WEIGHTY Woes
Siaming the bulge after the festive season?

This has been a year of compensation. Been making up for the lost time over the past couple of years in terms of hanging out with friends, participating in sports, but most of all eating a whole lot of junk as though I were sentanced to hang tomorrow and each meal were my last. Funny thing is we are always advised to spend each day as though it were our last. I'm probably eating as if there were no tomorrow. Perhaps that's just my way of exposing my taste buds and digestive juices to the delicacies before I start putting an end to my rampage for food, and seriously (and I mean really seriously) go on a diet.

Compensating for starving myself in the past, or for religiously depriving myself of Char Kuay Teow or Hokkien mee? I don't know. All I know is that my discipline has waned and my resolve has vanished. Perhaps it's time to start thinking of my future--I can't fit into four pairs of trousers at this rate I'll never meet my target of donning them on again! Somehow, that little voice in me just keeps goading me on to eat more and think less: "no hurry, just put on something billowy. Besides, I'm not dying to find a date anyway!"

All the times of ordering Yong Tau Foo, soup only no mee, has gone down the drain. The religious fast from french fries and McFlurry has been sacredly violated. Good thing or a bad thing? Good thing is it's only right that my taste buds not be discrimated from those of my fellow Singaporeans--they should be given some favourable treatment shouldn't they. I mean, I should learn to enjoy life ya? Bad thing is that it's getting harder to find clothes to wear in the morning, and I definitely don't have enough esteem to put on all the spagetti tops I bought in the prime of my figure!

Another bad thing? My heart's been pounding hard and rapidly. With so much talk about cardiac arrests and marathoners losing their lives on the road (imagine 1 in 50 000 in the US, die during a marathon of heart problems!)My health has taken a toil. This so-called stress reaction has accompanied me for a year now--more frequent nowadays. It leaves me kind of breathless too. In addition, my digestion has been giving me some discomfort. The stomach has probably been overworked badly.

For health and for the practical reasons of getting back into those four trousers...AND losing that additional 4 kg plus I've put on this year (thanks to all the tea breaks, conferences, and office bingeing), I have to resolve myself to achieving a new balance in my life--eating right and eating less. This will be the first resolution. I've got to take care of my health and be responsible with my body. So that means getting back on track with gym, eating healthily (no more snacking out in the kitchen at night!), and seeking help for my heart.

How to siam the bulge after stuffing yourself with turkey and ham (in case some of you were conned into reading this entire article for tips)? Go for light chinese food like soups and porridge; wack the fruits and vege to help you get all the vits and fibre you need (these make you fuller too); go for the grain (wholegrains and wholemeal); and load up on gallons of water (water cleanses the system, and makes you fuller. Sometimes I eat too much cos' I'm thirsty not because I'm really hungry).

In a world filled with temptations--in a Singapore ridden with enticing food--eating healthily is no easy feat! It is one that requires unflinching determination and tremendous discipline. Seek the divine. He hates gluttony (one of the seven deadly sins), and so I've gotta make it a strong dislike in my life too. Weighty woes? My greatest advice would be to pray about it. God is the answer to esteem problems, health issues, and helplessness with them. Amen!

The Nativity Story

Got to watch this movie courtesy of my colleague, Mona--thanks Mona! :) She gave me some free movie passes for this show. Nice to have such friends that bless you in these ways!

Really touched by this show. Right from the start when Mary received the vision from the angel it just tugged at my heartstrings and set the tap flowing. It was so amazing that a woman so young (probably 16) was able to bear the challenge of stigma (of being an unwed mother), of people doubting the calling she received, and not to mention the arduous journey she had to endure to reach Betheleham. I was so in awe of the tremendous faith that the characters had. They truly deserved our awe and admiration, these men and women of faith. Joseph for one was someone who was selfless and righteous (Mary's mum called him a "good man". When I watched the show, I was thinking how I would really want to marry someone like that too).

The most important thing that stood out in this show for me was that all of them, although took divine steps of faith and obedience, were equally "Human". Like us, they had to go through those internal debates and mental distress before they found the courage to act in faith and trust of God. Mary, though a women of faith that was beyond her peers, she was still a teenage girl with her teenage inklings--the way she showed her displease when she was bethrothed. The way Mary and Joseph feared throughout their journey of living out their obedience; Joseph willing to bear the shame of having a baby out of wedlock; Mary's parents putting their trust in their daughter; even the three wise men (who were by the way such a comical trio) displayed tremendous faith in deciding that they will follow the star for more than hundred days! Still, they were humans because they had to go through difficult times of deliberation and contemplation before doing what they did.

The other important thing that touched me was the sudden awareness that dawned upon me: the sudden awareness that if these people didn't choose to follow God's promptings and visions, then Jesus wouldn't have made it to earth (He probably would have somehow but the point is that these people's faith led them to perform amazing acts that brought about the miracle of Christ)! It's little deeds of faith in God and the obedience that follows after that, which can make such a big difference in people's lives. Though I may not be a Mary, whatever I do in faith may make a big impact someone else's life. Small acts can make big differences. The pain Mary and Joseph endured was especially tough given that time and era where society was conservative and traditional, and travelling across places was tedious and dangerous. The things we go through today may be painful for us, but if it means more can be saved, why not?

We need to focus on the goal of eternity with Christ and spreading the salvation message to be able keep us going for the Lord, just like how Mary kept thinking about her child who would become the Messiah and save the world. Let's learn to fix our eyes on the unseen, pursue righteousness in our lives, and live a life that translates the love of God into reality around us. This story has touched me and reminded me of how I need to be faithful and obedient to His calling. It also reminded me that I can be capable of such acts because if Mary who was equally human could accomplish these things, then so could I. If we allow ourselves to be fearful of human circumstances then many things won't come to pass. So let's always think with the ultimate goal in mind.

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Tan Seow Hon wrote an article for the Straits Times in the Review section on 23 Dec (if I'm not wrong), "The 'Scandal of Christmas'", which I felt was a very inspiring and encouraging piece to all believers. Some excerpts below for your reading pleasure:

1. "The more accurate picture of the nativity would be one of Joseph and Mary worn out and dirty, in a dark and dirty manger...as the bible suggests, Jesus is the King of kings and the Son of God, the conditions for his birth were certainly not what most people would expect."

2. "...why choose Mary, a virgin, to bear the child Jesus? She was bethrothed to Joseph, but they were not yet married. Why not let Mary become pregnant only after they were married? That would have seemed less scandalous."

3. "...God stacked the odds against the couple uniting to raise Jesus, and also against people believing that Jesus is who he claims to be--the chosen Messiah and deliverer."

4. It is the humble and the meek who will receive Jesus and inherit this kingdom, hence it would have been counterproductive to overawe the arrogant with the attractive display of worldly power."

5. "The sacrifice and determination of Mary and Joseph in the face of difficulties signal the type of life a follower of this Messiah is expected to lead. The providence of God in ensuring the survival of Jesus despite the decrees of the king to kill all babies who might be the Messiah assures the faithful of God's will prevailing."

"This story means so much to people all around the world. I hope audiences can relate to the film on a personal level and find some inspiration to get through their own challenges and difficulties" ~Director Catherine Hardwicke

Righteous ANGER, Worldly SORROW...

