Nope, "The Lonely Sunflower" ain't gonna close down (if you happen to be kinda worried by the title above). She's just going to be uprooted and replanted in a cooler and greener pasture where new opportunities abound. It's a difficult move but it's a necessary step for greater things to happen for the sunflower that has grown so accustomed to the warmth she's surrounded by amongst her beloved family and friends both new and old. It's time for her to enliven and adorn a brand new environment with her bright yellow petals!
For those of you who didn't know. I'll be moving to New York City this Wed. I recall that five years back when I first visited NYC, it was love at first sight! But I did reckon that I didn't want to be living there long-term because the city is generally overcrowded and densely populated, and I didn't appreciate the hustle and bustle that came along with it. Who would have thought yah? My fourth visit would be a protracted 5-year period (at the very least)!
The reality just struck me yesterday when I visited my old house off Ewart Park. I was driving solo in my Chevy with a CD of Zhang Dong Liang crooning some sappy mandopop songs playing in my car stereo system. The atmosphere was intensified by the light drizzle and grey skies. I was cruising down Holland Road, when I decided on the spur of the moment to pop by the place for a final visit before I leave. The sights along the way were so familiar to me; it seemed as though I had never uprooted from that location. But as I reached the house, I realized that the gate had been repainted from black to brown, the fences had been given a fresh coat of paint, and the plants in the garden had been removed. The sight sparked a feeling of affection mixed with a tinge of detachment. At this time, the mood was really accentuated by the schmaltzy tune playing in the background.
I felt a sense of loss and thought to myself whether things would change by the time I came back--that may be 5 years later, 8 years later, or even a decade later. Would my old house still be around? Would my parents still be living at the Hillside? Would my friends remember me? Would our bonds withstand the length of time and the absence of physical contact? By then Orchard Road would have experienced a facelift and the two IRs would be up and running. The now-youths in DR would have all grown up and some would be dating, some would be working, some would be studying in uni, and (I pray) many would be serving the Lord and shining for Him in their respective places in life.
As for me, hopefully I'd be accomplished. Married? Yep, hopefully. Perhaps serving in some church in Manhattan...a CD recording? I was also reminded of the fact that if I do eventually get to start a family in the next few years in the States, this move to NYC would represent an even more major transition in my life where I leave my parents' nest and strike my own independence. Oh, this thought just kills me! I don't wanna grow up so soon. I like living with mummy and daddy. I want them to remain young forever. I want me to remain young forever!
Goodbye Singapore! Though I lament my life over here from time-to-time and criticize the way certain things are done here and how the culture kinda disappoints me occasionally, it is still my home. Nope, this is not some National Day message although it seems appropriate for the occasion. It's just a parting note to something that has been familiar and close to me for the past 25 years of my life (my birthday's not here yet so please give me a one-year allowance yah!). In Psychology 101, we learn about the phenomenon of "Imprinting". Accordingly, studies involving goslings had previously shown how they form an attachment to the first moving stimulus (usually the mother goose) that they set their eyes on during a critical period after they are born. This is how most of us learn who our parents are when we are babies. Similarly, just as how I've formed a bond with my parents because I recognized them and followed them since birth, I've grown to acknowledge Singapore as something important to me. I will miss the familiarity I have to it--the sights and sounds, the food and places, the peculiarities and uniqueness. Goodbye Orchard Road, goodbye Bukit Batok, goodbye ba chor mee....
The next time I blog it would be "Hello, New York!" I hope I'll like it. It will make the move an easier one. But for now, it's "So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu!"
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