Monday, December 01, 2008

"What does a CEO, a president, and a goldfish have in common?"

This question was posed several weeks ago to the congregation at TSC by a visiting Pastor. Don't think too hard cos' this is no IQ question, neither is it some psychoanalytical question aimed at detecting some of your innermost desires and unconscious conflicts. Think abstract. Yes, they have to breathe to live, they need food to survive, yada, yada, yada. There's nothing shocking really in the answer. They all will face the ineluctable fate of death's grip over their lives.

The Pastor mentioned two points that stuck with me: 1) LIFE IS SHORT (and I'm sure all you oldies out there like myself can fully comprehend and appreciate this fact, as we start to disregard the need for candles on our cake during our special day every year, and notice the inches amassing at our waists!) 2) LIFE CAN BE WASTED. This second point struck me hard. It's bad enough that life is as fleeting as a vapor; worse still, one can look back and express regret over the lost time that can never be reclaimed.

One of my favorite songs in secondary school was this song by Joni Mitchell, "The Circle Game". I used to sing it when I was walking home along Old Holland Road, being extra careful to notice if there were people approaching me from behind (don't worry, I wasn't being hypervigilant or oversensitive about anything). I remember lowering my voice, or pretending to clear my throat, when people approached. I was pretty shy, you know. Anyway, I loved the chorus of this song:

And the seasons they go round and round,
And the painted ponies go up and down,
We're captives on the carousel of time,
We can't return we can only look behind from where we came,
And go round and round and round on the circle game.

Yep, we are captive to the eventual fate of turning to dust and ashes. This may sound moribund and bleak, but it's a truth that we need to resign to. Of course, if you're Christian (like how I am), you'll believe in an eternity that far outweighs the pleasures of life on earth. However, that doesn't mean that your stay on earth should lay to waste. As I look back on my life (I'm still fresh and in my prime, so no complaints!), I recall times when I wished time would just fly by, and other times when I wished that time would just freeze and God would allow me to revel in the state forever. Unfortunately, we're not a "Hiro Nakamura"; we don't have super powers to time travel or freeze time. Man hasn't evolved to a state where we are able to dictate which time periods to fast forward, and which to configure to a slow playback speed---in it's literal sense, that would be pretty hilarious.

Whatever it is the chilling thought that "LIFE CAN BE WASTED" spoke volumes to me that day, and it continues to do so. As I'm in the midst of my PhD applications and juggling research and coursework, I can't help but wonder where all these would eventually lead me to. It's exciting really and I'm glad for the doors the Lord had shut and opened. Yet my mind can't stop dwelling on the paradoxical fact of life: That most of us spend a huge portion of our lives striving hard just to enjoy a piece of respite amidst the labors of life, so that we can retire at 65 and pay our kids' college education, (and in America, pay off our mortgages). Perhaps then we can take our time to do everything we ever wanted...hopefully we still have that energy and zeal to do so.

Whenever I go on FB, I'm pretty consoled by the photos I see. Perhaps it's just how the yuppies of this generation are able to enjoy life and play hard a little more than the Baby Boomers. Posted photos consist of travel and food and fun and babes and sand and the sea. I guess we all need a little comfort amidst the stresses of life. But at the end of the day, how much of everyone's lives are meaningful, I wonder. In the first place, should that be some higher goal driving our lives, or are we supposed to just drink and make merry since life is short and we are bound to die anyway. Of course again, being Christian, I would take the former view.

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