Macro policy paired with micro perspectives

Got into a short conversation with my mum this morning over the recent hoo-ha by stay-home mothers in the Straits Times. Was considering whether I should attempt to submit a letter to the forum but am kinda lazy to write in proper structured sentences so I shall just air my views here in my humble blog to satisfy my need to express my thoughts. Furthermore, I needn't worry about people sending responses that disagree with me to the forum--haha, such a need for self-validation! 

So here's the point of contention. The recently-announced Baby Bonus does not include stay-home mums. This entails that Singaporean mums who resign from the workplace to take care of their children and household matters are not entitled to Baby Bonus from the Singapore government. Obviously, some will cry foul to that. Who's to say that they don't work equally hard as their working counterparts? Some stay-home mums have wrote in to share their side of the story--their intentions, their struggles and how they have to cope with these.

Talking to my mum about this matter resurrected stories of past events that were unknown to me. She shared how she had to face similar working-mum struggles when I was born. When my elder sister was born, she could leave her with my grandma. But that wasn't the case for me. It was only later on when she found a suitable nanny to take care of me that things got better. She related a stressful 3-month period she had to survive: Going to work, picking up the kids after work, cooking dinner, cleaning up, washing nappies (no pampers then---I'm that old!), putting us to bed, and then finally getting to rest. And even when domestic help was available later on when we hired a maid, my mum had to save her leave days so that she could be a stay-home mum while my maid was allowed some leave to go home to the Philippines. And that wasn't easy either. If you are wondering where my dad is, he had to work late most of the time. Both of my parents had to work because they had to pay housing loans and other stuff. 

Wow, I really applaud my mum. And of course, my dad. He worked hard too. But hearing all the difficulties mums have to face (here in Singapore and I presume elsewhere) makes me wonder whether the government can do more (won't want to question whether they are doing enough). Sure, the baby bonus sounds like a huge incentive for couples to do their part to contribute to the population growth of this nation. We need more babies to "replace" the baby boomers so we give people rewards (or minimize their financial burdens) so that they will pro-create. It's all about national policy. Nothing wrong really... To me, it just sounds sounds so strategic and goal-oriented, almost lacking an empathy.

My thought is that Singaporean parents don't just need a good sum of money and a certain number of leave days to care for their kids. They need support all the way. I believe that Singaporean parents are responsible parents that want quality and well-rounded care and education for their kids. That's why mothers are willing to forgo their careers to stay at home. But others have no choice but to work because they need dual-income to maintain the household. Parents may worry about whether they can be "good parents", whether they can send them for enrichment classes like ballet, swimming, foundation courses, and all sorts. The competitive nature of our society has given birth to a generation of parents who wants to provide the best for their kids. This really tires them out and drains them of their finances. Their desire to provide proper upbringing for their children should also be considered as a form of contribution to nation-building. Ultimately, we wouldn't want to have a generation of latch-key kids that end up becoming ill-bred juvenile delinquents because they don't get quality parenting. These expectations whether self-imposed or imposed by society need to be managed. Parents don't just need Baby Bonuses and extra leave days, they need to know how to be good parents without overdoing it and neglecting their own psychological well-being. I believe many parents simply sell themselves to their work and kids and forget about their own respite and even marriage.

I'm happy that the government seems to be gathering feedback about factors that are holding parents back from pro-creating. This allows them an avenue to share their struggles and hopefully their needs can be met by the government, NGOs, community services, and religious groups. My take is that macro policies should be paired with micro perspectives, with the latter revolving around the needs of different groups of people in society. Having a compassionate leadership that seeks to empathize (and of course, also to extend some form of practical help) is important. I'm sure new mums go through a lot of dilemmas (e.g., "Should I have my second child right after my first one so that I can continue my career after that?", "But will having two children, one after the other, be too tough to manage?"), and they require a lot of support. Workplace policies need to work in tandem with government policies. A supportive culture should be fostered in society.