(Was inspired to pen down some thoughts today. Ended up driving a little faster (just a little) than normal so that I can quickly come home and get started to record my thoughts in my blog. There were so many scriptural passages racing through my mind as I drove along the PIE. Now, I'm having difficulty recalling them. Will try my best.)

"How do you know if God is real?"
"I mean...how could Noah's Ark been real?"
"How could Jonas be swallowed by a whale and then later survive?"

We all experience those occasional doubts, where God doesn't feel real. It seems as though everything (well, at least many of the so-called biblical truths we grew up believing) don't seem so believable anymore. We start to question; we start to doubt. Soon, that purpose we once struggled to live for just slips out of our hands, our minds...and our heart just begins to grow cold--to God and to His mission. Have you felt like this before?

A special someone to me (nope I'm not attached--guys out there please do not be mistaken :) Girls out there, I've got loads of time to hang out so call me ya?), asked questions similar to those above--about Noak and his ark, about Jonah, etc. Her queries boiled down to whether God was real. "How can these biblical truths be so far-fetched? And the concepts of miracles? It's just so impossible in the world we live in today. Where is the manifestation of God to prove that He IS real?"

She wasn't the only one. Many of us go through that phase of questioning once in a while. (What does this got to do with my title? Sorry haven't came to the main point yet; let me beat around the bush for a while.) So we assured her that it was perfectly normal to have such questions, but it wasn't alright to allow any indifference and coldness to God's word dominate her life. The answer the rest of us gave was that we knew God was real from the goodness we experience in our lives, which can be derived from Him--the good things he had done for us.

(Few days later I found a great answer in the bible to that question as well. In Exodus 33:18, Moses said to God, "Now show me Your glory". And the Lord said this, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But, you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." Soon after, God's glory passed Moses by, and He revealed His back to Moses. Moses' prayer was to see the manifest glory of God. He wanted the assurance of God's presence with him, and also desired to know that presence experientially--just like how we often desire to so that we know that He is real and that He is truly with us. But we are infinite and worse still, morally imperfect, so we cannot exist and see God as He is. To see God's back means we can only see where God has passed by. We can only know Him by what He does and how He acts. So what is God's glory? God's glory is revealed in His Mercy, Grace, Compassion, Faithfulness, Forgiveness, and Justice. Those are the manifestations of God in our life!)

Today, as we went Christmas carolling, I found another answer to it! God is in our lives when we experience that RIGHTEOUS ANGER and GODLY SORROW in our lives--when you feel that you are no longer 'part of this world': When you start to dislike things of the world, and feel angry about the human deeds that conflict that of the Word; when you feel that deep sadness when things are not right in your life, and feel a sense of repentance and need for God's forgiveness. That is another form of God's manifestation in your life, when we start to feel that we are "strangers in the world' like what Peter writes in the bible (1 Peter 1:1). Righteous anger can help drive ideals (not idealism) and the compassion to act. Godly sorrow in contrary to worldly sorrow, which encompasses a lot of self-pity and regret, directs us to repentance and change. Sad to say, the Christian walk is a challenging road lined with the awareness that people around you may not hold the same values as you do; the tension you feel when you need to stick to your own; and the need for boldness to be able to act on them. It's a tough road that gets even tougher as you know more and more about God because you become even more sensitive to minor wrongdoings that those spiritually younger may not be aware of.

So here are some bible verses of encouragement to those who are like me, still seeking God for the courage to stand firm and be bold in the face of such a challenge--to conform to the ways of the world or allow oneself to waver during such testing situations. It's hard especially when people will poke fun at that "holier than thou" image you appear to them to be putting on. That's the toughest part to overcome and conquer. And that's when you need to have a lot of self-esteem and confidence not only in yourself as an individual but also in the Lord.

1. The Beautitudes: Matthew Chapter 5, verse 10 says, "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

2. Matthew 5: 14-16 says "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

3. Romans 12:1-2 says "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

4. For those who are aware that they could be vulnerable during testing moments, and may potentially succumb to conformity, remember this: Proverbs 12:26 says "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray." Don't subject yourself to temptation when you know you are weak, just like how you won't walk into Ben and Jerry's when you are on a diet (a weight-loss diet that is; perfectly okay if you are out to gain weight or feast on comfort food)! Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14); evil company corrupts good habits (1 Corinthians 15:33)!

5. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Isn't this verse so empowering!

Rely on these verses in times of righteous anger and challenging times when you face that tension of whether or not you should give in to circumstances. Knowing is one thing, acting on it is another issue altogether. I go through life with that difficulty. However, I know it's something I must overcome to become stronger in Christ. And I know that being aware of it represents a new level of spiritual maturity in my life--the love for God and His word, a yearning to become Holy and pure like Jesus is.

Lord, I want to be more like you. And that means sometimes doing the unpopular, or at times being the wet blanket. That takes courage, Lord. And I need it from You. For blessed are those who are persecuted in Your name. Help me focus on that goal as I run the race for You. I want to follow Your ways for You are holy.

Dear Lord, I want to be that light that shines for You and not for my pride or my friends. Help me to act on my righteous anger and godly sorrow. Give me the wisdom to know how to react in such testing moments; to know how to find the balance in holding my ground yet making my Christian values known without offending others. Challenge me and strengthen me as you help me overcome these testing moments. Thank You, Lord. Amen!

I WANT TO LIVE EVERY DAY FOR GOD!

- Loving Him
- Serving Him
- Worshipping Him
- Praising Him
- Obeying Him
- Trusting Him

Whenever I went jogging in the past, somehow a flurry of ideas would storm my brain, and creative juices would begin to submerge my synapses. I remember always attributing them to God and treating them as inspirations from Him. This once familiar and motivating experience had been absent for a while now, but today it has made a comeback!!

Today, I went for the Stan-Chart Marathon at Marina. Did the half marathon (21 km); flagoff was at 06:30. As I head for the starting point, there were already many people in line, so I was pretty far from the starting point but managed to squirm through as much as I could. Anyway, the important point is that as I began the race I recalled how one of the pastors in my church once gave a sermon on how life resembled a marathon race. Many thoughts just flooded my mind as I ran that race, which were quite insightful--at least for me. Also managed to think of two submissions for SSS.

Go for the GOLD

(some life perspectives gained from my run; tips on raising the score on the meaning metre in your life)

1. "Run a marathon" - I don't mean it literally but rather go do something that you've never done before or something you've been procrastinating about. Be adventurous and challenge yourself. In the past few years I've been looking for opportunities to do novel things (mostly on my own) and with each thing I accumulated wonderful experiences and achieved new worldviews. For example, I tried for Singapore Idol during which I witnessed how God worked for me.

2. "I'm not here to run a 42-km marathon, I'm here to finish 1-km runs, 42 times" - Read this on one of the participant tags pinned to the back of the shirt of this Caucasian lady runner who was on the plump side. It was very mind-blowing for me cos' it is so CBT! She set small goals to accomplish the big goal of completing the marathon. "Victory" may mean different things to people, but the principle of setting small and achievable goals along the way can help us work towards that final success we want for our lives.

