Didn't blog yesterday. Was busy preparing slides for the course I'm conducting--my first lecture I'm giving as Psych! And I still have to prepare the research conference coming up. Was thinking a lot yesterday about pursuing some things that I've always wanted to do--singing class and volunteering. Would really like to work with young children with Autism. Wonder whether I should try the Autism Association. As for vocal class, thinking of going to the Methodist school near Bukit Timah. I'm moving near there next month. Feel the need to do something.

Managed to complete the slides today and get some reading done for the research conference. Glad I managed to cram in some nap time as well. Packed some things at home too. Going to move in a month's time. Boy am I going to miss this place quite badly. Lived here since I was 5 years plus I think. So many memories...can't really imagine what it'll be like to be away from this place--thank God we're renting it out only, still can come back and look see. I'm going to miss the walks home (I always sing as I stroll), and the jogs around the area.

(s): (this popped in my head today) How much time couples should spend together? While I do understand that quantity is not equivalent to quality and strength of relationships shouldn't be determined based on the time spent together, isn't it dangerous if a couple doesn't find time to bond or only does so when they are free? What happens when they don't make the effort to do things together? What happens when you don't even want to chat over the phone? If all this stems from a simple lack of "feeling" to do so, is this relationship doomed?

Just throwing some thoughts here. Human emotions can be so erratic and volatile. It seems so absurd how two people who could spend so much time together in the past--being together almost every single day--and missing each other so badly when they don't meet for a day or two, can seem so cool about not seeing each other or talking to each other for weeks. So was it "love" in the first place or was it just pure infatuation? Was it because it was novelty or perhaps just some pastime that can be forsaken when busyness sets in?

I'm glad God doesn't work that way. He loves us all the time. Though sometimes we can neglect Him quite a bit and grow indifferent towards Him, He's always the same, unchanging and reliable. I'm only human and many times I can find myself so sufficient that I can do without Him. I can go for days without spending quality time with Him. Overtime, I just enter a dry spell and become so embedded in the world. Then something strikes and He draws me back to Him cos' that's the only place where I can find solutions, comfort and acceptance.

I suppose romantic relations should be upkept the same way as our relationship with God. It takes discipline and commitment. It takes time and energy. But all in all, it's worthwhile.

Sometimes, we shut ourselves from God. We don't acknowledge our need for Him and remain fixated on the thought that we can manage. Is that pride at work? I guess so for some cases. But I do believe that it is definitely so for relationships between couples. Sometimes pride gets in the way and we think "why should I be the first one to call?" or "why should I be initiating things?"

Well, moral of the story? Ask God to be the centre of all relationships, be it our spiritual relationship with Him or our human relations with our family, friends and partner. Ask God to help you love all these people as yourself. Ask God to help you take the initiative to engage people in your life. And ask God to help you be a good Christian daughter, son, sibling, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, etc., to these people. Yah, think that's it. Not going to dwell on these questions anymore. Going to surf the net for a while then will go to bed. Goodnight!

~lene

[Written on 20 May, 2353hrs]