DOES IT PAY TO DO GOOD?

How many times have you done something good for someone and things didn’t turn out as expected? Recently, there has been a debate on the Straits Times regarding how Singaporeans haven’t been appreciative of little acts of kindness done for their fellow countrymen (or women as many of these deeds were done out of ‘gentlemen-liness’). Some men were complaining on the forum about some ladies being unappreciative of them opening the doors for them. Men didn’t escape the wrath of their fellow gender-mates either. There was a particular letter about two men getting into a little spat over a man not saying a simple “thank you” or demonstrating some little gesture of gratitude when the other, out politeness and kindness, left the door open for him. Then there’s also this huge thing in the papers about whether Singaporeans will be able to rise up to the occasion and spread a little kindness when the IMF/WB delegates do step on our soil and contribute to our GDP in September. PM Lee was saying in his National Day Rally Speech last week that “maybe four million smiles not enough”.

Anyway, when I reflect on what people have been squabbling about on the newspaper, I can understand why they get so upset. Anybody who is human will inevitably feel that sense of disappointment, of being let down; anybody will feel upset with the other person especially when special effort was being made. I suppose most of us just feel that it’s the natural order of things that good is repaid with good—hao xin you hao bao. However, at the end of the day when our expectations are not met what can we do? Just grit our teeth, bear with it and learn from this lesson: “It never pays to do good!” So how? Just don’t do it next time lor. We all learn the hard way. Well, if you can’t handle the disappointment, I guess that’s the soundest advice that can be given. The worst case scenario is lashing it out at the other party and landing yourself at the police station, or letting it wreck your day and spoil your colleague’s day when you finally lose your cool and blurt out for once honestly that her pink polka dotted dress is just so last season.

I’m sorry I’m not trying to be cynical nor am I trying to be pessimistic about Singapore aiming to become a more first world, civic society. Many people who have been to the States would say things like “Why can’t we be like the Americans? They even greet strangers on the street?” Firstly, if we do that people will think we siao. Secondly, they may think we are trying to sell them insurance or some kind of miracle stain-remover. Worst is they don’t respond and that makes us look ridiculous (How many times have we resisted going up to someone to say “hi” because we worry about them being able to recall who we are?). And I’m sorry that I also have to backtrack a little at this juncture and tell you why I was even inspired to make an entry in my blog today after such a “long” hiatus. It’s simply because I had an out-of-the-ordinary experience today on the bus, on my way home. Well, then again I had another one last week but was too lazy to jot down in my blog (Met a peculiar character on the 170 bus whom I unofficially diagnosed on my own as being schizophrenic). Okay not to sidetrack, today’s experience was as follows:

I was sitting on the no. 67 on my way home this evening at around seven-ish (I always have atypical experiences on buses, and I wonder why…that happened to me when I was in the US too, but I’ll write it down in my blog another time—that’s if I’ve got the time and energy). Anyway, I didn’t know why I was so fortunate to land myself a seat because the bus was filled to the brim, everyone was elbow to elbow in that bus. Then there was this girl from a particular JC—someone in along the PIE ya—who was carrying a stack of files and books as well as a huge duffle bag slung on her shoulder, that was standing diagonally in front of my seat. Seeing that this old Indian man standing beside her landed himself a seat, I decided to ask her if she would like to take my place. So I stood up and offered her my seat, but she declined my offer. Well, I tried right? So I sat back down on my seat. The funny thing was that although she rejected the offer she actually chose a second option—which didn’t really cross my mind, or rather never did—that was to “allow” me to help her carry her stuff on my lap. Caught off-guard I let out a quick and sharp “sure, no problem” (being the kind soul I usually am…;)).