3. Remember to take pictures - saw a runner stop to take a photo along the way. Sometimes, we are to involved in the process of "running" in our lives that we fail to stop and reflect back or recall past memories. Of course, not asking you to always dwell in the past. But learn from it and move on like how that runner did. Throughout the race, esp at the beginning when I was still pretty energetic, I really made it a point to enjoy the sights along the way (did some people-watching too). There was this scene that I took of mental picture of - running on the road at Raffles area between two rows of skysrapers with the forward arrow marking on the road before me and a group of runners in front of me - really liked it (suddenly I felt as though I was in Boston). Enjoy the process of living your life; don't just savour the results but also reflect on history and live in the present.

4. People ran for different reasons - There were people who ran so they could eat their laksa after the race (written on some tags). One guy ran for God; another for his dad; saw one that ran for his wife and kids. There was one lady who ran with a tyre, styrofoam box and some aluminium cans, publicising her cause to save the environment. Everybody was doing the same action - running - but everyone did it for different reasons. We love our lives for different reasons; we do things in our lives for different reasons - don't be too quick to judge people by what they do, be gracious enough to give them the benefit of doubt by thinking about possible motives and intentions. Find your reason for living your life; what gives you meaning?

5. "Fancy dress competition" - Though we were all given the Stan-Chart dri-fit shirt as part of our race pack, some chose to be attired in their own sports gear, while others looked real professional with their power gels strapped around their waists and cool shades and MP3 players, what have you. Some people looked real sporty and atheletic with their bright and colourful dri-fit singlets contrasting their bronzed tan and Oscar-like physique. There were people who were "flashier" than others. There were also people who had weird styles of running. You'll see some people who are more outstanding in life. Nonetheless, it is largely a matter of choice, you can also choose to "wear that shirt" and make yourself prominent by adopting a positive attitude and standing out because of that. Of course, sometimes people who try to attract attention, attract negative attention for themselves. You can choose what kind of attention you want to draw to yourself.

6. Sucess stories can boost morale - Parts of the route had two carriageways because there were U-turns and we could see people in front of us running toward the finish line. Kind of 'observed' the recency and primacy effect. People will always pay attention to those that finish the race the fastest - the CEOs listed in Fortune mag, the woman of the year in Her World - the people who rise above their peers and make it big. But there will also be success stories of people who fell but bounced back, or people who hung on to the last minute (esp in races), the "last few runners" will also be remembered for not giving up even though everyone else have finished the race. Seeing some people who were kinda obese press on in the race was very motivating.

7. Supporters and encouragers - The committee organisised a "Runspiration" whereby they get supporters to participate in the marathon by encouraging and ra-ra-ing runners along the way. Of course they were also helpers who lined the route, poured drinks for us and provided deep heat along the way. These people helped in keeping us going. There will be people who are there to encourage us during various points in our lives. Be encouraged and encourage others around. Remember reading someone's tag which said "encourage me if you see me walking". Really wanted to but I didn't. That reminded me that I should keep praying for boldness and courage. If you feel down and lonely in your life, go run a marathon!

8. "Do your stretching!" - It's important to do your stretching before and after the race just like how in life before you plunge into any action plan, do your preparation properly. It is essential to put effort into the preparation. Loading carbs is just like gathering your resources. After that do an After Action Review to see what you've done well, what needs improvement and what opportunities there are in the future. If you don't do "stretching", you'll get your aches and pains the following day.

Whoa, I'm tired now. Finally recorded everything that I thought of on my blog. Can use this as illustration for talks next time. When I was running I reflected and thought to myself about how good my life has been thus far. No hardship or "real" difficulties (praise God!). However, most inspirational speakers have gone through some kind of adversity in their lives and have bounced back (that's why they got things to share) so I can never be one *sigh*. I probably need to accumulate and actively seek experiences to be inspired so that I got something to share. Okay, gotta stop here.

Second posting for today cos I've got some reflections that I want to pen down...

Over the past two days and several in the last two weeks, I've been involved in conducting some interviews with young inmates to find out more about their offending patterns and motivations to do crime. Though I'm amazed by what I hear regarding the backgrounds they come from and their complicated life experiences (which by the way seem to be more interesting than mine even though most of them have had shorted lifespans than myself), what I'm most encouraged by is the insight that they've shown and the tenacity they've displayed in the face of what most of us would define as adverse life circumstances. What can I complain when everyday I come home to a nice apartment, with good home-cooked food served on the table, and parents who not only pay for my education and other living expenses, while other people face the harsh reality of broken or dysfunctional families, being driven to desperation to do things just to make ends meet or survive, and be victimised by circumstances which are not within their control or not what they had a hand in creating.

Some families were complicated with several divorces and remarriages, and the absence of parenting or good role models to look up to. That worries me because the sphere of parental upbringing (very related to other factors like poverty and social influence) is so important, and recently reports in the papers have mentioned about the rising rates of divorce and people seeing marriage as a social consitution that can be broken easily if both parties are not able to make it work. Though on the plus side the stigma of divorce and remarrying has reduced, linked issues like step-parenthood (which could be good in some cases cos' a new parent may come along to fill the gap) can be a cause for concern. Therefore remarriage must be thought through very thoroughly by consenting parties--what they are putting themselves up against, the challenges and potential problems that may arise. Taking marriage lightly could mean rushing into it without full consideration of the future, which in turn could lead to poor upbringing of children.

Parenting and educating our kids is important business in society. Teens are vulnerable to influences. If they can't find the love and acceptance at home, they may end up seeking it in the wrong places. One generation can affect the next creating a domino effect and the vicious cycle can be perpetuated if nothing is done to rectify negative situations. For one, I feel that marriage must be taken seriously, and parenting needs to be given priority in our paper chase society today. Social problems stem from such root causes. Schools need to support this process of bringing up our children with proper guidance and sensitivity to the needs of youngsters today--how they think and feel. The government needs to be more in touch with the ground not only to know how to craft policies at the top level but also to renew their passion for what they are fighting for--the good of our people and nation.

We can't prevent many things. Growing up is a tough process. Not everyone will have smooth-sailing lives like I have, but it's how we brace ourselves and bounce back after being hit. Resilience is so important in a world where speed is gaining on us and things are becoming more and more complicated. I realise how much the salvation message of Jesus is so essential today. People need to know that there is a God that loves them. And God's "rules" are there for a purpose. He for one does not endorse divorce and I believe one reason why is because it doesn't lead to positive outcomes but many related social problems. Finally, many people are looking for opportunities to serve God, to go on missions, but right here at home in Singapore, there are so many needs waiting for us to go lend a hand in meeting them. The youths in the boys' and girls' hostels and homes, kids whose parents are in prison, ex-inmates released who need a second chance...all these people should be reached and they deserve to know about God. I really hope youths in good families and schools will appreciate their circumstances.

Blessing in Disguise

Sometimes things happen for a reason. Though we may not initially see why some things befall us, the outcome at the end of the day may well justify it all. Last Sunday I was very vexed over my project. I have problems finding people to fill in my questionnaires. I felt so stressed and burdened by it throughout that day. Although it's not solved yet, but I had little help from my Heavenly Father up there. There were church members nice and obliging enough to take time to answer my questionnaires. On Monday, a colleague of mine offered to help me get some of his fellow youth workers to fill in some for me (another colleague offered her help last week). I believe these are all little favours I'm receiving from God.

