Thursday, December 11, 2008

REJECTION: LET'S FACE IT!

Let's face it, rejection is a fact of life. And if you are still young and naive to this world, I'm sorry to tell you this truth. What matters most however, is how you choose to respond to it--with despondence or endurance. 

I got my first rejection today. Well, technically not my first cos' last I remembered earlier this year I did receive 14 Ph.D. application rejections (maybe not 14 cos' some schools didn't even bother mailing me a letter of rejection!), but today's, I guess, was the first rejection I got for a journal submission. So that's a first!

Although I am a defensive pessimist who doesn't usually hold my hopes too high just in case my ego plummets in the face of a failure, I can't deny the disappointment I felt. I mean, it's only natural to feel upset, angry, or hurt when you encounter rejection. Some would even argue it's evolutionarily adaptive cos' emotions spur us toward action--and hopefully constructive action. But thank God my co-author (my prof) was reassuring and encouraging in conveying the news. It definitely buffered me from the impact of the rejection. Now, I need to channel my energies toward picking up the pieces and getting back into shape with that paper, which I know I can.

It's amazing what rejection can do to you. It can make or break you. For some, rejection just feeds into their desire to succeed; for others, it can become a traumatic experience that paralyzes their will to pursue their interests, or a scar that can carry grievance and pain for a long time. Well of course, for another group it probably doesn't make any difference--there's always room for statistical variability in our responses to rejection yah? Whatever the case, today I chose to praise God in the face of rejection. For it is in our weakness, that God's strength is truly revealed. God has this knack of using the meek to do the most remarkable things, and using trials to mold us into greater beings. I recalled all the good things He had done, and reminded myself that I really have nothing to complain about. 

What really prompted me to blog tonight wasn't my dejection over being rejected. Rather I just felt this familiar tingling, magical feeling that God was at work today. On Monday, I felt motivated to prepare my application package, and submit it to the office way before the deadline, which is 1 Jan 09. So on Tuesday afternoon, motivated me went down to the bookstore to get envelops to put my transcript and supporting documents into. This afternoon (Wednesday), my package was dropped off at the PhD office. The supporting documents included my CV, which under the "publications" section had my journal title written there as "under review". Obviously, I can't do anything about it now (I had just received the rejection) because the CV has been submitted with my package. Well, I could email the office and tell them that my manuscript had been rejected and change its status, but that would cause too much of a hassle and irritate the staff handling the applications--not a wise move. So somehow everything worked out such that my CV still looks good, and I didn't intentionally hide the news of the rejection from them. In any case, it shouldn't hurt my prospects that much. Besides, I could always change the status to "manuscript in preparation" or something like that. I would update them when I do get through to the interviews. NONETHELESS, I can't help but feel the tingling feeling that God was at work somehow, and He still is. He has given me much more than I can ever imagine, and a wonderful testimony that can encourage and uplift others (haha, shan't reveal anything here for now). So for this and other things, I can only look to Him in awe, and praise Him for His wonderful grace and favor on me.  

Rejection? Hahahaha. Laugh at it. If you deserve to be rejected, then do something it. If you feel rejected unjustly, be it by someone you had treated with respect or someone you totally don't know (like the editor of the journal I submitted to), remember that God frowns upon injustice and He promises in the bible that the unjust will be paid their dues. And even if the whole world rejects you, which is clearly impossible cos' you won't be able to meet everyone in the entire world in your lifetime (duh!), remember that Christ loved you so much that He gave His life to pay for your sins. It's like having the favor of the King. If you have the favor of the King, why would you need the favor of His men? Anyway, pleasing God can sometimes win you the favor of men. Doesn't mean that you'll definitely be rejected by people because of your faith; I guess it's more accurate to think that we should love God and follow Him in spite of the possibility of losing favor with men. Okay, getting into too much theology. Need to stop here now.

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