loss--of time and of a loved one. He had to ventilate his emotions and feelings to someone. Definitely need CISM man...
Memorable quote from the movie that Tom Hanks said towards its end:
"I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
1. Companionship--fundamental need for affiliation. Wilson was his only companion on the island whom he communicated with. Besides, displaying this need, there was one particular scene where he "argued" with Wilson, which showed the inner conversation that goes back forth back forth in our minds when we are angry with ourselves--the struggle between the ought or ideal self with the real self that seeks to rationalise and justify the deed done.
2. Purpose--sense of purpose or having a goal can keep one alive. Without the antique pocket clock with the picture of Helent Hunt, he would have perished. He knew he had to stay alive to realise that possibility of making it back to main land.
3. Resiliency--the human spirit can be so strong and yet so vulnerable at times. Having being put in such a situation, he had to rise up to the occasion and pick up survival skills. He had to adopt an active problem-solving approach to deal with that circumstance. When he finally got back home, it was an emotion-focused approach, having to deal with loss--of time and of a loved one. He had to ventilate his emotions and feelings to someone. Definitely need CISM man...
Memorable quote from the movie that Tom Hanks said towards its end:
"I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
Finished watching my second korean drama, Goong...PRINCESS HOURS. Really kept me glued to the screen for a whole week! It's the latest teen idol drama that's going to be showed on Channel U. Gosh, I feel so old watching but it's super nice!!! Anyways, I'd probably catch some episodes on TV even though I've completed the series. It's the story of a modern-day Cinderalla, a civilian school girl who becomes a Princess overnight when she marries the Crown Prince of Korea. Romance blossoms between the wacky gal and cool prince, and the eventually fall in love. Through her, he discovers a whole new perspective to life. Like the twists and turns in the story; the romance part (Awww....so cute); the music's awesome (went to buy the soundtrack today); the setting's fabulous; it really rouses all kinds of emotions and sets you on a rollercoaster ride-- you hate this person, pity that person, irritated with circumstances (how come the characters always miss out hearing certain things or catch others at the wrong time), etc. Hai...such things only happen in fairy tales...sweet sweet love...oh I'm such a junkie for such. Catch it ya on channel U every weekday night @ 7 p.m.--doing free promo for them. Picture above: (clockwise from top left) Lee Shin, the Crown Prince; Lee Yul, the Crown Prince's cousin; Min Hyo Rin (Crown Prince's former girlfriend); Shin Chae Gyung (Commoner bethrothed to Shin and becomes the Crown Princess).
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