But one big "arrow" which struck me last week came as a huge aid from Heaven. The organisation I'm working for was to be assessed by external assessors for a prestigious local award that would determine whether more than 10,000 officers forcewide would get their welfare needs met for the next few years. I was roped in to be one of the staff being interviewed by these assessors. That meant a lot of reading up on the organisation profile to make sure I was familiar with our core values, mission, vision, etc. And of course the potential cost of being "blacklisted" if the award were to slip out of our reach. Staff being interviewed had to study, attend briefings, and of course be put through "mock exams" and the gruelling test itself--which didn't turn out too bad. God made it easy for me I guess. Somehow I found enjoyment reading the material. But the blessings that came out of it were the opportunity to hand out some of the survey forms to my fellow "sheep that were rounded up to be slaughtered" while they were awaiting their "doom"; got to know other officers from other departments and find out more about their work; and perhaps to up my profile in the organisation. I think I've learnt to appreciate the organisation and management more, and develop a greater sense of attachment to the organisation. Thank God for these blessings! He works in ways we may not understand but it's always to our advantage as long as we trust and obey.

Dear God, even though my sin keeps me from seeing the fullness of Your glory, I still know You are awesome! Only You are holy, and there is none like You. You are perfectly powerful, loving and pure. Since the things You created on earth, up in the sky and down in the seas even praise Your name, I am inspired to do it more! Only You could be merciful and mighty at the same time. Thank You for making these precious moments with You heaven on earth. Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty (Revelation 4:8). Amen.

~ Kristina Bubar

It's been a while since my last entry. Been a little lazy, I must admit. But the greater reason being that I haven't really been inspired to write blog on any particular issue. Nonetheless, I still wanna keep my blog going...

Took the day off today! Will be going to run some errands then make a trip down to Vivo City (for the first time) to do some shopping and get some lunch with my mum. Really looking forward to that. Later on in the evening I'll be sending my parents to the airport--they'll be flying to Shenzhen.

Just want to share a bit of what I've learnt from my QT today. Am reading deuteronomy now, and am touching on the parts on the laws--basically on punishment and restitution. Y'know, there's this perception that religion's very restrictive and "un-fun" because there are so many dos and don'ts. There are many rules that are spelt out very clearly and precisely in the bible esp in old testament. But I learnt today that many of these rules were placed or imposed by God with very good loving intentions:

1. Spelling out things precisely makes rules or guidelines very practical for our everyday living (so we don't have to deal with the ambiguity or find ourselves trying to bend around rules).

2. Rules help us to put our focus on God; they help us to stay on track and better worship Him in our everyday lives (e.g. first fruits given immediately to help us remember that God is the priority in our life and that if we give to Him first, He'll provide). They deepen our faith.

3. Rules demonstrate God's compassion because some rules or guidelines are crafted to protect the needy or those lower in society (e.g. those with regards to servants and women).

I hope that everyone will gain a new persepctive to rules. Always look for the good in things. When we break rules or disobey God's commandments and we get that tingling guilt feeling that makes us uncomfortable, let's always try to remember the long term gains in abiding in His ways. When we deliberate in our minds and battle against trying to do what's right according to God versus what benefits us humanly, let's remember that God will always provide somehow in the future and we don't have to worry about losing out. We're always winners in God!

Today is my Birthday! And I just want to announce to everyone that I'm 24!! Ever since I started working this past one year, the fear of age catching up on me has been terrorising my mind (esp so because I suddenly lost a very significant goal in my life). But today I finally woke up feeling that I have nothing to be anxious about--life has just begun (esp when you've been working for a few months and you've can start rewarding yourself by buying little gifts for yourself)! I don't want to live in the fear of not being able to meet societal expectations, not being able to enjoy happiness as defined by society, not being able to achieve a certain level of excellence or success. Medical advancement has allowed us to add years to our lives, but the same progress in the world has robbed the life in our years. I want to live a happy life of service to God, of self-awareness and learning, and a life that makes a difference to many others out there! I want to love and be loved--to love and appreciate the little pleasures and treasures in life, to freely express and share the joy of God's love and goodness, and to see the glass half full and not half empty!!!

So I've decided to set some goals for myself:

#1. To finish a piano class.

#2. To stop binging! Going on a diet and hitting the gym again.

#3. To be a good Christian @ work--do my best in everything & learn as much as I can.

#4. To pick up a language (maybe basic Korean...so I don't have to read subtitles!)

#5. To travel the region and go for more mission trips.

#6. To go for the vocal classes, I've been putting off for so long.

#7. To take the initiative to ask friends out.

I know I won't be able to accomplish so many things within the next one year before I turn 25, with limited time and monnies...so....I'll be satisfied as long as I've made small steps to those goals. I'm going to learn to enjoy life and relinquish everything to God. I know He will provide the means to the path He wants me to walk on. I'm so glad I got Jesus in my life!

My birthday wish is that He'll bless my family and friends and that He'll help me to become a tent-maker wherever I am. Most of all, He'll help me to be obedient to His calling wherever, whatever.

What is FREEDOM?

Read an interesting article in the Straits Times today. The author was describing how he had this compulsive habit of saying "White Rabbit" every single morning. It was some kind of tradition that he was inculcated with many years ago by his mother, when he was still very young. But this habit went on for years...and it became something he had to do. To him, freedom came when he finally managed to resist the urge to say it one fine morning--and subsequently thereafter. In a nutshell, freedom for him was removing a stubborn habit.

To me, FREEDOM means being free from the shackles of obsessions with worldly things--obsessing about eating and being fat, about whether I'll be disliked at work, whether I can excel in the things I do, etc. Worries and anxieties cripple and antagonise us; they draw us away from God's omnipotence and goodness. He will bring us through and enable us to weather whatever storms we face, as long as we remember that He is in control and of course obey and trust Him.

Freedom in the bible is obtained through believing and having a relationship with Christ. It was freedom (freedom from the yoke of slavery to sin) that Christ paid the price of dying on the cross of Calvary for us. It's a freedom hard earned; one that cannot be bought with anything in this world but a devotion towards and a willingness to serve God. Thank God that He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to free us. We have liberty--we may sin but we can repent and be forgiven.

Praise God!

I want to keep myself from falling deep into the well of worries. I want confidence in Christ to see me through the troubles and challenges life brings. Amen!

Today was a wonderful day in my life! I would really want to remember this day because so many things that mean so much to me took place.

I woke up with apprehension because I didn't know whether I should go for this AGMI (Action Group for Mental Illness) Walkathon held in the afternoon. I was uncertain whether I should skip Youth Service to go for it (have to be careful to examine my intentions--dun wanna use other "legitimate" reasons to miss service). I prayed about it during my QT in the morning and committed it to God. I really wanted a peace of mind if I truly decided to go for it. So I left it to God to let things flow naturally and eventually I went there with a peace of mind.