Then we started making some small talk about the mind map she drew up on polymers (long-chained molecules for those, who like myself, have lost touch with ‘A’ Level Chemistry) that was stuck on the cover of her notebook, and the picture of Ah Meng on the back cover. I sort of joked about how she could do some last minute re-cap before her exam by taking a glance at the mind-map, and when she was too stressed out by that, flip over to the other side and laugh at Ah Meng’s picture. Y’know that typical back forth, back forth kind of conversation. Shortly after, the person beside me got down the bus so I shifted in and motioned her to sit down. She sat down, took her books back, and we continued the conversation mainly about school, exams, her future, her career, etc. She seemed so comfortable and spontaneous just chatting and sharing her concerns with me. I told her briefly about the JC I came from, what I studied, and what I was working as. She shared about how she didn’t like the nine-to-five (I just get the sense that nobody likes it—I’ve been hearing that for ages now!) desk-bound kind of job. I guess the best part for me was the opportunity to encourage her to pursue something that she had the passion for. I hope I did “impart” some pearls of wisdom in my conversation with her.

Anyway, we ended that 15-minute interaction on the bus with me moving out of my seat one bus-stop earlier to make way for this pregnant lady who was standing along the aisle. Did another good deed! Oh yeah, that reminds me there were also some Singaporeans who were talking about ‘aunties’ and pregnant ladies not being appreciative of their kindness when they gave up their seats on the MRT. Oh well, I guess it doesn’t matter to me because when I do do a good deed I get my ‘kick’ from knowing that I get an additional point on my ‘balance scorecard’ in Heaven! I’m not saying that I don’t get disappointed by people’s lack of gratitude or failure to recognise my efforts, but rather I’ve learnt over time not to expect it anymore. When I do something good, I just try not to expect some reward in return. Perhaps we could all adopt this mindset from henceforth and save ourselves from that disappointment.

That brings me back to the bible (how can I not bring God into the picture?), the famous story of Cain and Abel (refer to verses below). Did it ever occur to you why God rejected Cain’s offering? The bible never stipulated why God did not accept Cain’s sacrifice, and of course we believe that God definitely—without a single doubt—had a good reason to do so. Most would reckon that Cain’s attitude was improper, or his offering was not up to God’s standard. Proverbs 21:27 says, “The sacrifice of the wicked is detestable—how much more so when brought with evil intent!” God evaluates both our motives and the quality of what we offer Him. When we give to God and others, we should have a joyful heart because of what we are able to give. We should not worry about how much we are giving up, for all things are God’s in the first place, neither should we get upset over people not thanking us or remembering us for what we did for them. At the end of the day, all that matter’s is God’s opinion, not the opinions of men.

Life is short. That means that we have limited time to shine for God. Make hay while the sun shines; make God proud with whatever you can give unto Him and others. So that brings me back to the initial question, “Does it pay to do good?” Some of you would have heard my story regarding my experience at “Singapore Idol” in 2004 (the one on how I shared my umbrella with a group of guys who were standing in the rain—not that they were exceptionally cute, just to make sure that those of you who are suspicious over my motives don’t get the wrong impression—and received a huge favour in return that allowed me carry on with my audition—and no that’s not how I made it to top 45!). If you are familiar with this story, you would know that I am a firm believer of the “Pay it forward” principle.

To me, it does pay to do good. On earth the “payment” may not be commensurate with the effort dished out, but in Heaven one would be glad to know that every little deed does NOT go unnoticed in Jesus’ ‘archives’. Every single deed is worth a gem! No matter what there is always ‘payment’. Sometimes it may just be a simple smile or nod; sometimes it may just be a ‘good’ lesson learnt—no, I don’t mean from then on pretend to sleep and not surrender your seat to any nine months pregnant lady standing conspicuously in front of you—that it may be a good thing not to expect too much from people. God sees our intentions (the bible says in Romans 8:27 - God looks to see what is in people's hearts), we have to be sincere in our motives and not to do things to obtain the praises of men. That is easier said than done, but it is not out of reach with lots of prayer and reading of His word. And always remember Acts 20:35, “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”


Genesis 4:2-7
Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."