I enjoyed main service praise and worship tremendously. I really felt God's presence as we sang those songs. The sermon spoke to me also. Today Pastor preached on "Peace" and I really learnt a lot from it--esp the fact that the night before my parents were a little upset over dinner. The three main messages were: (1) Peacemakers themselves are at peace with God; (2) Peacemakers make it their top priority to reconcile people to God; and (3) Peacemakers go to the root of the problem not just the symptoms. Essentially, Pastor said that one of the greatest marks of spiritual maturity was the ability to make peace, and that we're called to be peace agents in this world. I thought that was a remarkable truth. Peace is not only a sign of maturity, it is also a measure of humility--being able to be others-serving rather than self-serving; able to put down your own pride and bear with the discomfort of talking things through rather than sweeping it under the carpet.

Spoke to Anna after service and was greatly blessed by our conversation. I shared with her my desire to pick up skills to serve God in the mission field, or use my professional training as a platform to help people as a form of service unto Him. Was blessed tremendously by her encouragement. Also got to tell Pastor how much I've been learning from his sermons and how today's sermon spoke to me. I feel very enriched when I hear the Word of God preached through him. It's so practical and yet so fundamental. It stimulates me to think about what I can do for God, and also helps me question the way I want to live my life, to perform in the workplace, and basically my values and beliefs system. Managed to catch up with Heidi and Wendy too. It feels so good being able to share and listen to people who share the same spiritual values, beliefs and goals as you. That's really true fellowship--it feels so spiritually renewing, encouraging and recharging to converse with fellow believers.

After that, I went to the Walkathon at Orchard--it's to raise public awareness on the stigma against those with mental illness and to debunk some of the myths against PMI (Persons with Mental Illness). Got my goodie bag and a whole lot of brochures on mental health awareness. Got my nice, cool t-shirt with a silver ribbon. Really enjoyed the performances a lot--the skit moved me to tears but I tried my best to hold them back. Really made me feel for people who suffer from mental illness. The testimonies and the passion I saw really touched me, and I'm glad that people are actually advocating for PMIs. I would really hope to contribute in this area too. Got to meet some very distinguished psychiatrists as well so I felt honoured. But most of all I admired the courage displayed by the PMIs performing onstage. The walk was leisurely and I had fun chatting with friends along the way. Ate my Swenson's ice-cream too!

After that I rushed home to meet my parents. We were going to the Columbarium with my Aunties and Uncles to "visit" my grandpa and grandma. Really wanted to be there with my family so I rushed home as fast as possible. We went to the columbarium and later on went for dinner at Tanah Merah Country Club. Food was great and paid for (out of my uncle's generosity). I enjoyed catching up with my cousin so much. I felt that instant connection and I really hope that our family would always stay intact and so close-knitted. At the end of the day, I realise that family matters so much to me and I really hope we keep the traditions going. I'm so proud of my own heritage! And I'm so grateful for my parents and my extended family. What I am most happy with myself today was I finally plucked up the courage to tell my dad I loved him. I said it to him directly and that was what I was most pleased with myself today. Praise God!

Just finished watching "Cast Away" (2000) with my parents. Fantastic show with an excellent plot and brilliant actor (Tom Hanks as Chuck Norris, a Fed Ex agent who gets lost on a deserted island when his airplane crashes into the ocean). There were several learning points from the psych angle:

1. Companionship--fundamental need for affiliation. Wilson was his only companion on the island whom he communicated with. Besides, displaying this need, there was one particular scene where he "argued" with Wilson, which showed the inner conversation that goes back forth back forth in our minds when we are angry with ourselves--the struggle between the ought or ideal self with the real self that seeks to rationalise and justify the deed done.

2. Purpose--sense of purpose or having a goal can keep one alive. Without the antique pocket clock with the picture of Helent Hunt, he would have perished. He knew he had to stay alive to realise that possibility of making it back to main land.

3. Resiliency--the human spirit can be so strong and yet so vulnerable at times. Having being put in such a situation, he had to rise up to the occasion and pick up survival skills. He had to adopt an active problem-solving approach to deal with that circumstance. When he finally got back home, it was an emotion-focused approach, having to deal with loss--of time and of a loved one. He had to ventilate his emotions and feelings to someone. Definitely need CISM man...

Memorable quote from the movie that Tom Hanks said towards its end:
"I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

Finished watching my second korean drama, Goong...PRINCESS HOURS. Really kept me glued to the screen for a whole week! It's the latest teen idol drama that's going to be showed on Channel U. Gosh, I feel so old watching but it's super nice!!! Anyways, I'd probably catch some episodes on TV even though I've completed the series. It's the story of a modern-day Cinderalla, a civilian school girl who becomes a Princess overnight when she marries the Crown Prince of Korea. Romance blossoms between the wacky gal and cool prince, and the eventually fall in love. Through her, he discovers a whole new perspective to life. Like the twists and turns in the story; the romance part (Awww....so cute); the music's awesome (went to buy the soundtrack today); the setting's fabulous; it really rouses all kinds of emotions and sets you on a rollercoaster ride-- you hate this person, pity that person, irritated with circumstances (how come the characters always miss out hearing certain things or catch others at the wrong time), etc. Hai...such things only happen in fairy tales...sweet sweet love...oh I'm such a junkie for such. Catch it ya on channel U every weekday night @ 7 p.m.--doing free promo for them. Picture above: (clockwise from top left) Lee Shin, the Crown Prince; Lee Yul, the Crown Prince's cousin; Min Hyo Rin (Crown Prince's former girlfriend); Shin Chae Gyung (Commoner bethrothed to Shin and becomes the Crown Princess).

"Out of sight, out of mind" vs.
"Absense makes the heart grow fonder"?

Hmm...not too sure what to blog about today...but I really wanna make a new entry. Humans are a fascinating lot aren't we? Is it possible to be so madly in love with someone in the past, but have absolutely no feelings whatsoever anymore? Been watching "My Name is Kim Sam Soon"... gonna complete the whole series soon. It's really funny and cute, but what intrigued me was how Jin Hun, the male lead, could suddenly regain his feelings for his first love and then the next moment realises that he had fallen in love with Sam Soon. Perhaps it's like what my colleague said, when Hee Jin (the first love whom I think is really pretty, charming and fun) came back after leaving for the States for three years without any phone call whatsoever, all the memories came back to Jin Hun and he thought and assumed that he still loved her...or apparently so. Subsequently, he realised that the one he really liked was Sam Soon. After thinking about what my colleague hypothesised and reflecting on it, I guess it's possible. You can be so attached to someone in the past, but absence does not make the heart grow fonder, human feelings are not like God's love for us--constant and everlasting--they waver...they can fade. Memories no matter how strong they are can only trigger nostalgia, but they can be buried deep in the heart and never resurface to see the light again. We're all so spoilt for novelty. Check out the Straits Times and you'll see tons of adverts promoting different sorts of mooncakes--healthy ones w/ strawberry yoghurt and muesli, local faves like chempedek and durian, ice-cream-filled ones like sticky choc and old fashioned vanilla. Sometimes when you know someone so well, spending time with that person becomes so predictable and in worse situations, boring. Are all romantic relationships bound for that outcome? Maybe that's why relationship experts always suggest that couples occasionally inject some novelty (I mean new activities...don't think 'crooked' please) into their relationship by doing something different. Relationships require effort...."out of sight, out of mind"...especially when there are other fun stuff keeping you occupied. Am I adopting a very morbid outlook toward relationships? Anyways, one thing for sure is that some human relationships can be very circumstantial--ammenable to change by situational factors--but God will never sever ties with us. He's unchanging and His unceasing love endures forever. Whatever it is, relationships require effort, be it human or divine. With God, we need to seek Him daily in our quiet time, praise and worship at church, through good times, through trials and tribulation...With humans, it's spending time together and expressing our affection for each other through words and actions. As long as God is in the picture, He can be the cement between the couple and seal their relationship as one. Obedience to God is the essence to a lasting romantic relationshipbetween a Christian couple. Well, going to finish watching the Korean drama serial...the first ever I've completed...really like it. Am a 'Sam Soon' fan now--she's simply hillarious!

Confessions of an OBSESSIVE Foodie

I'm driving myself crazy with my eating habits! And when I mean 'crazy', I refer to 'paranoia', 'obsessive', 'depression' and 'anxiety'--pre-onset symptoms of psychological dysfunction. No exaggerations. This is a cry for help; a signal of distress; an SOS call! Funny thing is I have this unusual calm on the exterior, but an uncontrollable emotional tug-of-war raging in my mind that transmits guilt impulses throughout my entire system. It's spawning into some kind of learned helplessness (it began as something that I felt I was in full control of--that I could adjust my eating habits and diet anytime, and go back to the old school where discipline reigned and char kuay teow didn't matter--I mean this figuratively, not exactly a die-hard fan of the 'delicacy'). Help, Lord!

Everything seems to be working against me: the ongoing International Makan Festival seems to dole out food by the min; the stash at my house keeps crying out to me; and the lust for food extends to the marketplace--the best hokkien mee, Japanese novelty desserts, Chendol ice-cream, mee siam (mai hum), etc...I miss the days when tuna in a can was so gratifying and slices of softmeal were heavenly. Now, my palates are being spoilt for choice and being tantalised everyday. My fridge gets frequent visits and the screws attached to the cupboard doors in my kitchen are loosening each day. My stomach is a Black Hole!

Guilt sets in and spurs me on to run more and more every week. Then confusion sets in and I don't know whether my increased appetite is due to the rise in metabolism or pure gluttony. And I ask myself when can I fit into my two pairs of jeans that I cannot buckle anymore when I put them on now (three actually, haven't tried my skinny jeans which are so 'in' now but I lack the courage to take that stab). My booty's going to match J Lo's soon--sad to say I don't have her tiny waist and killer curves.

I need help...I need to keep to my word (I've been telling myself to diet for weeks now--strictly speaking I am on one...a sinful carbs and sugar-ladan diet!). I want to have balance in my life. Not turn vegan or become a 'Kate Moss'--or in Sing context a "Pat Mok"! I just want to be slim again and not stumpy lil' Dopey from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (and defintely not dress like him too...to conceal the unsightly flab!) Yikes, my dad just called me "bak bak(4)". There was this recent article in the Life section about this guy who was dissing girls who pecked at their food and counted calories religiously (I used to be like that and of course slimmer, not too sure whether happier though). No, I don't want to be a guy detractor!

Nowadays I enjoy my food tremendously (feel liberated after my 'breaking of fast' of 'sinful' food). The shiokness spells it all on my face and I guess people around me are amazed initially by the immense gratification I display, but even more stunned by my humongous appetite for a 'still' petite and tiny-framed gal. Been getting more signs that I need to take drastic action about my diet--among them was "shou(4) shen(1) nan(2) nu(3)" on Channel U yesterday starring Andy Lau and Sammie Cheng who were trying to desperately lose weight. Looking at the mirror's becoming as dreadful as seeing my report card after a lousy lit paper. That's why my back's been suffering cos' of the killer heels I've been wearing to deceive myself of my stumpiness.

My new role-model is Drew Barrymore. It always amazes me how she manages to survive in an industry where stockiness is valued and just a inch of flab bulging from your stomach is captured and ridiculed at in the 'un-glam' section of People magazine. She's so comfortable being in her own skin (wanted to quote something she said that was featured in "Her World" but can't recall the exact words...something about rather being fat than not eat properly). Really admire that. Below are some other quotes from her that I quite like. Find her remarkable also because she had survived drugs and depression, with a wonderfully positive attitude and zest for life.

Gotta start praying for discipline and for food to not govern my life anymore. Sometimes I feel that I'm just filling the emptiness in my life with food. I hate that! I want it back to the way it was before, when calories didn't matter and hunger pangs didn't torment me. Help, Lord. I need Your divine hand in this. My mind has no rein over my desires anymore. Take control and rid me of this horrible 'idol' I need to cease kow-towing to. Help Lord. This is my cry of desperation and plea. I don't want to be a slave to my taste buds anymore. Take control, take the wheel and steer me out of this obsession. Thank you Lord. I put my faith in You alone. Help me not to take things into my own hands but rely on Your strength and wisdom. Praise be to You alone, Amen.

Drew Barrymore quotes:

1. God made a very obvious choice when he made me voluptuous; why would I go against what he decided for me? My limbs work, so I'm not going to complain about the way my body is shaped. Drew Barrymore

2. I believe that everything happens for a reason, but I think it's important to seek out that reason - that's how we learn. Drew Barrymore

3. I don't want to be stinky poo poo girl, I want to be happy flower child.

4. I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what made you into who you are in the end. Drew Barrymore

5. I never want to get to the point where it's all about my needs, and the hell with anybody else. Drew Barrymore

6. I understand there are inevitable things that we have to go through: heartbreak, famly problems. I don't feel like some quixotic idiot who says, 'We don't have to feel pain.' No! Let's feel it, let's make it work for ourselves. But I want us all to be able to get past it. Drew Barrymore

7. I used to look in the mirror and feel shame, I look in the mirror now and I absolutely love myself. Drew Barrymore

8. I want people to be blown away when I do what they don't expect. Drew Barrymore

9. It's only through listening that you learn, and I never want to stop learning. Drew Barrymore Kisses, even to the air, are beautiful. Drew Barrymore

10. Life is very interesting... in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths. Drew Barrymore

11. My whole life, I've wanted to feel comfortable in my skin. It's the most liberating thing in the world. Drew Barrymore

12. There's something liberating about not pretending. Dare to embarrass yourself. Risk. Drew Barrymore

13. When things are perfect, that's when you need to worry most. Drew Barrymore

14. When you've been locked up in a mental institution, people are going to ask questions. It was OK, because I didn't have to act perfect all the time. Drew Barrymore

15. You've just got to do the best that you can. Drew Barrymore

BE TRANSFORMED!
Don't just go to church to be touched by God; be transformed.

Was invited to a powerful service on Sat evening by my friend. The worship was awesome. The worship leader was really annointed and gifted. Really enjoyed the experience with God. Was also very inspired during the service. Noted down a lot of worshipleading techniques that were excellent. Hope to apply them soon. Particularly memorable messages include the one above, as well as how God can go easily go unrecognised even when we're in His presence--focus on God and not the self.

STOP WHINNING!

There are many “SHOULDs” in life: “We should study hard and make our parents proud”; “We should not speak against the government”; “We should do whatever our parents tell us to do”; “We should get a university degree if not we cannot make it in life”; etc. There are so many unwritten “rules” that people sprout, especially in Singapore. In recent weeks, many foreign organisations are criticising our “lack of democracy” and “freedom of expression and speech”. Many civil organisations have appealed to the IMF/WB committee to request that they approach the government to grant them the right to protest. Singapore has however remained firm in her stand.

My point is...when we are given instructions to do things, e.g. in the office we are always ‘picked on’ to do errands that are either beyond our duties or on last minute notice, we need to try our best to meet that request. Many times things may not seem to flow with how we feel and would like, but we always have to remember our higher calling--to submit to authorities (see bible verses below). That’s not the tough part. The most difficult part is doing is without complaint. That’s a challenge because we all always fall into the “whining” trap. What's the point if we do things so grudgingly. That's not being Christ-like.

That doesn’t mean allowing ourselves to be exploited. We should be allowed to assert ourselves and our rights to a certain extent. But before we do that, always try to give others’ the benefit of the doubt by thinking in their shoes (“Did she give me that task to do only now because she had to wait for someone else to do his/her part?” “Is there a lack of manpower that is why I’m asked to do this?”). Learn to weigh the circumstances before jumping to a conclusion that the person's just a "mean old hag".

If you realise external circumstances like these do not exist and the person keeps “exploiting” you, then assert yourself politely but firmly. Never attack the person but express your feelings gently. If you don’t you may end up nursing a grudge, acting out some form of passive-aggression, or worst you could die unhappily and disgruntled at a much younger age than you could’ve potentially lived till if not for that latent anger that you’ve been carrying for the past decade! Remember, assert respectfully.

Submission to Rulers and Masters

13Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, 14or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. 15For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. 16Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. 17Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.

18Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. 19For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. 20But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. 22"He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth." 23When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 24He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. 25For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

Whoa...it's been a while since my last entry. Don't really know what to blog now actually. Been quite tied up with stuff lately, but somehow things are still manageable. Praise the Lord! Think He's been arranging everything pretty neatly and nicely for me these past two weeks.

Somehow, I'm looking forward to my life each day. Feel a sense of optimism and gladness that I can serve the Lord in what I do each day and I want so much to be able to reflect His greatness and goodness in my life. That's why I'm going for the mission trip in Nov and another one in Dec. Can't wait to serve Him!

No inspiration on anything to share today. Just want to say that one's ATTITUDE does matter. In Psych, we learn so much about perception and its effect on the way we approach things or choose to react to circumstances. Just like how I choose to adopt a positive slant to rainy days. One day, I entered the lift with my colleague and he started talking about the rainy weather and how sian it made him feel. What came out of my mouth seemed so reflexive..."Yay, at least I don't have to water the plants!"

Sometimes, we need to learn to sieve out something positive out of a negative situation. The Lord may choose certain difficult circumstances to mold us into stronger beings. Remember, "a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor men perfected without trials". Learn to look at things in a positive light and life would definitely becoming worth the living!

Cheers!

DOES IT PAY TO DO GOOD?

How many times have you done something good for someone and things didn’t turn out as expected? Recently, there has been a debate on the Straits Times regarding how Singaporeans haven’t been appreciative of little acts of kindness done for their fellow countrymen (or women as many of these deeds were done out of ‘gentlemen-liness’). Some men were complaining on the forum about some ladies being unappreciative of them opening the doors for them. Men didn’t escape the wrath of their fellow gender-mates either. There was a particular letter about two men getting into a little spat over a man not saying a simple “thank you” or demonstrating some little gesture of gratitude when the other, out politeness and kindness, left the door open for him. Then there’s also this huge thing in the papers about whether Singaporeans will be able to rise up to the occasion and spread a little kindness when the IMF/WB delegates do step on our soil and contribute to our GDP in September. PM Lee was saying in his National Day Rally Speech last week that “maybe four million smiles not enough”.

Anyway, when I reflect on what people have been squabbling about on the newspaper, I can understand why they get so upset. Anybody who is human will inevitably feel that sense of disappointment, of being let down; anybody will feel upset with the other person especially when special effort was being made. I suppose most of us just feel that it’s the natural order of things that good is repaid with good—hao xin you hao bao. However, at the end of the day when our expectations are not met what can we do? Just grit our teeth, bear with it and learn from this lesson: “It never pays to do good!” So how? Just don’t do it next time lor. We all learn the hard way. Well, if you can’t handle the disappointment, I guess that’s the soundest advice that can be given. The worst case scenario is lashing it out at the other party and landing yourself at the police station, or letting it wreck your day and spoil your colleague’s day when you finally lose your cool and blurt out for once honestly that her pink polka dotted dress is just so last season.

I’m sorry I’m not trying to be cynical nor am I trying to be pessimistic about Singapore aiming to become a more first world, civic society. Many people who have been to the States would say things like “Why can’t we be like the Americans? They even greet strangers on the street?” Firstly, if we do that people will think we siao. Secondly, they may think we are trying to sell them insurance or some kind of miracle stain-remover. Worst is they don’t respond and that makes us look ridiculous (How many times have we resisted going up to someone to say “hi” because we worry about them being able to recall who we are?). And I’m sorry that I also have to backtrack a little at this juncture and tell you why I was even inspired to make an entry in my blog today after such a “long” hiatus. It’s simply because I had an out-of-the-ordinary experience today on the bus, on my way home. Well, then again I had another one last week but was too lazy to jot down in my blog (Met a peculiar character on the 170 bus whom I unofficially diagnosed on my own as being schizophrenic). Okay not to sidetrack, today’s experience was as follows:

I was sitting on the no. 67 on my way home this evening at around seven-ish (I always have atypical experiences on buses, and I wonder why…that happened to me when I was in the US too, but I’ll write it down in my blog another time—that’s if I’ve got the time and energy). Anyway, I didn’t know why I was so fortunate to land myself a seat because the bus was filled to the brim, everyone was elbow to elbow in that bus. Then there was this girl from a particular JC—someone in along the PIE ya—who was carrying a stack of files and books as well as a huge duffle bag slung on her shoulder, that was standing diagonally in front of my seat. Seeing that this old Indian man standing beside her landed himself a seat, I decided to ask her if she would like to take my place. So I stood up and offered her my seat, but she declined my offer. Well, I tried right? So I sat back down on my seat. The funny thing was that although she rejected the offer she actually chose a second option—which didn’t really cross my mind, or rather never did—that was to “allow” me to help her carry her stuff on my lap. Caught off-guard I let out a quick and sharp “sure, no problem” (being the kind soul I usually am…;)).

Then we started making some small talk about the mind map she drew up on polymers (long-chained molecules for those, who like myself, have lost touch with ‘A’ Level Chemistry) that was stuck on the cover of her notebook, and the picture of Ah Meng on the back cover. I sort of joked about how she could do some last minute re-cap before her exam by taking a glance at the mind-map, and when she was too stressed out by that, flip over to the other side and laugh at Ah Meng’s picture. Y’know that typical back forth, back forth kind of conversation. Shortly after, the person beside me got down the bus so I shifted in and motioned her to sit down. She sat down, took her books back, and we continued the conversation mainly about school, exams, her future, her career, etc. She seemed so comfortable and spontaneous just chatting and sharing her concerns with me. I told her briefly about the JC I came from, what I studied, and what I was working as. She shared about how she didn’t like the nine-to-five (I just get the sense that nobody likes it—I’ve been hearing that for ages now!) desk-bound kind of job. I guess the best part for me was the opportunity to encourage her to pursue something that she had the passion for. I hope I did “impart” some pearls of wisdom in my conversation with her.

Anyway, we ended that 15-minute interaction on the bus with me moving out of my seat one bus-stop earlier to make way for this pregnant lady who was standing along the aisle. Did another good deed! Oh yeah, that reminds me there were also some Singaporeans who were talking about ‘aunties’ and pregnant ladies not being appreciative of their kindness when they gave up their seats on the MRT. Oh well, I guess it doesn’t matter to me because when I do do a good deed I get my ‘kick’ from knowing that I get an additional point on my ‘balance scorecard’ in Heaven! I’m not saying that I don’t get disappointed by people’s lack of gratitude or failure to recognise my efforts, but rather I’ve learnt over time not to expect it anymore. When I do something good, I just try not to expect some reward in return. Perhaps we could all adopt this mindset from henceforth and save ourselves from that disappointment.

That brings me back to the bible (how can I not bring God into the picture?), the famous story of Cain and Abel (refer to verses below). Did it ever occur to you why God rejected Cain’s offering? The bible never stipulated why God did not accept Cain’s sacrifice, and of course we believe that God definitely—without a single doubt—had a good reason to do so. Most would reckon that Cain’s attitude was improper, or his offering was not up to God’s standard. Proverbs 21:27 says, “The sacrifice of the wicked is detestable—how much more so when brought with evil intent!” God evaluates both our motives and the quality of what we offer Him. When we give to God and others, we should have a joyful heart because of what we are able to give. We should not worry about how much we are giving up, for all things are God’s in the first place, neither should we get upset over people not thanking us or remembering us for what we did for them. At the end of the day, all that matter’s is God’s opinion, not the opinions of men.

Life is short. That means that we have limited time to shine for God. Make hay while the sun shines; make God proud with whatever you can give unto Him and others. So that brings me back to the initial question, “Does it pay to do good?” Some of you would have heard my story regarding my experience at “Singapore Idol” in 2004 (the one on how I shared my umbrella with a group of guys who were standing in the rain—not that they were exceptionally cute, just to make sure that those of you who are suspicious over my motives don’t get the wrong impression—and received a huge favour in return that allowed me carry on with my audition—and no that’s not how I made it to top 45!). If you are familiar with this story, you would know that I am a firm believer of the “Pay it forward” principle.

To me, it does pay to do good. On earth the “payment” may not be commensurate with the effort dished out, but in Heaven one would be glad to know that every little deed does NOT go unnoticed in Jesus’ ‘archives’. Every single deed is worth a gem! No matter what there is always ‘payment’. Sometimes it may just be a simple smile or nod; sometimes it may just be a ‘good’ lesson learnt—no, I don’t mean from then on pretend to sleep and not surrender your seat to any nine months pregnant lady standing conspicuously in front of you—that it may be a good thing not to expect too much from people. God sees our intentions (the bible says in Romans 8:27 - God looks to see what is in people's hearts), we have to be sincere in our motives and not to do things to obtain the praises of men. That is easier said than done, but it is not out of reach with lots of prayer and reading of His word. And always remember Acts 20:35, “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”


Genesis 4:2-7
Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

There are so many tragic events--both natural and man-made--taking place in the world today. We read in the papers of hundreds of people being killed by bombs planted on trains; we hear on the news about the war in Lebanon between Israel and Hizbollah; the air travel industry was recently thrown into a state of frenzy by the unveiling of terror plots to destruct several aircraft in mid-air (imagine if someone you knew were on those planes, it could even be you!). What will happen if disaster strikes somewhere close to home? What will you do when disaster comes?

Some of us who wear our Christianity on our sleeves would probably be the first to surrender. Many others would like the Apostle Peter who declared, "Though all other deny Christ, yet I will never deny him. But he did. Three times. Still others, having stored up resources of strength and power, would be strong and courageous and would say, as the Apostle Paul did, "My power is made perfect in weakness."

Billy Graham once preached that "If we want to have resources in our possession for a day of disaster, we need to have a spiritual survival kit: God's storehouse of supplies for us." So the pertinent question is: "How do we gear ourselves with this survival kit?"

1. We need a firm relationship with God.

We must be prepared to meet God at any moment. Isn't it strange how we prepare for so many things except meeting God? Getting to know God and being able to call on Him is the first step in storing up for the storms. Getting to know God is more than treating Him as a casual acquaintance - its developing a deeper relationship with Him every day.

2. We need to learn how to walk with God in our daily lives.

Have you ever been asked, "How is your walk?" There are people who seem to be holding the hand of God throughout life's journey, but there are also people who are lagging far behind.

In the old testament, we read about Abraham who walked with God and was called a friend of God. Noah walked with God, and when the Flood came, Noah was saved. Moses walked with God, and when the hour of judgement fell upon Egypt, Moses led his people to victory Daniel walked with God, and he was saved from the lions' den.

God does not always pull His children out of deep water. Peter was crucified upside down; Andrew was tied to a cross for three days before he died; John was a prisoner on a desolate island; Bartholomew was beaten; Thomas was murdered. These men walked with God. And today we too have access to that same strength that the apostles did.

3. We need to read and memorize Scripture.

It's important to memorize scriptural verses and hide them in your heart. When persecution, trouble and adversity arise, these verses will give you hope and strength. They may even come in handy when someone you know needs encouragement. What verses have you stored up for the future?

4. We need to make prayer our priority.

We live in a materialistic world, but it seems as if we pray only during a crisis, and then between crises we neglect to pray. But we have so many battles going on that we should be a people of prayer! Our government needs our prayers. Our leaders need our prayers. Our schools need our prayers. Our youth need our prayers. Our families need our prayers.

Are we prepared spiritually for the increasing attacks upon us? We have "spiritual forces of evil" at work in our world. Depravity seems to be increasing every year. We need to be in prayer against those "powers of darkness." Miracles have happened when God's people have turned to Him in prayer. Nonetheless, it is imperative to remember that although God does not always deliver us out of catastrophe, but He promises to be with us throughout.

God's Storehouse for us!

Are we preparing for the storms of suffering? Or will we be caught without resources? The best way to prepare is to deepen our spiritual lives, to deepen our life in the Holy Spirit. Being filled with the Holy Spirit is an ongoing experience. When Paul wrote, "Be filled with the spirit," he conveyed the idea that we keep on being filled with the Spirit, like and ever-flowing spring. We have God's storehouses available to us at ALL times. When the resources are needed, they are there for us. So be prepared, so that when the "day of evil" comes, we will not be controlled by the circumstance around us; rather, we will depend on the resources of God.